Dealing with DD's frustration?

McKee3

DD has hit a whole new level lately and she gets very frustrated when she can't get her clothes on right, when she doesn't get her way, when she can't reach something, etc. I know this ia normal but I haven't figured out how to deal with it. She won't let me help her and tells me to go away while she's freaking out. Right now she's in her room screaming with the door closed.

What do you do to handle frustration? Do you check on your LO or just let them work it out? Help!

June2007

I think it works differently depending on the kid. For my DD I have to let her work it out on her own. Any attention I give her on encourages the drama. All I can do is to tell her to go to her room and take a deep breath and calm down. She'll go screaming and carrying on and such but emerge a few minutes later saying "I tooked a deep breath and I all calm now!"

jlw2505

I think it really depends on the kids and honestly with my kids, it depends on the overall mood of the day.  My girls are now almost 4 (in March) and 5 1/2.  Most of the time, giving them the time and space that they need to work out whatever the issue is on their own does the trick.  If they are screaming/crying, my trying to talk to them does nothing as they can't hear me and with my older DD, it just makes her worse.  If we are at home and they get upset/frustrated to the point where they are no longer listening, we ask them to go to their room until they are ready.  Sometimes they are beyond any bit of reason and are just crying/screaming and we pick them up, set them on their bed and then leave the room - shutting the door behind us.  I stand in the hallway and when I hear them start to calm down, I tell them they can tell me when they are ready.  I have them count to 10 and take deep breaths.  If we are out, I take them to the car or outside away from other people until they calm down.  Once they get past the emotion - they can typically talk through whatever is going on.  With the whole thing of getting themselves dressed or doing other things themselves - I try to let them try themselves for a while before I ask if they want help.  I don't push it and just let them try - they end up asking for help if they can't figure it out but they love having the chance to try - I know - always hard to follow this when we are rushing out the door but it does help and they learn faster than my always doing it for them.

cecee36

My daughter is the same way!  I usually find myself telling her to "take a break" or "let's try again later" which frustrates her even more but it's a no-win situation no matter what.  It happens usually when she can't accomplish a task like tying her shoes or if we're working in an activity book or homework from school and she can't figure it out.  VERY frustrating for her but after a short break, she's calm and ready to try again.  

jsugrin

My soon to be 3 year old is exactly the same way and it's so much drama around here right now.  I tell him " you can do it yourself but if you decide you want some help just let me know".  Seems like this gives him an easy out to come to me for help without being frustrated he didn't get it himself.  If I get short tempered because we're late, had a rough day ect and try to just get him to let me do it then he clings even harder to the do it myself routine and it just gets ugly.

McKee3

Thanks for all the responses, at least I'm not alone in the drama! I hope this phase goes by quickly.

KathrynMD

I try to model for DD - "Let's take a deep breath" a few times and that seems to help.  Also getting down on her level and telling her to put her head down on my shoulder seems to help.

kes77

My daughter is the same way!  She is very determined and strong-willed, she likes to do things herself, especially getting dressed, but she does frustrate easily if she can't do it right or do it quickly.  I often tell her to calm down, take a deep breath, and tell her to ask for help.  I often have to walk away from her and give her a couple minutes to "freak out" before she'll come and ask me for help.  I always have to remind her to not get so upset over something so small but I think it's the age and just them wanting to be independent.  :-)