I am dreading relying on others (Rant)

clarks415

I am NOT looking forward to being pretty useless for at least two weeks after the c-section. I can't stand looking at all of the things that need to be done and having to ask others to do them. Right now my MIL is living with us, but is like having another child. She doesn't cook, clean or anything. So that's one more person I have to clean up after. It's gonna drive me nuts!!! I already told DH he better give her a "job" in the house so she can be somewhat useful and lower my stress level.

Anyone else dreading the first few weeks of recovery? 

sabrina69barnes

When it came to doing things my recovery honestly wasn't that bad. It was painful to get in and out of bed so I had to take it very slowly but once I was up and moving I was ok. I hate people doing things for me so I insisted on trying to be as normal as possible. I was exhausted because I had a new baby and I'm sure even more so because of the pain meds so I slept a lot. When I was awake I was still able to make simple meals. I had DH carry the laundry downstairs for me but I was still able to put it in and had the kids help put it in the dryer. DH would take it out, carry it upstairs, and the kids would put away their stuff as usual. DH did have to do ours. I was able to sweep the floor and had DH and MIL vaccum. I could drive after a week. I was able to do dishes. I wasn't able to bend over to put things in the diswasher but DH and MIL did that too.

My MIL lived with us for a few months when DS2 was born while she was looking for a new place. She can be helpful but also doesn't do things the way I would or always clean to my standards and normally this would bother me. Right after having DS2 I was so tired the first two weeks that I honestly didn't notice things the way I usually would and by the time I did I was able to take care it if myself.

seamco12

I felt the same way. One thing that helped was making freezer meals ahead of time. That way, while I was recovering. I could say. DH take this out if the freezer put it in the oven in 45 minutes, done. It made me feel better. I may not have gotten up, but I knew I had 'made' dinner.

JENandJEH

After the first 3 or 4 days, I was moving around pretty well and could do just about everything with a tiny bit of assistance.  I moved a lot slower than normal, but I could sort laundry, have someone take the basket to the laundry room for me/carry it to the couch, and then fold it myself.  I was able to make simple meals, clean up the kitchen, etc. 

 

I definitely took it slow and made sure not to overdo it but I wasn't chained to the couch/bed for 2 weeks and don't plan to be this time around either unless there are some serious complications. 

Daisy22

I'm with the others once I got home I was pretty much doing most things I usually do. I didn't vacuum or do hard cleaning but everything I could do just maybe a little slower. By week 2 I was taking care of both boys by myself b/c dh went back to work.

RoxBride

Once I was home from the hospital, I was pretty good at getting things done. Had no problems making a long trip to WalMart, making small meals, fixing a sandwich. I didn't push the vacuum for a week or so, but it wasn't like I couldn't throw some toilet bowl cleaner in the toilet or wipe down a counter as needed.

I just didn't need to rely on others all that much. Just spent lots of time chilling on the couch with baby and doing things as needed, resting a lot inbetween tasks.

cottonlily84

Yeah MIL would have to get off her duff and help out!  I'm very territorial about stuff and like to do things myself my way.  I thought I would hate depending on others too but I was so sore and wiped out afterward I would've been too exhausted to refuse anyway.  Turns out the help was *nice* and I welcomed about all of it.  The only time I got a little pissy was when my mom started edging into the privacy area by letting herself in with the spare key when she came over.  But mom and MIL brought food, helped clean, did laundry, helped DH out, tended to our pets, etc and it was all appreciated.  Don't get used to it though; it sure doesn't last long!

harmonicbabe26

I was pretty against my mom coming to stay with us even before I knew I would need a c/s.... and I stand by that decision. She would drive me nuts and I'm sure that would make recovery slower.

I will take full advantage of the 7 day hospital stay I am entitled to. Hopefully after that my hubby will be able to stay at home with us for a few days and then it should be ok... I hope!!

zxe1106

I'm a FTM and also dreading the helplessness thought.  My husband had several major surgeries a few months ago and his mother would come over every day to help while I was at work. I'm glad she helped him, but then I would come home and there would be groceries in my fridge and I would never know where my pans were and the laundry would be in weird places (plus I loathe the thought of another person other than my DH touching the clothes that cover my private areas.).  It caused me more stress to have the lack of privacy and the disorganization than was helpful.  

I'm a little bit more optimistic about activity while I'm recovering after reading some of the other posts here.  I know there will be pain and difficulty (I've had other abdominal surgery before, but not as major), but I think I'm pretty good at judging when I just need to rest.  I know if my MIL came over, she would want to just hold the baby, even though what I would really need is help with the other household chores.  But it would drive me crazy to have her do things like before.  With my personality, I'll have less stress sitting in a messy house all day I think which is more important to me healing faster. 

uncharch7

Honestly, the only thing I had issues with was getting up out of bed. Other than that, once I got home from the hospital I was moving a little slower than normal but could do everything. 

michnthecity

Recovery has been a pleasant surprise.  We left the hospital a day early because I was able to take several walks the second day so we didn't need to spend a third night in the hospital.  I swear, if that hospital bed were more comfortable, I probably would've stayed longer.  We are one week since c section today and have made several trips out of the house to the store, out to eat, etc. (husband drives due to Vicodins).  But I have put his car seat in and out of the car no prob.  Just take it slow.  Even bowel movements haven't been painful like I thought they'd be!

zxe1106

I posted earlier about how I agree about not looking forward to the helplessness after surgery.  I just wanted to give a positive update that hopefully will comfort you.  I had my c/s 6 days ago and I have had a wonderful experience thus far.  I am very sensitive to medication, so the day of I was sort of out of it with the different side effects of my spinal and following meds (nothing out of the ordinary, just some nausea, itchiness and mild dizziness).  But starting the next morning, I was feeling well enough to walk on my own, and have really not needed much assistance at all.  Obviously I don't lift heavy things, but I am able to get up out of chairs, bed, etc without help most of the time.  My sister has stopped by to help with a few things and my husband has taken over what I normally take care of.  The pain has not taken over my life either.  Overall I am having the most wonderful post surgical experience I think I could have.  Hope this gives you hope about your experience!