An Actual Craigslist posting: Made my day :) — The Bump
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An Actual Craigslist posting: Made my day :)

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD: ... Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse... and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head...isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you...but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life...Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi, Alex

 

I give this guy two thumbs up

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Re: An Actual Craigslist posting: Made my day :)

  • m/c @ 6 weeks - March 2013 
    m/c @ 5 weeks - April 2013 
    m/c @ 7 weeks - December 2013, D & C 12/27/2013 
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  • I saw this posted on a facebook page and it made my day when I read it.....Thanks for bringing me back to reality
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  • If only this would have been true.  Totally hilarious and awesome!

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  • dang, I wanted it to be true.  Although in reality stealing the robber's stuff could actually get you in trouble regardless that he tried to rob from you.
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  • If it had ended after he called the mom then it would have been more believable and a lot cooler. The rest of it was so stupid and horrible that I would be ashamed to know this marine. Thank goodness it's just made up chain mail.
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  • image MilMom2B:
    If it had ended after he called the mom then it would have been more believable and a lot cooler. The rest of it was so stupid and horrible that I would be ashamed to know this marine. Thank goodness it's just made up chain mail.

    Agreed. Stealing from a thief still makes you a thief.

    It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of ANNABEL LEE; And this maiden she lived with no other thought Than to love and be loved by me. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image BFP: 9/24/11 EDD: 6/5/12 Natural MC: 11/6/11
  • Haha! That's great! :)
    Diagnosed with PCOS, TTC since 11/2010,
    Cycle #1(47 days) ~ Natural - BFN
    Cycle #2 (36 days) ~ Clomid - BFN
    Cycle #3 (46 days) ~ Clomid - BFN
    Cycle #4 (42 days)~ Gonal-F and Ovidrel - BFN
    Cycle #5 (46 days) ~ Gonal-F and Ovidrel - Cancelled cycle due to hyper-stimulation
    Cycle #6 (31 days)~ Gonal-F and Ovidrel - Cancelled AGAIN due to hyper-stimulation :(
    Cycle #7 (50 days) ~ IUI #1 (with letrolzole & ovidrel) - BFN
    Cycle #8 (32 days) ~ BC pills - obviously BFN
    Cycle #9 (20 days) ~ IVF #1 (10/2011): 23 eggs retrieved, 20 inseminated,16 fertilized! 0 transferred. All embryos frozen due to severe OHSS
    Cycle #10 (44 days) ~ BC pills, ovaries given chance to rest
    Cycle #11 ~ FET #1 on 1/20/2012, transferred two 3-day blastocysts, refroze 1 embryo (now left with 11 frozen) 2/2/12 Beta = less than 0.5 BFFN :(
    FET #2 March 30, 2012 BFN
    FET #3 April 2013, BFN
    IVF #2 (08/23/13): 20 eggs retrieved, 16 inseminated,13 fertilized! 12 grew to 5 day blasts, biopsied then frozen
    PGD of 12 blasts: 12 abnormal, 4 normal embryos
    FET #4 October 16, 2013, transferred two 5-day blasts
    10/24 HPT - BFP!!!!
    10/25 BETA = 302
    10/27 BETA = 972!!
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