What is the big deal, really? VENT!
knottie3c0525a8a3c64eaa
member
I am having a hard time understanding all the hate towards c-sections. I really do not understand. There is a reason why doctors recommend a c-section other than an induction or a vaginal birth. If you pick a doctor for your entire prenatal treatment, I would think you did you research and you trust that person's knowledge and experience. Why in the world wouldn't you? I am not saying just to blindly follow everything the doctor says - I do believe we need to be well informed in order to make sound decisions. Together with our doctor, a well informed expecting mother is in a good position to do what is best for her and her baby.
I get it - we are talking about major abdominal surgery. But I find hard to believe a decent doctor with good work ethic would suggest a surgery just because they feel like it. If they say they believe it to be the safest for you both in a case when, for example, the baby is too big, or breech, or when people (like me) have a pelvis shaped in a way that makes vaginal birth impossible, I would trust their judgement. I am tired of people saying I have to do certain exercises to widen my pelvis and try the vaginal birth anyways. I've been doing yoga since the 11th week and I do not want to take chances. That does not make me a bad mother!
I honestly think sometimes it is even irresponsible when people go against everything the doctor tells them just to have their "dream birth". Do these people tell us about the 3rd, 4th degree tears, or the terrible recovery they have after instrument assisted delivery and stuff like that? About incontinence problems that won't go away? Isn't one of the biggest arguments against c-sections the fact that the "major abdominal surgery" leads to a terrible recovery for the mom, etc? About things that can go wrong with the baby during birth?
It really gets on my nerves being criticized for doing what both my doctor and I think will be the best for my child. JUST NEEDED TO VENT.
Re: What is the big deal, really? VENT!
I am sorry people are giving you a hard time.
I do think c/s are overused and at times are not in the best interest of Mom and baby. It is easier to predict the outcome of a c/s than a vaginal birth and so OBs often view them as safer simply because they are more predictable. Those things are not necessarily always the same. With so many c/s it becomes harder to tell which are necessary and which are not.
While people should not criticize you for your decisions, I hope you give the same respect and leave out things like your next to last paragraph. I don't think there are many Moms that would endanger their babies or themselves for a dream birth.
well to each their own,
I had a c-section and it was the worst experience ever.
~after 34 cycles we finally got our 2nd little bundle of joy~
My IF blog
I think everyone's goal should be to have a healthy baby and a healthy mommy in the end. Whatever it takes.
I think some people lose sight of that while they are pregnant and they get stuck on the idea of how their birth should be.
Ultimately it's between you, your SO and your doctor. You have to do what's best for you and the baby... screw everyone else.
I wanted a natural birth because I know I have a history of reacting poorly to medications. I ended up with everything I didn't want-an epidural and ultimately a c/s. I was petrified of the c/s while pregnant. I blacked out and don't remember my son being born, his first cry, holding him for the first time or breastfeeding for the first time. I have about 8 hours where there's no memory; come to find out I got an amnesia medication because my labor and delivery was considered traumatic. I don't wish it on anyone. So yes, while I advocate for a vaginal birth, I definitely know there are reasons where a c/s it the only option.
I would simply tell people that it is what it is and you and your doctor have discussed it thoroughly and ultimately, it's the best decision for a safe delivery, then guide the conversation elsewhere. I had to do that when I said I wanted a natural birth-I was criticized left and right for "denying pain meds that were invented for good reason". I ended up in the end not even answering the question and guiding the conversation elsewhere. Good luck!
Same. I'm 10 weeks PP and my incision still isn't completely closed.
On a personal level, yes, it is totally sh!tty for someone to be questioning you about why you're having a c/s.
But how is this any different than someone judging you about having a c/s?
Bottom line is that vaginal birth is statistically safer than a c/s. And the worry with lots of c/s is about how the rate is rising over the whole population - the higher the rate gets, the more likelihood unnecessary ones are being performed. And with that comes more risk for babies and mothers, too. (I won't even get into the fact that there's only a 8% VBAC right now, which means if a woman has one c/s, she's most likely going to have to have a c/s for any subsequent children - and the more c/s one has, the higher the risk of complications.)
Having a 30+% c/s rate in this country is very questionable. Not all big or breech babies have to be a c/s. And though I agree with you that doctors overall aren't in it to push all women into surgery, I think some of them are too risk averse when they shouldn't be.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
i have to say i was freaking out right before i had my c/s bc i was so scared. it was my first surgery EVER, and it scared the ever living crap out of me. i was not against nor judged anyone that had a c/s, but i was one of those that was terrified of having a c/s. but it was bc i didn't know any better. after the whole experience, it was the easiest thing ever, and my recovery was out of this world. it was an absolutely amazing experience for me.
i do understand how you feel. it frustrates me when i see posts about expectant moms freaking out about having a c/s, but i honestly think that it's just the overall concept from our peers. i had zero reasons why i should've been so frightened before my surgery other than the concept i got from others (who had never had a c/s.)
now, what frustrated me even more, is the amount of doctors choosing to induce their patients when their bodies are not ready. i do not understand it whatsoever. all of my friends were induced one day after their due date, and they all had a horrible time with the pitocin, and had an overall bad experience/delivery. so my question is, why do c/s get so much wrath while inductions do not?
It's a GIRL!!
No one should criticize you for having a c-section.
That said, I think very few people go against their doctor just to have some dream birth experience. There may be a small number of crazy people out there, but by far the vast majority of women who want a natural birth or whatever want it because they genuinely feel it is the best for their baby and themselves. I know many women, myself included, who wanted a natural birth and then changed their plans when their doctor recommended it. This idea that women like that don't care about their child's well-being is not true and it's just as offensive as being criticized for having a cesarean. I had a doctor tell me I could never have a vaginal birth after my first c-section. I got a second opinion and read medical studies and decided to ignore that doctor and go ahead with a VBAC. That doesn't mean I am selfish or didn't care about my child.
Our c-section rate is very high and criticism of that is well warranted. Certainly you don't believe that 1 out of every 3 births in the US needs to be done by c-section, right? C/s carry some serious risks that women are not often adequately informed of, like a 3x risk of maternal death and a significant increase in the risk of placental problems in future pregnancies, including placenta accreta, which is a life-threatening complication. Those issues should be addressed. It's a real problem that many women are not given a choice to have a vaginal delivery even when it is safe, like in the case of VBAC. When organizations like the NIH and ACOG express concern about our high cesarean rates and access to vaginal birth, maybe just maybe it is a real problem and not just something invented by crazy natural birthers.
Quite frankly, if someone does not realize that our c-section rate is driven by issues that have nothing to do with science and medicine, they are naive.
I think because a c/s is a major surgery and many people are very nervous about that. I also think that many women feel like their bodies should have been able to do this naturally and couldn't. I felt like that when I first found out that my DD was breech and would have to have a c/s.
That being said, I got over being upset about having a c/s, probably more because I had time to mentally prepare for it and had a relatively easy experience. I am actually quite grateful that the option exists, because my DD and I might not be here otherwise.
I agree that if it is necessary, then it is not a bad thing. It's great that we have the option, instead of putting women and babies at risk for complications and even death during birth. I hope that women don't put themselves and their children in danger just to avoid a c/s. But I do know that there is often a feeling of disappointment or resentment for some women if they are unable to deliver naturally. And those feelings, to me, are completely normal.
I had an emergency c section and I am probably still a little upset about it because there is a part of me that is unsure about whether my doctor rushed to that option when another doctor might have waited. In the end it doesn't matter so much because it turned out just fine - healthy mom, healthy baby - and that is the true goal.
But also I have no idea if it would have also been fine had we stuck it out another hour before turning to the surgery.
I was never one of those who, during my pregnancy, felt like I wanted the "excitement of a vaginal birth" because honestly they both sound pretty horrid to me. I mostly was afraid of the recovery taking over the entire amount of my limited maternity leave. But when I DID end up with the C Section...even though everyone is healthy, I still feel a little disappointed. I think I did feel maybe like my body should have been able to do it and I don't fully understand why it didn't work.
That is the thing,though, that make deciding between c section and vaginal very hard sometimes. There are a lot of gray areas out there. Whether there is time to discuss the option because its in response to a pregnancy issue or if it's in response to an emergency that comes up during delivery, even different, highly qualified doctors, will respond differently, and it will be reasonable for them to do so.
But I 100% agree with the whole spirit of your post. Whether someone is going vaginal or c section, home birth or hospital, us moms need to be kind to one another and not make blanket condemnations that are not helpful to anyone.
THIS! And thank you for your vent. I feel the same way.
well, I think c sections are out of control in the united states. Liability makes doctors scared, and they are more likely to suggest a c section if they THINK there may be a problem (big baby, "overdue" at 40 weeks, things like that).
I don't think anyone should make you feel badly about having a c section. No Mom should ever be made to feel that way, unless you are the celebrity camp of "too post to push" and just elect for the c section right away. That is disregarding your baby's health, IMO.
I wanted a natural birth and never anticipated the need for a c section. It was terrible and I hope I can VBAC if I am lucky to ever get pregnant again. And if anyone was to make me feel badly, you bet they would get an earful.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
At my first OB appointment I asked how many c/s she does a year. Her % was low enough that I felt confident she wasn't going to schedule a c/s to fit in her schedule. My thought is that she went to medical school, I read some stuff online. I'm going to go ahead and trust the DR over what I read online/books. Now if she was pushing something I don't know about, I would want to look into and not blindly agree just because she's a dr.
I think and this is not an all the time thing, but I feel that some people spend more time planning/researching their birth instead of researching their OB. I had a gyno for several years, but once I got pregnant I didn't feel she was the best fit for me. So I started looking around and found my current OB.
I am with a great clinic and hospital that they make sure inductions and c-sections are solely being done for medical purposes. I am all for c-sections that are for those reasons but I disagree with people who want them done to plan around their schedules or b/c they're "tired" of pregnancy at 37 weeks.
My induction was done because of GD and hypertension issues at 39+1 weeks. After 8 hrs the baby hadn't come down and I was stuck at an 8. My doc allowed me to push to see if I could help her down but she wouldn't budge and that's when she seen my LO was showing heart rate flucuations. At that point they said c-sec looked safest. I was at peace with it. When we got her out she was 9.6 lbs - and though people do vaginal all the time with larger babies my body wasn't allowing her to come down.
I agree though - people shouldn't make you feel bad because of the decision you and your doctor make. If you have a c-sec or induction because of a medical reason people should view it just as that and not throw it in your face that you didn't get to experience a vaginal birth or natural birth.
I just had twins, and if I had it to do or I would have gotten a c-sec immediately when my water broke. I feel like I bought into the "vaginal birth is best" point of view, and I really wanted to try vaginal delivery. It turns out I had pre-eclampsia (though no one told me until AFTER), which caused abription of one twin's placenta and an emergency c-sec. I and my baby almost died because I opted to try for a vaginal delivery. Her tests show that she will probably have mild CP. If I have another baby, I am getting a c-sec. I was almost fully recovered from the surgery in less than 2 weeks, but my daughter will be paying for my decision for years.
Vent away. But the big deal is that what you've experienced isn't the same for everyone. I didn't get to my due date, go into labor or have the motherly hormones afterwards that prepare you for motherhood. I had no participation in delivering my child, a big blue sheet in my face, someone digging around in my belly and a baby I didn't feel was really mine for weeks. And I want to know where the hell are all these people who demonize c/s. I've yet to meet one. When I wanted to have the baby at home with a MW I actually had people ask, "You can't do that, what if you need a c-section?" Seriously. One of the reasons I wanted to stay home was to avoid a c/s and here they are expecting one. It's the anticipated result around here. That doesn't bother me one bit - people can have their babies however they want - EXCEPT that c/s are so common it's hard for us who do NOT want to be cut open and seperated from our children unnaturally to not have to endure that.
Even the best drs can exagerate the emergent nature of birth. In fact most aren't trained to deal with natural birth. They know medicalized birth with medications, intervention and problems. They are specialized in spotting and correcting dangerous conditions during birth. Which is great if you need it. I did and appreciate it. But anything can be deemed not worth the risk by an ob during labor. C/s can take care of the whole show within 20 minutes rather than a days worth of labor worrying if mama is going to sue them if she's not happy in the end. I love my dr. I trusted him and when he said c/s I said ok. We both did what we thought was best for my child and it turns out it was. I still don't like that I had one though and it is a big deal to me.
The truth is, c-sections are done so often now, they couldn't have all been medically necessary, an emergency, or what was truly best for the mother and baby. That being said, why would everyone trust their doctor into thinking it is the best thing possible to do? Since we all know that a lot of them weren't necessary, why would we all assume one is necessary just because they mention it? A lot of the time doctors prefer to do them because it makes their lives easier. A lot of the time people worry about your baby being too big, and they baby is perfectly able to come out naturally.
There is nothing wrong with having a women attempt to give birth vaginally, then if it isn't working, go for the c-section... That doesn't mean the woman is being unsafe, it means that she is seeing how her body actually handles it, as there is no way to guarantee how her body will decide to give birth. The doctor may be extremely qualified, but he is ultimately making assumptions, and no one really knows how things could go.
You are right-no one knows how it would go..including you. Honestly the above statement is part of the problem. You are making an assumption about 1) the doctor, 2) the reason and 3) the patient. With no prior knowledge of any of it you have just made a huge assumption. Are you an OB? Do you deliver babies/take care of their mothers? How in the world can you make the claim ' Since we all know that a lot of them weren't necessary...' I totally understand there have been studies etc and that the rate in the USA is higher than other places but seriously? Qualify it as your opinion/understanding not some BS 'I read something on the interwebs so I know what I am talking about' 'fact'. Many of these studies don't make a distinction of the reason/kind of section the woman has-just if they have had one or not.
'why would everyone trust their doctor into thinking it is the best thing possible to do?'
Really?!
Quite frankly, if you DON'T trust your doctor you didn't do your due diligence and can't really complain about your treatment since you didn't care enough to pick one you trusted. If you take issue with their practice, philosophy etc then pick a different doctor/midwife!
'There is nothing wrong with having a women attempt to give birth vaginally, then if it isn't working, go for the c-section...'
And YEAH THERE IS! If there wasn't don't you think every birth would be this way? I bet the moms out there with placenta previa, BP or cardiac problems etc would strongly disagree with you. No woman should have to hear this-weather you intended it or not that statement comes off as 'well, they didn't even try...' Not every woman wants to risk permanent disability or death to herself or her baby just because some section of society has decided they know how every woman 'should' give birth.