10m old and attitude ..

krystaldee6

I'm 27 weeks pregnant. My two will be 13 months apart and it seems my 10 month old already has an attitude. He thinks it's a game when I tell him no but when my MIL tells him no he stops. He seemed to get upset at me the other day and came over and pushed me then crawled away. How do I stop this behavior before it gets worse without making it look like a game???

kcisthebombdotcom

I had no luck with the word "no" (although 10 month olds will not respond to that most times at that age anyway) so I took it out of my vocabulary. I mostly ignore bad behavior/praise good behavior. When my son would hit the baby/me/whatever, I wouldnt say two words but I'd remove myself from the area he was in. When he acted nicely towards me/the baby, I offered up a ton of praise and attention.

Kaiterz

I watch how much I use 'no' and instead say 'we don't do x' or 'that's for babies' things like that.

Also, kids are going to test their boundaries all through their child/adolescent lives.  The fact that the boundaries are being tested with you and not other people I think is a good thing.  You want kids to understand boundaries, but not test them with other adults.  KWIM?

I remember thinking DD had a great big attitude around that age, it did die down some.  But I'm sure it will come back in the days to come!  

This is just the way of raising a kid.    You're doing great.

pixieprincss

Babies lack the cognitive ability to understand "no" in the way that older children and adults understand it.  My guess is that your MIL is just lucking out because of some way she says it that catches his attention. Also remember that babies lack the ability to manipulate, scheme, etc. so it isn't "attitude" in the way that it would be if a 5-year-old was doing this. It is easy to apply adult logic to babies' motivation, but it isn't accurate developmentally. Babies and very young children have high emotions and almost no skills for processing their emotions, hence crying one second, laughing the next, being physical, lack of self-control,  etc.

They also lack retention with rules, so even if you've said no to something 80 times, it is like it is a new rule each time.  I find redirecting, telling and showing the child what he can do instead, and creating a "yes environment" (removing things that would cause you to say "no" before it even comes up) are more productive at this age. This strategy is called positive discipline and there are many things online and in books that you can read about it for more ideas.

Examples: Baby reaches for TP roll, I say, "eyes only". If he touches it again, I move it up higher (or just have ut up higher to begin with). Baby pulls my hair, I say "gentle hands" and open his fist and guide his hand to stroke my hair with an open hand. Baby reaches for a plug, I start jangling LO's toys to get his attention. When he comes over to get the toys, I protect the cord. If he doesn't respond to my distraction, I physically remove him and then engage him in something else. Baby bites me while sitting on my lap on the couch, I say "Ouch, teeth hurt," and put him on the floor right next to my legs for a moment until we are ready to hug it out.

Here are other ideas: https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/18-ways-say-no-positively

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krystaldee6

Thank you all for your advice! I do understand that he doesn't comprehend the word "No" yet. And I have been trying to distract him or tell him "baby's don't touch that" and moving him. I think we have pulled him away and told him no so much he thinks its a game and keeps going back even if I try to play with him away from that area. We have a open entertainment stand and he tries to attack the cable box, DVD player, and stereo. I even put up pillows in front of it so he doesn't see them. I would love to move everything but we are currently living with my B/F's mom and it's just not going to get moved. But again thank you so much for all the advice.. I always feel so guilty telling him no all the time!!