CIO question

mssaint

We did modified ferber at about 7 or 8 months, and then again after a bout of teething. Then we hit a patch of sickness alternated with teething and then sickness again, and then teething and we dropped the idea of sleep training. On good nights, LO is nursed to sleep, and then wakes up at 5, then goes back down until about 7 after some nursing. On bad nights, he wakes up an additional time or two.

Right now, LO is teething molars and is miserable. His poor gums are so swollen and I can feel the molars under the gums. He jams whatever he can into his mouth to rub them and you can tell he's just so sad. 

I really want to try to get sleeping back on track, but I feel awful doing any sleep training while he's hurting or sick. But looking at the experience of the past 3-4 months, I feel like there isn't every going to be a stretch of time when he's not sick or teething. So when am I supposed to do it?

 

Hey Jellisy

DDs sleeping reset ever single time a new tooth came in.  We just let it be what it was while she was actually teething, then switched right back to the old routine in the teething breaks.  I should say, we eventually did that.  We let her get away with her new schedule for over 2 months (we also moved in that time so more than one thing was wacky) before we were more firm with her on getting back on the normal schedule.  

With DS I have just been reluctant to sleep train.  I think I've just been afraid he would wake DD and it would be a disaster.  That's going to change soon and once he is on his new schedule we will do the same as we did with DD.   

northernvabride

Don't have much experience with this, but wanted to provide sympathy.  I found that we let every little sniffle be a good reason why we should go in to soothe LOs instead of CIO, but then after about a week of being lax, we realized they were playing us, so we toughened up.  Obviously, getting teeth is a little different.  DD#2 is suddenly getting 4 teeth at once, after only having 7 teeth total at 20 months, so she has been having a hard time too this week.  Maybe let the teeth come in and then sick or not (if just a cold), try to do CIO again? 

umdbride

I try to go by how he seems during the day to determine if we should let him CIO or not.  If he's been generally happy and pretty close to his normal self, we let him fuss a bit and maybe escalate to an actual cry for a minute or two before going in. 

But, if he's been kind of down all day or we can tell he's generally not feeling like himself we don't CIO - most times we'll go in before the fussing gets to a cry, but we do wait a little to see if he'll put himself back to sleep when he's more "complaining" than anything. 

I know most CIO things say to be consistent about when you go in vs. when you don't, but so far this system has worked well for us.  DS just got over a cold and Sunday/Monday nights we were rocking him constantly and up often, but by Tuesday he went down drowsy but awake and didn't cry at all (I was a little shocked, I admit). 

RomeRomance06

If he's in pain, I would go soothe him. I know it's hard to tell but if you feel like he's fine once you go in there, he may just want your attention. That's what I noticed with DD. When she's in pain she doesn't stop crying when we go in there and rock her. We just rock her and rock her until she's so exhausted she just passes out or the medicine kicks in. If she just wants our attention she'll stop crying and if I bring out a book she'll play and laugh. After her first two teeth cut we had to do a few more nights of CIO to get her back on track, but she's right as rain now, until her next few teeth start coming in...

WinesNotWhines

Yeah, their sleep gets all out of whack any time they're sick (or teething). We provide more nighttime comfort while he needs it, and then we go back to the old routine. If he wakes up in the middle of the night and seems truly upset and is crying for more than 5 minutes or so, I still go in to check on him, offer him some water, and maybe a paci. But it's a very quick in-and-out unless he's sick.

Sofka

mssaint:

So when am I supposed to do it?

give him the boob and make him happy

 

drslizndan

sometimes a little ibuprofen goes a longgggg way. 

mssaint

Sofka:

mssaint:

So when am I supposed to do it?

give him the boob and make him happy

 

LOL. That's what I do. And he points at my boobs and laughs like Beavis and Butthead. Even in the middle of the night. 

umdbride

mssaint:

Sofka:

mssaint:

So when am I supposed to do it?

give him the boob and make him happy

 

LOL. That's what I do. And he points at my boobs and laughs like Beavis and Butthead. Even in the middle of the night. 

 

This cracks me up. DS does something similar and it makes me shake my head and say, "boys."

pixieprincss

I think you've hit the nail on one of the big oppositions to CIO--the idea that little people go through so much that leads to (what some schools of thought consider) developmentally appropriate night-waking--hunger, thirst, growth spurts, teething, separation anxiety, peeing, startling dreams (those may start soon), etc. Perhaps his daytime behavoir might give clues on if he has the "emotional toolkit" to self-soothe in the night through these things or if he needs help. Then you have to decide if soothing him is something that you and DH are willing to faciliate or if you want to go back to CIO or if there is another soothing idea you can think of.