When do I...?

HisWifeJenni

I'm so new to all this twin-stuff and have so many questions about everything. I really have no idea when to start anything.

When do I:

sign up for birthing classes?
start designing the nursery?
start picking names?
tell family/friends?
start gaining weight? (I haven't gained any so far, is that bad?)
does this motherly instinct thing kick in?

Thanks so much ladies. You guys are awesome!

pea-kay

sign up for birthing classes? - i don't know, i didn't take them since i knew i was having a c/s
start designing the nursery? - i started gathering ideas before i was even pregnant. :P didn't start actual work until 16 weeks.
start picking names? - started gathering names when i first found out i was pregnant, didn't finalize them until they were a day or two old.
tell family/friends? - as soon as we found out it was triplets (7w3d, even though my OB suggested we wait until 12 weeks.)
start gaining weight? (I haven't gained any so far, is that bad?) - i had no m/s, so...right away.
does this motherly instinct thing kick in? - for me it wasn't until i had them home from the nicu for a week or two.

HisWifeJenni

Thank you. I probably sound like an idiot. 

Missa_g

sign up for birthing classes? My OBs office signs you up around 20w.  No multiple classes are offered in our area so I don't think I'll be taking one.  We will be taking a baby care basics and breast feeding class.

start designing the nursery? Whenever you want.  We've been cleaning it out and will start buying things this weekend.

start picking names? We had names picked already.

tell family/friends? Immediate family right away.  Everyone else at 13w.  It just depends on your comfort level.

start gaining weight? (I haven't gained any so far, is that bad?) How far along are you?  I'm up 20lbs at 20w, 6 in first tri and 14 since.

does this motherly instinct thing kick in?  I assume so.

Hunter22

Never took birthing classes, not with the twins or with my DS. Didn't really see the point (had a normal delivery with my son, c-section with the twins).

Nursery - For me I needed to know the sexes (around weeks 14-16 because we saw the MFM so much with mono-di we were able to tell early) but still looked up until then

Always talked about names from day one, it is just fun.

I waited until 13 weeks because I had a miscarriage 2 months prior and especially with the twins I was afraid of saying anything too soon.

I gain right away, even with hyperemesis. Then I lost it, then gained again. I only gained 35 pounds total and my girls were five pounds and five and a half pounds at 34weeks6days. A lot of people will tell you that you need to gain a ton of weight with twins, there is a book written by Dr. Luke that discusses the benefits of it. I suggest the book because there is a lot of good information in there. I personally believe it doesn't matter. I make big babies, my diet had nothing to do with it.

I think it is different for everyone. I felt really sad when I first had my son because I didn't have that motherly instinct and instant love the second I saw him. I was fascinated by him but it took months for me to have that - I will die for this child - kind of love. Don't get me wrong, I adored him, but there is this romanticized view that the second kids come out you fall in love. Some people do, some take some time to get there. Some have PPD and it is nothing to be ashamed of. I read somewhere that PPD is higher with moms of multiples. There is a lot of overwhelming things going on when you have them, particularly if they are early, so a lot of emotions to deal with. My girls are six months now and I think they are just the coolest little cuties and sooooo much fun. 

I was 9weeks 2 days when we found out it was twins. I know how you feel about being overwhelemed and the financials are just daunting. It does come together and work out, promise. It's okay to freak out, we all did and to some degree still do, but as with everything it gets easier and the benefit in the end are these two incredible little people.

s270453

I didnt do birthing classes.  Im sure it would have been ok, but my delivery went just fine without them.

I would have everything you want to do yourself with nersary done by 28 weeks ish.  If you are going to have PTL or be on bedrest it will happen around now or later.

I wanted to call my babies by their name, not babyA or baby B, so we figured out names fairly quickly.

We told family right away...around 7 weeks.

I didnt gain any weight till 18 weeks, so dont sweat the weight.

I have always felt very motherly, so always had the instinct I guess.  I think most moms dont get it till their baby(s) are home from the hospital. 

ougrad1

-Never signed up for birth classes.

-It is way to much fun not to start thinking about the nursery now.  You can start purchasing when you find out the sexes.

-Start throwing around names NOW.

-I told family and close friends from the get go...I needed support.

-I started gaining most of my weight around 22 ish weeks.

-The motherly instinct will kick in at some point....it's just so hard to wrap your head around the fact that you are actually going to have a baby (or two) your first go around. 

JennyAnne022776

First of all, congratulations!!

HisWifeJenni:

I'm so new to all this twin-stuff and have so many questions about everything. I really have no idea when to start anything.

When do I:

sign up for birthing classes?  I took a c/s class, a multiples class, a BFing class, and a hospital tour.  We signed up around 20 weeks or so for most of these.  I wanted to attend them on the earlier side, rather than when I was 34+ weeks pregnant with two.

start designing the nursery?  I started throwing around ideas in my head the minute we heard it was twins.  I started in earnest when we found out it was two boys at 19 weeks.

start picking names?  We started on this immediately and firmed up the names once we found out it was boys.

tell family/friends?    We told them as part of their Christmas gift.  I was about 7 weeks at the time.

start gaining weight? (I haven't gained any so far, is that bad?)  I think I started noticing around week 10-11.  Other people started noticing when I was about 13 weeks or so.  I had no morning sickness at all.

does this motherly instinct thing kick in?  Yes!

Thanks so much ladies. You guys are awesome!

nichellemybelle

You should start doing all that stuff whenever you feel like it. There are no guidelines.

klr210

HisWifeJenni:

I'm so new to all this twin-stuff and have so many questions about everything. I really have no idea when to start anything.

When do I:

sign up for birthing classes? I took lamaze with DD1 in my 3rd tri, nothing with the twins
start designing the nursery? after finding out the babies sexes, unless you're team green. really, it is just fun to look at nursery stuff and get ideas
start picking names? we discussed ideas and settled on names for all of our kids pretty quick after finding out sexes. and we shared them, but this is also different for everyone
tell family/friends? personal decision. With DD1 it was at like 10 weeks. With the twins it was 5 weeks for pregnancy, 9 weeks for twins and we shared right away
start gaining weight? (I haven't gained any so far, is that bad?) no it's not bad you haven't gained weight yet as your babies weigh almost nothing -- I am not a believer in the 20 by 20 rule myself. I didn't really gain until after the 20 week mark myself
does this motherly instinct thing kick in? It evolves. you don't wake up one day knowing how to be a MoM. It will start now and it's manifested in how you take care of yourself. Choosing to rest, eat healthy, etc.. that is IMO a motherly instinct where you're caring for your unborn babies and doing what you need to do to meet their in utero needs. Same thing when you have the babies, first your instincts will help you learn your babies' cues and cries, then it will grow along with your child. As they become more complex your instincts will evolve. It's a process, and a pretty remarkable one at that! 

Thanks so much ladies. You guys are awesome!

natb22

sign up for birthing classes? I took one at 24w preg, but it was useless, I wish we would have had a multiples class. I did enjoy that DH came along with me
start designing the nursery? We didn't get it completely done until my 3rd tri, in fact I think thats when we started it. Procrastinated a little I suppose!
start picking names? We waited to start throwing ideas around until we knew the sexes, and didn't decide until like 32w
tell family/friends? That you are preg? Whenever you are comfortable telling them. I told my close family and friends right away
start gaining weight? (I haven't gained any so far, is that bad?) I only gained 4lbs in the first few months, and ended up gaining 38lbs total. Read Dr. Luke's book if you are concerned about weight gain.
does this motherly instinct thing kick in? It will!

LaLaLindsay

Thanks for asking these questions! I'm having twins too and have the same due date! Super excited and a little freaked out too, but that's probably normal!