Am I doing this right? Mom is all critical

courtneyklv

So my mom is staying with me and has never BF. I have gotten this...

 

1. "Baby is hungry..she keeps trying to 'eat' her hand..better feed her more. How much espressed milk did u feed her with a bottle? Oh, only 60ml..not enough..feed her more"

(I have said that babies like to play with their hands and maybe she wants pacifier and possibly isn't hungry after an hour) 

2. "How long was she latched? Did she get enough milk? Can you look up how much milk she may be getting? Maybe you should give her more with a bottle" (then proceeds to give her pumped milk with bottle)

(I have said there is no way for me to see if she got enough milk from my breast..no way to measure that.  If she is hungry she will let us know)

 

What do u think? 

 

Jelliebean1982

Dude.  Your mom needs to get out of your business.  Can you make her the diaper monitor?  The only way to know how much is going in is by tracking how much is going out.  Maybe if she's less involved in your boobs and more in your baby's butt it would make things a little less stressful for you?

juliedooley

In my experience moms are always critical! I had the opposite problem though. Both my mom and MIL were always like "is he hungry AGAIN? I don't think you need to feed him yet, hold him off"...said during his 3-week growth spurt, and sometimes if it had been less than 3 hours since he had last eaten because you know, apparently babies can tell time.

Do what feels right...you know your baby better than anyone else! If she's gaining OK and having good diapers, that's the best way to know if she's getting enough. "Enough" is different for every baby. That said, if she gets too much from a bottle she'll just spit it up anyway...you can't really overfeed a baby BM (one of the great things about it!)

Good luck!!!

courtneyklv

So what if I BF and baby stops...(maybe a sign that she is done?)  and then she is hungry in an hour and then drinks a whole bottle that my mom gives her?

 Would this be a sign that I didn't give her enough even though it was an hour AFTER she BF? 

I know you are 'suppose' to feed every 2-3 hours..but after an hour?  

Jelliebean1982

Eating every hour at a week old is totally normal.  They do that stuff.  They'll do it at growth spurts and in the evening especially.  As a breastfeeding mom you have to go with it, especially in these early weeks.  Your baby is building your supply and the more you nurse the better it will be.  Hang in there! 

courtneyklv

She also says I must wake baby every 3 hours to feed her when DH and I do not agree.  At night she does wake up to eat..2-4 hours..so we feel like its ok..

blu-eyedwife

courtneyklv:

So what if I BF and baby stops...(maybe a sign that she is done?)  and then she is hungry in an hour and then drinks a whole bottle that my mom gives her?

 Would this be a sign that I didn't give her enough even though it was an hour AFTER she BF? 

I know you are 'suppose' to feed every 2-3 hours..but after an hour?  

At that age it is entirely possibly your baby is hungry every hour.  They do a lot of growing and eating in those first few weeks and their stomachs are VERY small so it doesn't hold a lot.

HOWEVER, a baby has a natural need to suck - it's survival, it's how they eat.  So just because she's eating an entire bottle doesn't mean she's hungry.  Babies can't overeat from the breast.  They stop when they're full.  But they don't have that capability when you give them a bottle.  The latching/drinking is different and they can't stop the flow.  Couple that with the instinct to suck and your baby is going to overeat from a bottle.

If it were me, I would try to offer the breast instead of a bottle when you think she may be possibly hungry.  That way you can guarantee she's not overeating, that she's actually hungry, AND that your supply is maintained to keep up with her needs.

courtneyklv

And I am supplementing with bottles..because sometimes baby doesnt latch.  I may get 2 good latches a day...

 

tangerine1126

You know your baby better than your mama. I'm sure she means well but just follow your instincts! As long as baby is content and gaining weight, she's peachy! If she's chewing on her hands and she is content, she's just exploring or comforting herself.

You got this

EveryNameIWantIsTaken

Generally at that young, they are hungry if they are eating their hands.  Just keep nursing her as much as you can.  Breast milk digests much quicker than formula, so if they are eating small amounts because that is all their little tummys can hold, being hungry every hour is possible too.

I don't know how you could handle your mom like that, though.  It would send my overly hormonal because I just had a baby self over the edge!

turner215

My LO would nurse every 1.5 hour... then one day she decided she was fine for 3 hours, then that night she wanted every hour.  They are still getting used to eating too.  And the "eating" their hands thing could be anything....  its a comfort thing for mine.  

Remember that it is easier for babies to over eat from a bottle, so even tho they might take it they may only need a paci and are taking the bottle in that place... (we did this unknowingly, NOT FUN!  LO was constantly crying and not sleeping all day from a tummy ache)

Its a learning curve... good luck.... remember your intuition is better than anyone else's suggestions.

 

agytay

Based on #1, your baby is letting you know that she is hungry. Definitely feed her when she is rooting. 

At one week old, your baby will eat a lot. Even though you just fed the baby, it will be time to "feed the baby". Expecting a baby to got 2 to 3 hours at that point is pretty unrealistic. BM is digested very fast, so you should probably be feeding every 1 to 1.5 hours.

Good luck! 

shotzie

courtneyklv:

And I am supplementing with bottles..because sometimes baby doesnt latch.  I may get 2 good latches a day...

 

Have you met with a lactation consultant for help with her latch? Instead of giving her bottles, you can give her your milk from a medicine dropper. I'd focus on getting her on the breast and if she gets frustrated, then feed her with the medicine dropper. That way she's not going back and forth between breast and bottle this early on. The site www.kellymom.com has info about proper latching.

indomesticbliss

shotzie:

courtneyklv:

And I am supplementing with bottles..because sometimes baby doesnt latch.  I may get 2 good latches a day...

Have you met with a lactation consultant for help with her latch? Instead of giving her bottles, you can give her your milk from a medicine dropper. I'd focus on getting her on the breast and if she gets frustrated, then feed her with the medicine dropper. That way she's not going back and forth between breast and bottle this early on. The site www.kellymom.com has info about proper latching.

I agree. Meet with a LC and let LO nurse from the boob as much as possible. I would suggest just staying in bed or on the couch with LO and letting her latch or try to latch every time. I second dropper feeding, maybe your mon can help with that while you pump. Babies who are that young just need to eat on demand-be it every 30 minutes or a 4 hour night stretch.

And Kellymom is a great resource! 

indomesticbliss

Also, re 60ml not being "enough".... I currently have a scale from my pedi and I have to weigh LO before and after every daytime feeding (severe reflux issues...) my kiddo eats anywhere from 1 oz-2.5 oz from he breast and is "full" after each feeding, at 3.5 weeks. Has a medical dr suggested the amount you are bottle feeding? Maybe use the excuse of "mom, this is what our peso told us to do and so we are following his suggestion." 

kcl22

First of all, tell your mom nicely that you can handle it and you'd rather not talk about breastfeeding with her if all these comments are bothering you.

If baby is only latching on well 2 times a day and you want to continue breastfeeding (rather than EP'ing) I'd see an LC asap to work on the latch.  

A 2 week old very well may be hungry every hour.  If she's sucking on her hand and it's been an hour I'd go ahead and feed her.  You're building your supply and she could be going through a growth spurt.  

Cookiecake7

courtneyklv:

She also says I must wake baby every 3 hours to feed her when DH and I do not agree.  At night she does wake up to eat..2-4 hours..so we feel like its ok..

I would listen to your doctor on this one. My DD was a premie so we had to wake her every three hours. But it sounds like if she is waking herself every 2-4 she knows what she is doing.

 Also, I agree with everything the pp have all said. A lactation consultant can be really helpful with latch. Babies eat ALL the time at the begining. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong but that's just how they are. Watch the diapers and do what feels right to you.

RayRay007

blu-eyedwife:

courtneyklv:

So what if I BF and baby stops...(maybe a sign that she is done?)  and then she is hungry in an hour and then drinks a whole bottle that my mom gives her?

 Would this be a sign that I didn't give her enough even though it was an hour AFTER she BF? 

I know you are 'suppose' to feed every 2-3 hours..but after an hour?  

At that age it is entirely possibly your baby is hungry every hour.  They do a lot of growing and eating in those first few weeks and their stomachs are VERY small so it doesn't hold a lot.

HOWEVER, a baby has a natural need to suck - it's survival, it's how they eat.  So just because she's eating an entire bottle doesn't mean she's hungry.  Babies can't overeat from the breast.  They stop when they're full.  But they don't have that capability when you give them a bottle.  The latching/drinking is different and they can't stop the flow.  Couple that with the instinct to suck and your baby is going to overeat from a bottle.

If it were me, I would try to offer the breast instead of a bottle when you think she may be possibly hungry.  That way you can guarantee she's not overeating, that she's actually hungry, AND that your supply is maintained to keep up with her needs.

Agreed. Maybe your LO is hungry after an hour. DD cluster fed in the evenings for the first few weeks - every hour from 5 to 9pm. If you think she's hungry, offer the breast again, not a bottle. She can't help but drink from the bottle, whether she's hungry or not.

MyaMaternity

From first hand knowledge it can ruin everything if you have people around you that are extremely supportive about what you are doing.  Be strong and tell her that "thanks but I think i got this"  If you have questions ask a LC who really knows what they are doing.  Mom needs to find a different way to help out.