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3rd Trimester
marital problems
Why do I feel like the only one having marital problems. Sucks to be this pregnant and worried your husband is going to leave you. Anyone dealing with pre-partum non-baby related depression?
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Re: marital problems
Hard to help or even know where to start without details. Depression and your fear about your husband leaving you are not necessarily related - though it makes some sense...
But nice second post. MUD?
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Having a baby is one of the most stressful life events, so even if it's other things you're fighting over, the baby stress is definitely making it worse.
And, in case it helps, I know you're not the only one having a hard time.
I am guessing she didn't want to post this under her usual nest name, check out her screen name.
So Tasty, So Yummy
Mahaha right...hey we're lucky I caught the 2 posts thing - and I thought I was good...
Talk to your husband about how you're feeling. I've read that it can be a common fear for some pregnant women. Starting a family means some of the dynamic of your marriage will be changing - which can be a scary thought. I've always found that communication is the key. Maybe if DH knows how you're feeling he can help you address some of the insecurities you're experiencing. Men & women process things totally differently. Sometimes when I think DH & I are on totally seperate pages, we sit down and talk about things, and it turns out we're going through the same thing, just expressing it differently & sometimes have to re-evaluate how we're communicating with each other.
Good luck!!
Pre-pregnancy issues arise every once in a while. I'm not a talker, its really difficult for me. Much to my relief, he suggested counseling (me suggesting it would likely have sent him into a defensive shell).
PAGAS is correct, sadly not MUD. I'm a regular poster on the board, just created another account because I use my username for everything and I don't need this coming up in google searches.
In this case the depression and problems with husband are related.
Keep in mind its unrelated to the pregnancy really, there are some issue with preparing for the baby... but that's not the underlying issue.
He says that he loves me, I can't do much but trust him on that. But I don't think he likes me. When we were dating we were a great couple. We used to be able to have a great time together, and had a great sex life. For the past few years, he says I never initiate it and it makes him feel unattractive and unwanted. So apparently thats a good reason to remove himself physically from me. Keep in mind I've never said no to him. I tried to explain to him that affection and sex are two different things. Theres so much more but i can't even organize my thoughts.
Anyway, this fight comes up every few months, but for the past few weeks I rarely get a hug, quick pecks before bed and when we leave the house. but the past couple of weeks he's been so distant from me that i'm afraid there is or will be someone else.
What pains me the most is that I love him too much. Completely head over heels devoted. And I feel like an idiot because I'm a smart, sensible woman who shouldn't have to face this.
I'm soo sorry you are going through this..... my Dh is not a talker either, but if it wasn't for counseling we wouldn't be together today... There was some issues of trust in hte last year or so... and when I found out i was pg.. it was hard on both of us... but we decided that this baby deserved two parents who were commited to each other.
I strongly suggest that you go to counseling so that you can let your Dh know your feelings... ((( hugs)))
I hope things work out for the best for you and your family.. if you want to talk more about counseling please let me know.
Thank you so much. I found a counselor (male, few years older than my husband with two young kids...I'm figuring he'll be able to relate more and be more open) and sent my husband the website to get the go ahead to make the appointment. My biggest concern, and I'm sure for him too, is that we'll go, things'll get better but not be able to keep the changes.
It's hard for me not to put all the blame on him, but Lord knows I want to. I want someone to tell him he's being an ass and he should be as grateful for me and everything I do for him as I am of him. Seriously, wouldn't any other guy have thought he'd feel lucky that I've never said no, not even throughout this pregnancy. He admitted that its not even that I *never* initiate... but rarely, maybe two or three times per month.
I wasn't too keen on the idea either... thinking that we wouldn't be able to keep up with the changes.. but you will be amazed....
GL!