Attachment Parenting
Back problems, tantrums, and Music Together
DS is 15 months old and pushing 30 pounds. I have terrible back pain issues due to a bulging disk in my lower back. At home and during controlled outings I have our rountines down enough to not hurt myself, but we just started a music together class. The class consists of a room full of parents and kids, loud music, and in general, a lot is going on. DS is allowed to wander during the class, but even in this room where there isn't much to get him into trouble he finds a way. My first thought about parenting him in this situation would be to choose my battles because it is not an environment that is easy to talk or redirect in. So, he does things like go after the ipod that plays the music, go after another mother's camera that was set down... he was putting some extra intstruments away during a song, which I was letting him do, but then he took one out of another kid's hands to put it away.... The only thing I can think of to do is pick him up and remove him from the situation because talking and explanation can't happen because it is loud and crazy in there. He shrieks and then throws himself back in my arms and KILLS my back in the process. I did walk outside with him once to talk with him, but it seems like once we get out there he isn't clear about what he did to be removed from the class. I need some suggestions on what to do with him in this particular environment. The teachers say it's fine, but he is hurting me and I'm starting to feel like I have the one kid that can't be controlled.
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Re: Back problems, tantrums, and Music Together
I go to music together too! As far as the ipod goes - don't worry about it. It's the teacher's responsibility to make sure it's sitting in a place where a 15 month old can't reach it! I'm surprised she has it down low! I would pretend I didn't see him grab it one time and let him change the song. The teacher will then realize her mistake and move it to a better location. OR you can talk to the teacher before the class to see if there is a better location for it out of reach.
For taking another kid's instrument, give the other kid a replacement instrument or give the one your kid took back and give your DS a replacement. When giving the replacement simply tell him the instrument he took was so-in-so's instrument.
Going after the camera - take his hand and redirect him elsewhere.
I don't think taking him out of the class is teaching him anything. From my experience, Music Together is pretty laid back (have been in it a year now) and we just go with the flow. DD1 has taken other kid's instruments a number of times but I handle is like I mentioned above. Don't pick him up if it's going to hurt your back. He'll learn soon enough.
By the way - what CD are you guys listening to this semester? I'm just wondering if it's the same at all locations. We are listening to "Bells".
We did Music Together the last session. (couldn't do it this session because of travel, but will do it again next session - we love it)
Our teacher took the lead with "discipline" and was very gentle and awesome. LO was ~ 15 months when we started and had a really hard time giving up the instruments when it was time. The teacher would bring the box over, and if LO wouldn't put it in, she would say "ok, whenever you are ready you can bring it up or we can try again later" Lo would keep it for a while, and eventually give it up. The teacher said some kids just need to hang onto it for longer, and she wasn't into making them give an instrument up if they weren't ready. If it was something "dangerous" like a stick, she would trade them.
I wonder if you can get your teacher in on helping? By the end of the session, LO would give up the instrument at the normal time, just like every other kiddo.
Our teacher also helped with gentle discipline with most other students and our class was very free form. She help redirect kids. IMO the class is supposed to be fun for kids as well as parents. If it's not, I think you should talk to the teacher about your concerns.