April 2012 Moms
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shower for second time mom?
Hi all. I was wondering is there etiquette about having a baby shower for the second baby? I thought you only did it for the first one, but one of my friends wants to throw me a shower for our baby #2. I think she feels bad that she didn't throw one for baby #1, and since she came so early we didn't get any of that pre-party stuff done.
The other thing that throws a wrench into the mix is that I am on bedrest, and we are team green. My husband thinks it is stupid to have a shower before the baby is born since we might have another girl, therefore have "everything we need".
*do you ever have EVERYTHING you need?
Thanks
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Re: shower for second time mom?
My 2 SIL's are throwing me a shower on the other side of the state. I said yes because none of those women were able to come all the way over here for my huge, fabulous, original baby shower 3 years ago. I'm asking for no gifts but I'm sure I'll get diapers and clothes. It's also small, family only and super casual in a restaurant for Sunday brunch. I'm happy I'll get to hug everyone with my baby bump and celebrate my son with them.
I am worried that people might think it's tacky but apparently this happens a lot with 2nd or more babies in my husbands family.
Konstantino
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My friends/family keep asking if we are having another shower, and I have told them that as far as I know, we are not. But, to be honest, if someone offered one, I wouldn't turn it down. I think I would just ask that it be more of a celebration rather than a shower. Could you ask your friend to do something like that?
To answer your question, can you ever have everything? Not in my opinion. For instance we need another monitor, humidifier, decor for her room, more swaddling items (we like The Woombie), diapers/wipes, etc. So, if someone really wanted to throw a shower (even for someone who is team green), there certainly are things even second/third time parents need. But, it's not essential.
In my family, it is customary to have a shower no matter how many kiddos you already have. We like an excuse for a party!
If someone offers to throw you a shower, do it!!
My mom just assumed that I would be having a baby shower for my 2nd, lol. It's nice, I do like the attention, and I love parties/celebrations. I wouldn't have asked for one, but I wouldn't turn down one that was offered! My mom also wants to throw a shower for me so that I can get all my own things, instead of things borrowed from my MIL that I'll be sharing with my SIL (who is due a week after me and having a girl).
We are team green, too, so we've actually considered doing the shower after LO is here, too, because we wouldn't really need anything if LO is a boy; but if LO is a girl then we need a lot of things.
I'm in the minority on this board, but I find it very tacky to throw a shower for a second child, barring major year gaps. A shower's entire purpose is to give the mom-to-be (or parents-to-be) gifts that she'll need for the baby. No, you can never have everything you need, but do you really want to be so gift grubby?
If your friend wants to throw you a party, have a party, not a shower. Have a sip-n-see after the baby's born. Have a get-together where people just come and have fun and don't bring gifts. But a second child baby shower is pretty tacky.
mm 2/17/11 * dd born 4/20/12 * bo 1/3/14 * edd 1/21/ 1/15
I'm with you. I think it is extremely tacky and gift grabby to have a shower for a second (or third, fourth, etc) if there are no major age gaps. I was asked about a shower for this one several times. I told my coworkers that they were extremely generous with DS and since the gift card they gave us was used to buy things that we used for DS and that we are using again for this one, there is definitely no need for another shower. I told others that since we were Team Green with DS and are Team Green again. We have everything in neutral including 2 1/2 twenty gallon bins of neutral clothing up to 12 month sizes (if this one is a boy then I have 6 bins total of outgrown clothing from DS, I'm set with clothing). I had some say they want to give a little gift, I said if they would like to wait until the baby is born and if a girl they may do so (as people will buy small gifts when the baby is born anyway).
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I think you should ask your friend if she will host a sip-and-see.
It's what my SIL is doing for me. We will have an open house a few weeks after the baby gets here. I won't be registering for anything and gifts won't be expected but we both know our friends and family well enough to know that they will bring gifts of clothes and blankets, etc.
It's also a great way for people to get to meet your baby but not just drop by whenever they feel like it. Get all those visits out of the way at one time!
Thanks ladies!
I have never heard of a sip-n-see, but it sounds like a great idea. Especially if we can keep this one out of the NICU.
I think I will talk to her and see if we can hold off until after the baby is born and we will see what happens.
I also like the idea of it being a celebration instead of a shower.
Like I said before I think she just feels bad, I was the first of my friends to have a little one, so nobody really knew what to do the first time around, and then poof, here she was, 10 weeks early, so then we were just so caught off gaurd and didn't have most things ready for her.. DH and close family had to scramble to get all the necessities in place before she came home.