Tests/medical info for partners?

ball.and.chain

My consent form for RE treatment includes a clause that says we both consent to HIV testing; when I talked to the nurse she indicated that they might want her to have additional blood tests.  When we had our consult, they wanted my wife to fill out the same HUGE medical history filled out (we politely declined.  Medical information is private and they don't need hers).  She is not going to carry, ever, and is not contributing eggs.  I fail to understand the value of this (except maybe the HIV test).  And we do not want unnecessary blood tests on her because her insurance has a $500 deductible for bloodwork.  Is this typical?  Did your REs require testing for non-carrying partners?

LV1979

Yes they did require it.  I had to be tested for HIV and other communicable diseases.  Without it they would not complete our file and allow us to move forward. 

ball.and.chain

Thanks LV.  I am less than thrilled about it, but I'm glad to hear it's not just my RE.

Kershnic

I suspect it's a state law, but it's definitely worth questioning further.  My wife had to sign some of the same paperwork I signed (consenting or acknowledging receipt of information or something) but she didn't have to do any medical testing or anything like that. 

leapgirl8

No - that seems bizarre to me. I signed consent forms saying that I was Jen's partner and accepting responsibility for any children that resulted from the IUIs, or something like that. And I'm in both our RE and MFM files as Jen's partner and emergency contact. But I definitely did not undergo any medical tests. I probably would have gone along with it if it was clinic policy, but I wouldn't have been happy about it.

We did a genetics consultation and the counselor went through Jen's family history and the donor family history. Then she turned to me and said "Now let's go through yours, just so everyone has a chance to talk." It was pretty funny, and of course it wasn't necessary since my genetics have nothing to do with the babies, but it made me feel oddly happy and included.  

2moms2twins

NO- Our RE could care less about any of my medical stuff unless i was to carry .  Our Peri/OB was awesome though and he had his geneticist do a genetic background with me and the donor in case i ever would consider carrying. 

I would be skeptical really skeptical ....unless there was a reason for them testing you  like if u do carry or of its a possibility for you to carry if she can not carry but that should have been all set and if you are not contribute eggs then why spends the money or have this info on record.

-J 

 

 

ball.and.chain

Hmmmm.  I am definitely pushing back on this...we'll see how it goes.

jeannkerricotober09

You're at Fertility Solutions, right?  They asked us to do it too.  I refused.  I got major stink from the receptionist but Dr. Anania didn't care.  I think they just ask because they don't have a system set up for gay families yet.  That was the feeling I got, when I pushed.  I totally agree.  The stack of paperwork, including my first period?, they wanted me to fill out, when I wasn't having the procedure was insane.  I politely declined and when that didn't work, flat out refused.  I took the HIV test without a second thought, but collecting medical files on me isn't necessary.

Dr. Anania just opened that clinic.  She used to be with RSC.  We started there and moved when Anania moved.  At RSC they only had us do an HIV test, it is weird that she hasn't figured it out, that our medical files are unnecessary.  If you are feeling chippy, ask the receptionist why they require it.  She stumbles over heterosexual reasons and then gets mad. that is, if it is the same girl.  Don't worry about refusing, they won't kick you out!

2brides

I do think L had to do HIV/STI testing...but I can't recall if I filled out medical information for her.

ctbride08

leapgirl8:

No - that seems bizarre to me. I signed consent forms saying that I was Jen's partner and accepting responsibility for any children that resulted from the IUIs, or something like that. And I'm in both our RE and MFM files as Jen's partner and emergency contact. But I definitely did not undergo any medical tests. I probably would have gone along with it if it was clinic policy, but I wouldn't have been happy about it.

ditto

Two*True

They did not require any testing however we had everything done on her too because we didn't know if we were going to use her eggs or not.

tdmklm

We did at-home inseminations, so we didn't have to deal with any of that. That said, that is cray. I can see communicable diseases testing, but a complete medical history? Nah. Cray.

clairmeij

Friends of ours did not have to do this even though they both carried. The Dr (RE) just did the IUI on each of them when they were ready to 'go'. Some other friends, however went through a fertility clinic and spent around a thousand dollars on testing for the non-carrying partner. This seems absurd to me.  The clinic that did require the testing said that it was a state law (we all live in Colorado), however the RE that does not require the testing is also in CO. Even the RE scoffed at the idea of the testing. Not surprisingly, we're using the RE.

I personally think that it is what someone else described above - not being used to dealing with lesbian couples. 

Kershnic

I just realized that my dr didn't require an HIV test of me (the anticipated pregnant one) either.  Unless they did it without my consent, hm....  I just had to show proof of the ones you get done with a PAP smear.  (Gonorrhea and Syphilis maybe?)

jeannkerricotober09

clairmeij:

Friends of ours did not have to do this even though they both carried. The Dr (RE) just did the IUI on each of them when they were ready to 'go'. Some other friends, however went through a fertility clinic and spent around a thousand dollars on testing for the non-carrying partner. This seems absurd to me.  The clinic that did require the testing said that it was a state law (we all live in Colorado), however the RE that does not require the testing is also in CO. Even the RE scoffed at the idea of the testing. Not surprisingly, we're using the RE.

I personally think that it is what someone else described above - not being used to dealing with lesbian couples. 

The place I went to for my IUIs, a regular OB doctor, was like this. They didn't ask for anything other than consent and a general OB/ health history. No blood work, no std testing. (My wife started there but didn't conceive and so was sent to an RE for evaluation.)

ball.and.chain

jeannkerricotober09:

You're at Fertility Solutions, right?  They asked us to do it too.  I refused.  I got major stink from the receptionist but Dr. Anania didn't care.  I think they just ask because they don't have a system set up for gay families yet.  That was the feeling I got, when I pushed.  I totally agree.  The stack of paperwork, including my first period?, they wanted me to fill out, when I wasn't having the procedure was insane.  I politely declined and when that didn't work, flat out refused.  I took the HIV test without a second thought, but collecting medical files on me isn't necessary.

Dr. Anania just opened that clinic.  She used to be with RSC.  We started there and moved when Anania moved.  At RSC they only had us do an HIV test, it is weird that she hasn't figured it out, that our medical files are unnecessary.  If you are feeling chippy, ask the receptionist why they require it.  She stumbles over heterosexual reasons and then gets mad. that is, if it is the same girl.  Don't worry about refusing, they won't kick you out!

Yes, we're at Fertility Solutions.  And the short story is, she didn't have to do the tests.  For the record I would have been fine with the HIV test -- never really a bad idea, right? -- if it weren't for the money.  But you can get a HIV test for free -- I'm not paying OOP for an RE to do it.  Especially for a person who IS NOT BEING TREATED by that practice.

FWIW, she explained that the reason they request these things is that they want to treat same-sex couples the same way they would treat het couples.  I respect that but I don't know that it's been fully thought out.  I appreciate that when you question them, they are accommodating.

Yes, the receptionist did not stand up well to questioning when I asked her about filling out the medical history for my wife.  But we declined anyway and the RE was fine with it.

Thank you J for confirming that you had the same experience and thank you everyone else for weighing in!  I was starting to think I was crazy so it's good to hear I'm not the only one who found this all a little weird.

TaylorandMel

I'm trying to think back, because the first appointment at our clinic was about 5 years ago, but I'm nearly 100% sure that I did not have any blood work of any sort-even an HIV test.

I kind of get where they are coming from, but it seems unnecessary to me.   Not sure I would put up some huge fight over it, but wouldn't just bend over backwards to do it all, either.

thiswillbe

ball.and.chain:

And the short story is, she didn't have to do the tests.  For the record I would have been fine with the HIV test -- never really a bad idea, right? -- if it weren't for the money.  But you can get a HIV test for free -- I'm not paying OOP for an RE to do it.  Especially for a person who IS NOT BEING TREATED by that practice.

Glad you were able to sort it out to your satisfaction. When I saw this thread (on my phone) last night, I was thinking "just do the free test and take the results in to the RE."