3.5 year old driving us nuts!

ling79

DS is almost exactly 3.5.  So far he has become irritable beyond words, it almost seems like he is on an emotional rollercoaster.  After doing great with Potty training, only a handful of accidents for the past 6 months, now he has consistently pooped in his underwear for the past week - today 3 times!  Nothing new has happened, no new baby - same preschool since Sept.... I am at a loss.  Tonight I tried positive reinforcement as much as I could - back to sticker charts for potty and a special batman book only to be read while sitting on potty....I am at a loss.  Also heard today that he hit 2 of the kids at my in laws house that my MIL babysits for.  All this behavior is new - DS was never this difficult....Its like he is changing all at ONCE!  Any words of advice greatly appreciated!

livinitup

It gets better. Have hope. Really. Keep strong and it will get better.

jsugrin

It's a control thing.  He's finally figuring out he's got some and wow does pooping in your pants get one hell of a reaction from mama.  For my son is was peeing on the floor.  He'd look us dead in the eye and pee right on the floor, thank god we have hardwood.  Honestly for us it only went away when we finally got control of our emotions and told him " I don't care we'll just clean it up".  For poop I've seen people say to get them involved in the clean up and make it a long drawn out process but my oldest wouldn't have responded to that.

futrkingsley

I'm sorry. Three has been really hard in our house. Lots of control issues, tantrums, aggression. It was ugly for a few months but has been better lately. I hope it improves for you soon. 

KL777

3 is really rough.  Hang in there!

cecee36

I remember my daughter REALLY giving me the blues at 3.  I was shocked because I thought 3 would get better.  It didn't.  She didn't give me any grief bathroom-wise but it was more of a strong-willed/defiant/independent thing.  She never followed my instructions, challenged everything I said, and fell into a meltdown for the smallest thing.  I realized that I had to make some changes and became more consistent in how I disciplined her.  I learned to pick my battles wisely and because of my daughter's personality, I now know and understand that I can only "relax" so much with her.  For instance, if we're playing around and she says or does something inappropriate, I have to correct her in the moment.  I used to think: "We're just playing around; she's having fun."  But, with her, I have to let her know immediately what she did wrong.  Sometimes it results in us having to stop the good time but more important to me is her understanding that she'll always have to respect me and the boundaries I create.  

Maybe taking a closer look at how you handle certain situations and making changes will result in a change in his behavior.  I can only share my experience and taking a look at myself definitely yielded in some changes with my daughter. She's 4 now and while we still have our "moments" things are better.  Hope everything gets better soon!  GL! 

ilovemygirls

Totally normal.  Three's can be rough.  My oldest was a nightmare at 3.  Just be as consistent as possible, rewards/consequences, etc.  It's just a phase.  A sucky one but yes, just a phase.

jlw2505

Only thing I can offer is that they say kids stages/behavirohs go in 6 month cycles and I so believe it.  I found that my kids were both at their worst from from around 3 and a few months to a few months before their 4th b-days.  They learn certain skills at certain times and sometimes then need reinforment to keep them going when the excitment wears off or they focus on something else.  Whenever my kids had potty regression, I didn't make a big deal about but did bring back the potty rewards (we used Skittles).  They typically got over it within a few days.  They always were charged with cleaning themself up and any mess they had made which has been huge.  My kids are far from perfect - we ignore certain behaviors and set expectations and reward the good.  3.5 is a hard age but I do feel that with both my kids, the closer to 4 they got the easier things got.  My LO will be 4 in Mid March and is starting to give up her naps so we have that struggle going on - she is also finally night trained but with that comes her waking up at random times at night and she is not one to fall right back to sleep like her sister has always done.  There is good and bad and hard and easy in every stage!  Hang in there - this too shall pass.

WestCoastMommy

futrkingsley:

I'm sorry. Three has been really hard in our house. Lots of control issues, tantrums, aggression. It was ugly for a few months but has been better lately. I hope it improves for you soon. 

This is us and it got really bad once he hit 3.5. I hope it gets better!!