Best friend vent

krismott25

How do i nicely tell my best friend to shut the f up!?! Every single damn time i talk to her she reminds me of how i shoudl watch what i eat, and how i should exercise, and how i should continue to work until i fall over because "twins are so expensive." i should mention she is single, has f'd up every single relationship she has ever had, even slept with a guy the day before his wedding....with his bride in the next room. i love her but she really has no business telling me what to do. last i checked she's never been preg. tonight at dinner she called me and i said i was stuffing my face  (obviously exaggerating, i was eating the same volume as a normal person). she said remember what the doctor said, you have to watch what you eat, i said yea 30 lbs probably won't happen, and she said its nice to always have a goal. i can't take it!!!!! yes she is a Physicians Assistant but i swear when she tells me to do something health wise i do the opposite. should i send her an email? i don't want to be mean because i know she has best intentions but she truely has the worst delivery. one of those people who feels the need to share every opinion she has every had. so frustrated. any advice will be welcomed. winny part now over.

mars724

I have some less than supportive friends also, I say keep your distance for a while from those who don't make you feel better about yourself. You'll be self conscious enough, no matter what shape you're in, a multiples pregnancy takes a toll on the body.

it's ignorance, most people don't know what it's like to have a multiples pregnancy. they just don't really understand.

 

adacopeach

If she's your best friend, I would think an email might be a little too impersonal.  Ideal, for me would be if you can meet her in person for a coffee/smoothie and just talk about it.  If meeting in person isn't an option, I would call her.  Both of my Bfriends would get their feelings hurt with a candid discussion because most girls do, but it would be much better to do that, then to let it fester within you..making you not want to be around her.  I would start off by saying "You know how much I love you and I KNOW how much you love me.  I appreciate your tips and insight coming from your medical background.  However, I am aware of what and what I shouldn't be doing.  I am cooking babies in here and until you exerpience that you'll never really know what its like.   I don't know about you KRISMOTT25, but I get ill when I don't eat every 2-3 hours and an apple/string cheese doesn't do the trick, like it use to pre-babies.  Perhaps, you can call up this experience.

I would just be as sweet as sugar and explain to her how much it hurts your feelings because it feels like she is judging you.....which you don't need right now.  In the future, if you would like her advice on your pregnancy, you'll ask for it. 

Good luck and let us know how it goes!!!!  By the way, I didn't see how far along you are and how many babies you have.  However, but for most people having twins they should/will gain more than 30 lbs.

krismott25

adacopeach:

By the way, I didn't see how far along you are and how many babies you have.  However, but for most people having twins they should/will gain more than 30 lbs.

thanks for the good advice. she lives in a different state so i can't see her but i will call her. i am 10 weeks with twins. my doctor said he only wanted me to gain 25-30 lbs. i just laughed at him. and yes i feel nasty if i'm not eating every 2 hours. thanks again!

adacopeach

Congrats, on your two little beans!!  From about 7 weeks until 15 or so, I literally had to eat every two hours like clock work or I would get violently ill.  I would start the day with a huge bagel w/ cream cheese before I would even get out of bed or I would get sick.  My doctor said to eat what you can keep down and the babies will get what they need.  Have you picked up Dr.Luke's book "what to expect when expecting multiples??"  If so, I would......  Some people don't like the book because it does recommend gaining more weight than some doctors, like yours, says to.  However, I really like some of the science behind SOME of the recommendations.  If nothing else, I think that it will give you some good guidelines and recipes that you can follow.  Not to mention, it helped me to not beat up on myself so bad about my weight gain. 

I don't know what your body type is or what your BMI (body mass index) was before babies, but 25 lbs is what the recommended gain is for the average person with ONE baby!