I'm not even sure how to phrase this. I'm dealing with how to get DD to accept/recognize/understand the consequences of her own actions. I know she's only 3.5, but she's smart as a whip and understands a lot. There are some things, like health or safety, that I insist on, like if she doesn't want to wear a coat/gloves/etc. and says she doesn't want to bring them, I either insist before we leave the house or take them with me and then have them available when she wants them 10 minutes later out on the street. I think it would be cruel & harsh to say, "sorry, you have to freeze now since you didn't want to bring your coat out."
But what do I do in situations when it's not a safety/health thing? Like if DD didn't want to bring something non-essential and then has a breakdown on the street 20 minutes later because said item is not magically in my purse?
Do you need specific examples? I should note that DD has been prone to having more meltdowns lately with the move to France. I totally get that everything is different and new and that she has to deal with a new language at school (although there are also some teachers and kids who speak English & Spanish) and that it's all exhausting. Heck, I even want to have a tantrum sometimes. However, I need to get a handle on it somehow and this "evading responsibility" thing (for lack of a better term) is one I would love to tackle as soon as possible. Is there anything I can do or is it just a grow-into-it kind of thing?