New and wanted to say hi
Hello, I have been lurking and wanted to say hi. You ladies are great and have given me some great advise this past month-so wanted to introduce myself.
My husband and I have been married almost 6 years-TTC for over 3 years now, did natural, did Clomid with shots and now we are being advised to do IVF-was all ready to maybe do this-went thru all the tests-painful-yes but I did it, I want to be a mom so bad and we were getting our hearts and head ready for IVF in the next month.
Out of nowhere last month-a young lady who we know thru a mutual friend who is 18 years old has asked us to adopt her baby-she is due in June. She knows that my DH and I want to be parents so bad and she knew we were considering IVF. So of course after meeting with her and having a long talk with her we are going for this. I honestly can?t believe how strong and brave this young girl is. She is a freshman in college and wants a better life for her baby. To me she is amazing to even know that this is what she wants at such a young age.
My husband and I have an appointment with a adoption attorney this week.
I have already been to 2 dr. appointments with her and her Ultrasound appointment-she is having a boy. My husband and I got to be there. I feel so blessed and so lucky to have been given this opportunity however I am scared, so scared. This is going all to well IMO. I mean is this normal? Does the BM usually want you to go to dr. appointments and u/s appointments with her? She says it helps her make it more real to her if I am there-she said I help. She gave us the ultrasound pics and we scan them and give her copies. She wants to make a scrapbook together for her baby, she said she knows I will give it to him later. This would be an open adoption-which I am ok with-now reading all your stories. What this all looks like-I really don?t know yet. Visits, etc. However I do know she does want to see him from time to time.
Any advice of anyone who has done a private adoption.
I do think counseling is a good idea She seems open to it as well.. Since this is not thru a agency I am hoping the attorney has some information for us on this as well.
Who knows what will happen with IVF-right now it is on hold. I feel we have been given this gift and as scary as this is and who knows what will happen in the end, that we need to just go for this. I realize things can change at any moment however I am trying to enjoy the moment and feel blessed this came to us. However I will be honest-do you even get past the stage of what is she backs out at delivery? (I don?t think you do) But how do you deal with the if?s? What has helped you all get thru this? I think it?s a blessing in ways we are so involved but in some ways I think it can be harder.
Thanks for listening and looking forward to getting to know you all.
Re: New and wanted to say hi
Hi and welcome. Thanks for sharing your story.
There is always a risk, but there have been people here who have gone to e-moms' dr appts and ultrasounds, so it's not necessarily out of the ordinary that this young woman is doing the same with you. I hope and pray that it works out for the best for all of you. So exciting, yet so scary at the same time.
We did not do a private adoption, so I have no advice there. But I'm sure some people will chime in.
GL!
Hi there!
I think it is WONDERFUL that this women sought you out! To me, it says that this is truly what she wants. I have no experience with this yet, so I have no first-hand advice. Just tread lightly and do things by the book. I'm sure everything will work out splendidly. :-)
Me: 26
Hubs: 32
Married June 19, 2010.
TTC since that date.
No successes that we know of.
Still waiting on the SA results. (Insurance issues.)
Cycle length approx. 34-36 days.
PCOS "diagnosis" Dec. 2011.
Started Metformin Dec. 2011.
34 day lighter cycle in Jan '12.
Possibly starting the adoption journey sometime this Spring.
Lots of unknowns, but tons of hope. :-)
Visit my blog, Angela's Favorite Things!
Visit my weight loss blog!
Hi. I adopted internationally, so I can't really offer you any specific advice, but I wanted to welcome you.
One thing is true for all adoptions, though: there's a lot riding on other people, and you really aren't in control until the adoption is finalized. You have to take a huge leap of faith and trust. Try not to be blind to red flags, but also try to relax enough to enjoy this time, because there's nothing else in the world like it.
All the best to you!
hey! the exact same thing happened to us(baby boy due in june(a few yrs ago))
we did a homestudy and hired an attorney who basically took care of everything for us. our birthmom wasnt interested in counseling so the process was very simple-as far as the waiting for him to be born it was soooooo stressful! lol
i was so worried she would change her mind after he was born but she never second guessed her choice. i got through it by eating a crap ton of nestle tollhouse cookies, not even joking, i gained like 25lbs! but then he came and i had nothing to worry about. we too went to every doc appt and were involved in the whole pregnancy. you cant know whats gonna happen till it happens, but you can pray that it all works out for the best of everyone, it sucks but thats all you can do.
we tried to be very open with bm and asked if she wanted to help pick names but she declined, it was her way of withdrawing very early on. we just let her know we were open to anything and in the beginning she was hesitant but now we see her and talk to her all the time.
try to have fun and plan for a new baby, i regret not enjoying the time i had to prepare for him, i spent to much time worrying about what turned out to be nothing.
TTC since 2005
missed miscarriage nov 2006- 4 failed clomid cycles-
3 failed femara iui cycles-
moving on to IVF oct 2011
ER nov. 7th
tansfered 2 blasts on 11/10
lots of +hpt!!
beta #1 on 11/21= 50.4
beta #2 on11/23= 90.8
another miscarriage 12/23
moving on to Round 2 of IVF with an auto immune dx
ER 4/23-retrieved 12 eggs
ET 4/28 3 transfered
Beta #1- 356
Beta #2- 870
Thank you all for your nice welcome and support. Sorry for the delay in posting back. It has been a busy week and we did meet with attorney this week. A lot of information and I feel like I am a little overwhelmed. Reading your stories and posts do help. You help me realize we can get thru all of this, home study, appointments, attorney, and it will be soooo worth it when we have our little guy. Thanks again!!