Second Opinion Appointment (long)

kellyrn9956

Looks like I am joining the world of IVF'ers. Shady Grove had the same opinion as my current doctor - we could try another IUI. But it's $1,000 OOP for me, and what's the point? H's swimmers are so up and down, and my response to the drugs makes me a prime candidate for IVF. He put my IUI chances at about 8%, and with IVF, about 65%. Same opinion as my current RE. He also stated that i have been treated extremely well - he would have done nothing different.

The sad news - we are taking the next YEAR to save. We will be doing the shared risk program, which is 6 cycles for $22,000 (he recommended ICSI, so that's included in every cycle). If we don't have a live birth after the 6th try, I get all $22,000 back. If I don't respond, I get it all back. If I don't tolerate the treatment and decide I'm done, I get it all back. Plus, any FET's from any frozen embryos will be included as well. With one cycle being approximately $16,000, I can't pass this up.

I will be doing my treatment at my original clinic. The second opinion was nice to hear. My clinic does the exact same shared risk program. We will be taking a gift from my parents-in-law (they offer this all the time), and saving the rest. Although knowing my MIL, I have a feeling they will put the entire amount up for us. But we will not ask until the year is up to see where we are. I am also planning on applying for some of the IVF grants that are out there.

I need the time to regroup. I want to feel myself again. A year is a relief for me. I am not taking a break from TTC. We will continue to have unprotected sex of course, in hopes that we might get another miracle. And I will still be a Bump regular.

machole513

I'm sure you have mix emotions with this appt. It's great to hear of course that another doctor would have done everything your current has done, gets rid of the what ifs...I hope you guys don't have to wait a full year and get another miracle BFP..I always feel some hope when I see it happen to tohers in the same situation. And the shared risk program def is worth it. I don't think my RE office has that. Good luck and enjoy your "time off" as hard as it may be!

happilyeverafterxo

You are so amazing, Kelly.

I'm so glad you have a plan...a year will FLY by...we'll make sure of that! I am so proud of you for all you have been through and how you still come out on top. So admirable. I'll always be here rooting for you!

kleigh926

I'm sure it feels good to hear that your second opinion RE wouldn't have done anything differently. The shared risk program sounds like a really good deal too. Here's hoping that you will conceive naturally during your break and not even need to do IVF! T&P.

pulga131

Im sorry you have to move on to IVF; but I'm so glad to hear that your 2nd opinion said you've done everything right so far. I bet that is a relief. Taking a year off will be difficult I'm sure (9 months for me was quite difficult). But at the same time, it was nice to not always be at the drs office and just kinda living a normal life.  I hope you're time "off" will bring you a sense of peace and normalcy!

farmerlynda

You are one strong and amazing woman!  I love that you are so positive about this.  Totally makes me proud to be an IFer, and so happy that you're on this board to set an example for all of us

I'm excited for you, and glad that both REs reached the same consensus. I know it's stressful to be at the "end" of the treatment road -- The Big Kahuna, IVF.  But knowing your previous response to stims is great because it gives them a sense of how it's going to go, and a 65% chance is a great one! 

By the way, that is an absolutely amazing deal for $22K.  I just got off the phone with my second opinion RE's financial person, and unfortunately my failed IVF cycle really screws me.  The only refund plan I can get is for 3 cycles and costs... wait for it... between $33K and $40K to only get 70% back.  Ouch!  I think I will be going with a single cycle for $12K, if I end up switching that is. Or you can do two cycles for $20K (but no refund if the first cycle works). 

Anyway, I'm so excited you have a plan!  And it's awesome that your family is so supportive.  I hope that the year flies by for you, and I'll be praying for a take-home miracle baby to pop up and surprise you

 

tgreenf

As PP have all said, you are one strong chica!! I am glad you got a second opinion and are able to have a plan set out for you.  Praying for the next year to go by quickly and give you time to regroup.....orrrrr for a surprise before the year is ever up!  ;-)

mizzougal08

I know coming to this decision wasn't easy. So proud of you and how you're handling it. You are an inspiration girl!

hootie123

Good luck!   I'm here if you need any IVF advice! 

pinkmickey24

Good luck moving forward Kelly! It had to be reassuring to hear that everything your current RE has done and is planning on doing matches up with what another RE would do. 

adoruhbul

So sorry it came to that.  It's a good thing to know your second opinion feels your RE did everything right, but I know it also sucks because you were probably hoping you'd get offered another option.  A year is definitely a long time, but with a deal like that, you can't go wrong.  So sorry it came to this though, ugh, I wish you didn't have to move on to IVF, it sucks.  *hugs* so so sorry!

MsGMChick

Kelly, I'm sorry. I'm about 90% sure we're at the exact same place. Done with IUIs til an IVF next year but still unprotected sex "trying" til then. If you need to chat, I'm here. 

You are amazing. It'll be hard, but you guys can do this. Good luck!! 

matthewsbride05

Best wishes!

maggie2324

The 8% IUI and 65% for IVF are the same percentages for us! Because of that, we are stopping at one IUI. The 8% might even be on the optimistic side of 4-8%.

If the IUI fails, we will just be doing a single cycle of IVF. Personally, I think the shared risk cycles are a bit of a scam. If they think you will need multiple cycles, you won't qualify for them. So the people who do qualify will probably get their take-home baby on their first IVF (fresh or frozen). Most people lose money with these (although some people do benefit!) That price seems really good though, even if only for the reassurance.

For us, we are applying to Compassionate Care for IVF meds. If the meds are covered, one fresh cycle will be just under 10k including ICSI and cryo. 22k just isn't an option for us. If the fresh cycle fails and we have frosties, a frozen cycle won't be more than 3k. That 22k is as close to a guaranteed baby as there is though. Good luck.

genmalone

Wow, that sounds a lot like my consult a few weeks ago!

I'm glad they confirmed that you were receiving good treatment.  I was terrified that I had been wasting my time.  I hope this year flies by!  I completely understand the need to save.  We are also very fortunate to have parents willing to help.  I didn't want to take it but I'm 35 and just felt like it's our best shot.

Good luck!

DMCKnox

Kelly-I'm happy to hear about the 2nd opinion and it matching up with what you've. been doing. I'm in admiration of your continued strength in all that you've been through and your continued positive attitude of what lies ahead. I can only learn from your example and wish you all he best. Thanks for being a constant inspiration for me and I will pray for your miracle baby.  

SParkman80

Good luck moving forward! You are one strong woman! Enjoy your year and get yourself back Best wishes for you and your husband!

erockmomma

I'm so sorry you've reached this point.  Like everyone else said, I admire your strength and positive attitude.  Enjoy your time off.  Hopefully you'll get another miracle while you wait!  Good luck!

zookbride

I'm glad to hear you will still be a reg around here, but sorry you have to wait a year to do anything. I do understand though. I decided once we do 3 or 4 inject + IUI cycles, and its deemed necessary to move on to IVF, we'll be taking 6 months - year off so we can save and just take time to have sex for fun.

 I do, of course, hope you get a surprise BFP before then. Best of luck with your med break and enjoy your down time off meds. 

Kathy4678

I'm glad you had a good appointment!

We are doing Shared Risk through Shady Grove as well- it's a pretty good deal!

Hope this next year goes by quickly for you! 

kellydNC

I'm glad you have a plan, Kelly, but I'm sorry the wait is so long.  I'll keep my FX for a miracle for you in 2012, but if that doesn't happen, it sounds like your chances are really good with IVF.  ((Hugs)) glad you will still be on the board!

eponine7682

Your positivity is an inspiration hun. I am happy you have a plan and are moving forward. That shared risk program sounds remarkable. I really hope this year flies by for you. Many thoughts, prayers and hugs your way!

renee3n2008

Sounds like you have a great plan. Good luck with everything. I hope you get a BFP sooner rather than later. ;0) xoxo

sbrowns08

I'm super glad you have a plan! We waited a year for ivf and saved too. Granted we did some long shot iuis in the meantime, but I think a year off will be refreshing and restoring for you! You never know what might happen to speed things up! I hope you'll stick around!