DH vent...

sami1784

I know it's a problem on DH's end, but I'm not sure how to deal with it.  When I talk to DH on Skype, I often turn the laptop toward LO so that they can see each other and so DH can talk to him.  Usually, DH will at least ackowledge that he's looking at LO.  Today, he was folding laundry in his room while he was online with me, and I turned the laptop toward LO who was in the jumperoo.  I know DH was looking at LO, as I was peering over the top of the screen.  However, he wouldn't talk to him, and when I mentioned that I turned the computer to LO so that he could talk to him, DH replied that it's not like he can really interact with him from there anyway, that he's just a voice and a picture on the screen, so there's not much point.  This really got under my skin, as I can't help it that we found out we were pregnant before he got orders and I certainly can't help it that he's deployed during LO's first 8 months.  I'm just trying to do the best I know how and allow them to interact as much as possible, circumstances considered.  Any ideas on how to get DH to talk to LO more online and to get a better attitude about it?

boymomstrong

You may not be able to... I would say just give him the chance and maybe hold LO while your talking so that LO can see and hear daddy, and hopefully it will help when he comes home...

Sorry this is stressfull for you....

chloebeth930

It honestly just sounds like a defensive mechanism on his part.  Maybe he is starting to worry about missing so much of LO's life and he is just worried that he is just a voice/picture on the screen to his own child.

I would just give him some slack and not bring it up.

loveN_387

i understand what your going through. my husband acts the same way with our 4 year old, he talks to her but after awhile he stops and she walks away from the computer. he does it bcuz it hurts him that hes gone and its just not the same. im also pregnant and he doesnt ask questions and when he sees my belly he gets very quite. 

i think you should talk to your husband about this. tell him it hurts you and you need him to talk and interact more with your baby. im know it may hurt him to be away but it will hurt him way more when he comes home and your baby is scared or doesnt want to be near him. 

pesci12

Talk to him and let him know it bothers you.

Honestly, it could just be tough for him to see your LO knowing that he's missing out on so much.  I know it upsets my H to see all the new things DD is doing on skype.  He left when she was still a baby, now she's a busy toddler. 

 

runxc31

he is deployed? he may have just been having a bad/off day. it is not easy for him to be so far away from home and know what he is missing, just like it isnt easy on your side either. so saying that you know it is his problem is kinda harsh, but thats my opinion. I am in a dual milt marriage, and we have both been doing this for awhile. they are going to have rough moments, but dont take it personal. I am sure he didnt mean it in any negative way. on the inside he is probably just wishing he could be playing with his child and smiling back and forth and all those good baby moments

sami1784

runxc31:

he is deployed? he may have just been having a bad/off day. it is not easy for him to be so far away from home and know what he is missing, just like it isnt easy on your side either. so saying that you know it is his problem is kinda harsh, but thats my opinion. I am in a dual milt marriage, and we have both been doing this for awhile. they are going to have rough moments, but dont take it personal. I am sure he didnt mean it in any negative way. on the inside he is probably just wishing he could be playing with his child and smiling back and forth and all those good baby moments

I didn't mean it being his problem as being harsh.  I meant it more so that I know that it's nothing that I've done, just stuff he's dealing with... has nothing to do with me, but still affects me.  He's been doing better though - we had a talk about it the day after it happened and I let him know that how he had acted really bothered me.  He apologized and we talked about why he was in such a foul mood the previous day.  All is good now!   We have good communication skills 99% of the time, just that 1% that causes some friction.