Visitation

haleyw458

X is asking for 1 night a week and EOW and certain things on holidays, which is fine by me. This is what I've been trying to get him to agree to for the longest time now. But exactly what else should I put in there? I'm going to put in No overnights with the opposite sex unless married or family, and if he will not be able to take him one night then I should get first dibs on having him. Anything else you have?

CFjo2010

My only recommendation is do not put anything in the CO that you yourself may not follow. If you are going to put barriers on overnight visitors at X's house, be prepared to follow those rules as well. If X doesn't agree to that rule and it's left up to a Judge, it is very likely that a Judge will not order that condition or else will order it at both households. It may not seem like a big deal now, but in a year or so you may find yourself in an amazing relationship and want him to stay the night. You don't want to corner yourself.

Good luck! 

PrincessFiona9

Exactly...do not order anything for him that you wouldn't be willing to follow indefinitely.

JCGreene85

I would include if he is ___ minutes late he forfeits his visitaiton

If you are doing FROR it goes for you too, same as no overnights with the opposite sex.

I'd say he has to provide all items and that none will be provided (carseat, diapers, clothes ect)

Include specific times for holidays like which half of the day you each get ect.

I'm drawing a blank but I'd add to if I remember

cmanmom

I don't know how consistent he is but my favorite thing in my CO is that xh has to notify me of using his time the wed prior to his saturday time, and 48 hours in advance of a holiday.  This keeps him responsible for at telling me in advance if he is going to use his time.  If he doesn't call. = no visitation.  If he does call, and then is 15 min. late on the day of = no visitation.

haleyw458

Thanks ladies. He's never been consistent which is why I'm finally putting my foot down and making him do something legally. The biggest thing my attorney will be pushing is the fact that if he is wanting overnights then he should get his own place. He's lived 6 different places since September...has no car...used to sell weed..and still smokes it atleast a couple times a week. I do have texts and stuff he's put on Facebook as proof, but my goal isn't to keep DS away from him, because he's an amazing dad when he's around, but I just want stability and consistency for DS. I'm just so confused and stressed out.