RP: Has your child been injured with a babysitter?
jshf
member
DS1 was playing with the babysitter today and she pulled him up by his hands and he ended up dislocating his elbow. It is called nursemaid's elbow. The doctor was able to fix it and he was fine a couple minutes later.
What I am debating now is wether or not to keep using this babysitter. She just started with us a couple of weeks ago, and she has two children of her own, and has watched other children. I don't think that she did it intentionally, but DH and I both know that you aren't supposed to pick small children up with their hands because this can happen. DH feels that she should have known this and questions her competency. Plus he is a very anxious person and now doesn't feel comfortable leaving the kids alone with her.
I am torn because I do like her, but don't know her well. I also feel like there isn't a point in having a sitter if you can't trust her alone with the kids. Right now I am home, but was planning on going back to work part time. Are we overreacting? WWYD?
Re: RP: Has your child been injured with a babysitter?
I know that this is something that probably everybody knows, but it's still something that a lot of people do. I think the mentality is that it won't happen to them or they don't know anyone that it has happened to so it's not that big of a deal. Yes, it's a little irresponsible, but I don't necessarily think that makes her a bad baby sitter. I definitely don't think it makes her incompetent.
When I was in high school I was baby sitting and letting the little girl (about 4 or 5 years old at the time) climb up my legs and flip off while I held her hands. My family did it to me and I know hers did it b/c she came up to me and started doing it on her own. Anyway, she fell backwards and hit her head on the fireplace. I ended up calling her parents to come home b/c I thought she might need stitches (actually, I called my mom first and my mom called them b/c she thought it was a judgement call). They decided she was fine and went back out. I'm so glad they kept calling me to baby sit and never made me feel bad for it. But you can bet I never did that again with any of the kids that I baby sat for!
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I dislocated my own child's elbow, when she was just shy of 2 years old. DH was out of town and he didn't "fire" me when he returned.
Honestly, I had no idea that this was as common as it is before it happened and I can assure you that I wasn't playing roughly with DD when it happened. I was just holding her by the hands as we spun around the sidewalk on a lazy Sunday afternoon. All of a sudden, she was complaining of great pain and I was completely befuddled.
So, no, I would not fire someone over this.
My opinion: If you have a good feeling about her otherwise, I wouldn't stop using her just for this reason. She probably feels really terrible about it, and she'll probably be extra careful in the future because of this accident.
My son is in childcare 3 days/week, and there have been a few times he's gotten into accidents with other kids and has come home with bumps or scrapes. They're always up front with us about what happened, though. Every single bump or scrape has been documented and discussed with us (even the ones we wouldn't have even noticed otherwise!). My knee-jerk reaction was to worry that they weren't paying close enough attention to my son if he was falling and getting hurt. But in reality, they do a fine job of looking after him. He's just really fearless and because of that he falls a lot!
I realize your situation is different, since your LO was playing with his sitter and not with another child. I only relay my story to let you know that I completely understand your initial reaction.
I agree. If you like her otherwise, I would let it go. Maybe she really didn't know it's not a good idea. Just because it seems like common sense, doesn't mean everyone knows it. My dad was helping me walk up the stairs as a toddler and dislocated my shoulder. I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose.
I did not "know" this.
Instinct tells me that it's probably not a great idea to pull on small arms, but I have never heard of dislocated elbows from this and I have let LO swing about whilst holding my hand, so it absolutely could have happened to us, and I think I'm a pretty careful and caring Mum.
Obviously, now I have this info I will be more careful in future.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
I agree on this. It is her response that is important. When I was a nanny one of the kids got injured on my watch. I felt horrible and learned something more about accident prevention.
In all honesty--as a parent not a provider--accidents happen. Kids get LOTS of injuries. It is part of growing up and growing strong. Fear of litigation over accidents is what is leading to kids doing worksheets in preschool not playing and "safe" playgrounds where there is no challenge, mentally or physically. I know you are not talking about suing, but to fire someone over an accident that is somewhat of a normal "bump and bruise" of childhood (though certainly not optimal) doesn't sit right with me. An active sitter who plays and engages the child rather than someone who just sits there and watches is a good thing. But, that does come with some risk. That said, your family, your choice. You are the one who best understands the overall vibe.
More Green For Less Green
First and foremost...If you aren't comfortable..don't take your kids there. Second, I dislocated the elbow of a little girl I nannied for almost 16 years ago. She was holding my hand and fell down, and my instinct was to pull her up at the same time to stop her. I felt terrible, horrible, cried and all, but it was an accident. I wasn't pulling on her arms to swing her or pick her up, it was just a freak accident. They kept me for another 4 years
AND, I did it to my own son once and so did my hubby. I was simply pulling up his sleeve, you know, when you hold onto their wrist and pull the sleeve up? Well, that's all it took. And my hubby was just taking off our sons' coat and shook (GENTLY) the sleeve that was stuck on him and bam..it happened again. Dr. was not concerned at all, and actually showed us how to put it back in again. Said that once it happens one time they are more prone to it happening again. But, it never did happen again..Overall, go with your gut. It can happen to everyone but if your mama heart isn't at ease, you need to find somewhere else I think.
I didn't know that this was so common before another mother told me, in a really friendly tone, to be careful with DD, when we were in a cafe and I pulled her up just by the hands. The other mother had just been to the emergency room the previous night with her son after the dad had swung him around and he had dislocated his elbow. I talked to my doctor friend she was like "this happens all the time, one of the most common things with kids in the emergency room". I think it is a common mistake to do and not a 'deal breaker' if everything else is fine. I mean, I still have a hard time convincing/reminding DH to not pull DD in her hands only and I am not firing him :-) There is a fine line between careless injuries and actual simple mistakes that have a bad outcome (if you want to read about a scary incident, my DD fell down 19 marble steps a couple of months ago, I would definitely have fired myself for that! I have a blog post here: https://flybabybook.blogspot.com/2011/11/what-parents-fear.html)
My brother did it to his 3.5 yr old a few months ago. They were in the bouncy house and he grabbed his hand to help him get out.
Sometimes it just happens, no matter how gentle you are. She may have just stood him up from sitting and it was just the right angle. You didn't make it sound like he was standing up and she picked him up by his hands to swing him or anything.
I don't think that would make me trust her less. Maybe just talk to her and say that obviously his elbows are sensitive and to make a bigger effort to try to pick him up by his torso.
If it happened repeatedly, then maybe I would reconsider.
I didn't know either and I have two children and generally a lot of common sense. I am glad I read this post because I will also be more careful now that I know.
My dad managed to dislocate my sister's shoulder when she was a toddler (much the same way) and my mom didn't stop letting him watch the kid. 30+ years later, he did the same thing with my niece (actually, he was holding her hand and she twisted and leaped suddenly, so she kind of did it herself).
It can happen to anyone. It does not make the person that it happens to a bad babysitter/caretaker. Would you refuse to leave your child with your husband if this accidentally happened to him?
I'd take a more holistic approach and look at the whole of her child care abilities, and if this is the One Issue You Have Ever Had, then look past it.