Adoption

Anyone wanna lend a listening ear?

I dont wanna post a long rant on the board, because who wants to read that :) but If anyone isnt busy I just want to see what another set of brain cells thinks :) lol

 

                                     RANT

OK guys here goes tahnks for volenteering, cant say you wont regret it! Everything has been moving SOO QUICK! I feel like I just made the decision to pursue things, started looking at agency websites and calling around, kind of introducing myself to things ya know, and then all of a sudden POP I get a message on facebook from a friend of my moms shes starts by saying how proud she is, im so amazing my choice is great it was a really sweet litle note and made me smile then at the end its kind of like a PSS thing I know a couple wanting to adopt and I told them about you... It scared me to even read the letter! Dont get me wrong ladies this is what I want, Im not feeling forced into this or that if I dont do it ill dissapoint people, I know im doing this for me and my child, No one else it may be mean but right now I cant worry about others peoples feelings if I every questioned myself  or my commitment I wouldnt be doing this! I just didnt think it was going to happen this quickly or in this way.. I always pictured it differently in my head doe sthat make sense? I dont know maybe im just overthinking it......

Any thoughts would be appreciated!

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers "A baby is a miraculous gift from God, no matter how one receives it. Some are given the ability bear them, others the ability to rear them."

Re: Anyone wanna lend a listening ear?

  • I'm sitting in a Mathematical Statistics class, zoning out while he talks about approximating normal random variables... I'd love to have something to keep me awake! :)

     

    Oops... Sorry... I just realized class is over and he's gone over time. My next class starts in 5 minutes and I can't type in there. Dang!!

    ~Julie image Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
  • I'll listen, what ya wanna rant about.
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  • Rant away.  Some days are harder than others.
  • Alright I edited my original post!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers "A baby is a miraculous gift from God, no matter how one receives it. Some are given the ability bear them, others the ability to rear them."
  • imagefredalina:
    OK I hope this makes sense and doesn't come across wrong. You have no control of the biological timeline, but other than that, YOU are in control. If you feel like that letter came too soon, then it has. In your shoes I would say, "Thank you for the kind note. I appreciate all of the support I'm receiving from family and friends. At this time, I'm not quite ready to pursue a specific person or couple to be the adopters. I'm very confident in my choice to make an adoption plan, but as you can imagine, this is still am overwhelming prospect. I will let you know if and when I'm ready to know more about the couple you know. In the meantime, best of luck to them and thanks again for your support and understanding."  And do see a counselor sooner rather than later as they can help with the minefield of negative comments and people interested in adopting your baby. Again, YOU have control of that and a counselor will help you balance it. Meanwhile, be polite but firm that you are not ready to talk about specific families with anyone who asks.

    Yes I completely 100% agree with Fred!!! Really good points and I love how thought out the reply to the letter could be. Good Luck to you and don't feel bad about ranting and raving, we all need to sometimes.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I agree with Fred, you have control of this.  If it's too soon for you then it is and only you can make that decision.  I would do exactly what Fred said, just be polite and let her know that you are not ready to discuss or look at perspective adoptive parents and that if, when you are ready, you decide to look at that couple you will contact her.  I applaude you for being so strong in your decision.  Anytime you need to vent, this is a safe place to do so.
  • I too agree with Fred.  It seems that everyone knows someone looking to adopt a child, so while this was the first, it likely won't be the last.  If you aren't ready to look at perspective families- then dont, that is 100% your choice!

    Diddo Fred's comment- seek counseling sooner then later so they can help you with situations like this.

  • Yes yes! You could even add a little fb update saying, "Heck yes, I'm pursuing adoption bc it's the best thing to do for LO and for me. BUT IF I want help in finding LO's family, I'll ask. Thaaaaanks"

    But maybe less snotty. Your choice. Wink People are often ready to offer "help." Feel free to ignore anything you don't seek out. GL on your agency search: it can feel pretty overwhelming, but I'm sure you'll find one that makes you feel at ease.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
    Application approved Dec '11
    Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
    After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
    Homestudy complete July 19
    USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
    Come home, baby A!
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