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Baby Showers
tuki06
member
Invite wording for a no child shower
tuki06
member
in Baby Showers
I need help with wording my invite wording. I live in a community where "ettiquette" kinda doesn't apply in most social gatherings. We have huge families and everyone goes to everything. But my mom (and I totally agree) wants this to be and adults only luncheon/babyshower. Both my SIL's and several of my cousins have younger children and I can totally imagine them bringing them if I didn't specifically tell them not to. If we were having the shower at my home then I wouldn't really care if the kids came but we are having it at a resturant and some of these kids are not very well behaved at home let alone in public. I know that ettiquette dictates that the only people invited are people the invites are addressed to, but I highly doubt that with the exception of myself my mom and one aunt, anybody knows this so I'm just looking for some help when it comes to the wording of the invite to let everyone know that kids are not invited. Any help in this situation would be grately appreciated. Thank you ladies!!!
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Re: Invite wording for a no child shower
You are having a shower for guests to essentially 'welcome' your child into the world, yet you don't want to welcome your guests children to the shower?
If they are little girls, then I would invite them; little girls would love to help with giving you gifts, and just the idea that most little girls love to play 'mommy'. List the mom's name and any girl's names on the envelope. When they rsvp with the # of people coming, kindly have the host or whoever receives the rsvp's explain that the shower is for women and little girls only.
I guess I can't imagine not having children at my baby shower. My one friend's daughter who is only 4 is so excited that she gets to come to an adult ladies party. If you truly don't want children, then you need to word the invitation in such a way that it's for a 'shower luncheon' and the invitation then should match the 'adultness' of the planned luncheon; nothing cutesy.
I would love to have the kids come if they could behave in a resturant and I know for a fact that they can't. Last time we were out to dinner my nephew started climbing under other peoples tables (and his mom did nothing to stop it my MIL had to wrangle him). If it was at my home I would be more than happy to have them but it's not, I just don't have the room for all the people coming or I would have it at my house. I myself have never been to a shower where kids weren't allowed but they were all in someones home so I'm in uncharted water here myself. It's not that I don't want them there it's that logistically and stress wise it makes more sense for them not to come. And most of them are boys of course lol. Oiy this is why I didn't want a shower but my mom always gets her way lol. Thanks for the advice!
There ar no babies under a 1 year old and none are being breast fed or I'd feel so horrible and def make a consideration. Thanks!
Apparently you did not even read the OP. She does not want other people's obnoxious children at her shower, nor does she want her hostess to have to pay for their meals. Also, in my area children are never welcome at a baby shower. It is about the MTB, so why would one invite a demographic that would definetly take away from that.
OP: Just write ADULTS ONLY on the bottom of the invite, and make sure they have to RSVP.
Good for you that you couldn't imagine not having kids there. For 99% of the showers I've been to I couldn't imagine having them there at all. It's just not the norm for my circle.
Also showers are to "welcome" the mom-to-be into motherhood not welcome the baby. That would be a "Welcome the baby" party held after the kid is born.
And for the record I second all of this.
The easiest solution is to put "Adults Only" at the bottom of the invitation so guests understand that children aren't welcome.
Whoever receives the RSVPs should make it known to guests who mention something about children that the venue is not child friendly and if they bring their child(ren) they will be asked to leave.
I've never been to a bridal shower with children there....anyway..
I wouldn't put "ADULTS ONLY" in huge block letters or anything, but in this case I think it's perfectly acceptable to word it as an adults-only shower.
Another option would be spreading it word of mouth (if the shower is small enough to do so).
Hopefully, if they see that, combined with the fact that it's at a restaurant, they'll understand why it's a child-free event.
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This is part of the problem. Showers are not to welcome the child into the world. Showers are to welcome the mommy into motherhood. That's why you only get one for your first child. It's not about the baby, it's about the mom. The baby is a fetus, it couldn't care less about the shower.
The baby to be is the only kid that should be there, but only because he has no choice as he currently lives IN the mother.
And I ditto pam1005 - say something to the effect of "due to space.....", blah blah blah.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Ding.
We just had this discussion, my shower host and I. As much as I love my friends kids (and I really, really do; in fact, I was nanny to several of them in previous years), space is limited, so no kids under the age of 8 are permitted this go around. (Plus, the location is in NO WAY baby-proof, so it's just safer for all if we lay down this rule.)
Honestly, I don't see a problem with saying, "Due to logistics and space, this is an adults-only shower. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause." You're not being devious. You're not being snotty. You're being honest and open about what you (and the hostess) want and expect. Besides, I have to wonder if some of the moms would like a little space from their younglings for an hour or two, you know? Might turn out to be the best decision you ever made.
If you're already sure that simply not listing the children on the envelope will do the trick, then you're forced to be more direct. Much like not inviting children to weddings, don't offer a reason because people determined to bring their kids will find a way to refute it.
Simply note on the invitation that this is an adult event
I fourth all of it. However, I would just put "Adults Only" at the bottom of the invitation. People don't need reasoning for your decision as to why their little bundles of poop aren't invited. If someone calls and asks, go with the "due to space" cr@p, but leave it off of the invite. It's unnecessary and people will always try to talk their way around it, ie, "well, I know Sheila isn't coming so my baby can take her spot".
I like the idea of putting something about "due to space..."
At the bottom of the invite, in smaller letters, I'd include "Due to space, this is an adults-only shower."
That being said, if the shower is in a large private room where it'll be obvious that kids could have come, leave that out. Just say, "Please, adults only."
Baby Boy born sleeping at 20 weeks.
There aren't children coming to my shower (my hostess has a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son and even they won't be there and it's at their house). It's just not customary in my circle of friends. I do have a new mom coming and I don't think she's bringing the baby but she'd be welcome to as she's nursing. In addition, I did not have children at my wedding.
All this and I own a preschool ... you'd think I'd have no problem with children at a function. The reality is, most children will get bored at these sorts of things and act up. I've seen it happen plenty of times. It's not really an appropriate place for them.
Sounds as if in your community that's just not the case. I think I would just put something along the lines of "Please join us for an Adult Baby Shower Honoring .." On our wedding invitation we put "Please join us for an Adult's Only Reception." May not have been the most polite way to handle things but it got the message across. Also, for the offending parties, I would make sure when they RSVP to your host that she states "we're looking forward to seeing YOU at the shower ...and just as a reminder, we are requesting a child free event."
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If a guest RSVP's notes that they will be bringing their children, the host/hostess can politely indicate that it is an adults only shower. It is then up to the guest of whether or not they can come.
Seriously though, people need to teach their children that the only people invited to an event are the people listed on the invitation!
Edit: clarification
Baby Boy born on 1/14/13
I totally agree with what BitsKD13 said.
Sounds like you have a situation where everyone is so used to kids going to everything you HAVE to put "Adults Only" on the invite. Trust me, you will still have those that ask if their little one can come. If you don't have any breast fed babies (which it sounds like you don't ) then don't make ANY exceptions. That would only cause problems.
Personally, I wouldn't want to pay for all those kids at a restaurant. Maybe 10anniversary2011 (or her hostess) has lots of $$ and that is why she can afford 10-20 kids at her shower (at a restaurant). Personally, I'd rather be able to invite more adults instead of kids.
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"No one under 18" LOL
My mom tried this on the invites and she still got phone calls saying..."is it ok to bring..." UGH! Naturally my mom said no to those who asked her but as for my MIL...she told everyone it's ok even though she is not paying. My point, make sure everyone is on the same page.
Brilliantly put....
You appear to be one of those people that necessitates the "adults only" notation on invites - the world does not revolve around your child(ren).
My daughter is the center of my world. But I know that she is not the center of everyone else's world. Therefore, I recognize occasions where it is and is not appropriate for her to come with me. Obviously you lack that recognition.
How is that relevant? The shower isn' for little girls' benefit and enjoyment. It's to celebrate the mother-to-be.
I'm with you 125% on this one! It's your shower! If you don't want other people bringing their little misfit children, then don't invite them. The same people who would just bring their kids without being invited are the same people who don't realize their kids are little terrors and just think everything they do is adorable. By the time you get to the day of your shower, you're going to be more stressed....don't add to your frustration and ruin your day worrying about something that can be avoided on a whole.
It's your shower. People want to think you're a jerk, who in the hell cares! OWN IT! It's your day, not theirs! And don't get bullied by other people on this board who can't understand why in the world you don't want to spend your special day watching over their special little people...
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14
While I admit and own the fact that I'm in the minority because I think no-kid showers are odd (based on our region/family/circle of friends) I don't think I'm in the minority when I say "Wow. I hope you realize that the world stops revolving around you when your kid is born". Part of being a gracious and generous adult is caring about the needs/wishes of those people around you.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
While I admit and own the fact that I'm in the minority because I think no-kid showers are odd (based on our region/family/circle of friends) I don't think I'm in the minority when I say "Wow. I hope you realize that the world stops revolving around you when your kid is born". Part of being a gracious and generous adult is caring about the needs/wishes of those people around you.
How exactly did I project that the world revolves around me? I have never thought that, nor do I think that now that I'm pregnant. I was simply stating that she shouldn't be worried about what other people will think of her wanting to have an adults only shower. It's her day, not the day of the Mom's bringing their kids. They had their showers already. The best part of being a parent is realizing that your world revolves around your little humans. YOUR world. Not everyone else's.
I hope when you have your baby you're not mean to all the other Mommy's out there who have opinions different than your own.
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14
Wow, I hope I managed to fix your destroyed quotes, it gave me a headache trying to understand you. First of all, I have a son already, if you'd look past your "it's so YOUR day, eff them" mentality you would see that in my signature. Secondly, I plan on teaching him that while he is the center of my world, there are other people that we have to be considerate of. I'd rather have all of my family there (therefore eliminating their need to find sitters, etc) than picking and choosing who can come and making their lives more stressful.
I started to write out my belief on kids at showers here, but I'm going to make that a separate post. However, I think that by just telling someone "who cares, it's your day!" when it comes to rationalizing one thing, you're going down the same path as diaper raffles and the like. I know I'm in the minority on the kid thing (and I'll go into more detail later on that), I think the whole blatant disregard of others in defense of "your special day" is just tacky as hell.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.