What would you do?
I am new to the board so 1st off I would like to say hi. I have read many posts and I can relate to many.
My SD and I have had a pretty good relationship. We became even closer when she was living with us for 3months & I would wake up every morning cook her breakfast & drive her to school. Though due to an argument BM & FI had, she is no longer staying w/ us.
Our relationship to date is still ok, though not the way it used to be & since moving back home her attitude has totally changed.
Her mother is always telling her negative things about FI & telling her that I am taking her dad away from her so there are times she resents me. SD is continuously bring things up from the past that her mother has told her and has altered to her convenience to SD can be on her side or see her as a victim and Fi as a villain. Now SD & FI are continuously arguing about things that happened and didn?t happened in the past which just ends up w/ FI & I arguing because I just don?t want to hear it no more. I have told them both that when she is here we need to keep peace and cherish the 36hrs that she is here instead of her in her room crying & FI in our room aggravated. THAT HAS SOMEWHAT WORKED??SOMEWHAT?
Also her mother knows that FI & I are TTC and she is now telling my SD that when we become pregnant we will forget about her and treat her like 2nd fiddle. WHICH IS FALSE, because we would never treat her any differently than we do now. We have tried to reassure her about this though once we think we have finally gotten through to her she has to go hm and her mom starts feeding her all the negativity all over again. Which then SD is compelled to texting Fi and telling him that she wants to be an only child and she doesn?t want to share him w/ another baby. Fi being an only child and caretaker of his elderly dad has given her scenarios of how having a sibling is a blessing using himself as an example. Such as: That once his father passes away he has no one other than her and me. That having a sibling she will have someone when the day comes that he is his fathers age. Though she ultimately doesn?t care nor wants to hear it!
How would you handle this situation and what else would you do to try to try to convince her that our love for her would not change just because hopefully soon there will be a baby.
TIA
Re: What would you do?
We are normally suppose to have her every other weekend, though since SD was having difficulties with her school work and she can not help her because she does not speak english she agreed that SD can move in with us.
As far as BM knowning that we are TTC, SD told her that FI & I want to have a baby after over hearing a conversation we were having with my parents.
This. I also believe if you fuss TOO much, the child realizes that she's getting attention and babied and will continue to whine and cry about it to get love and affection. You have to walk a fine line.