3.5/4 yr old abilities — The Bump
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3.5/4 yr old abilities

N has been potty trained for over a year.  She also knows how to blow her nose, take her clothes off (at least pants and socks), put on her clothes, take off her shoes, etc.  However, she still throws a fit if I don't do all these things for her all the time.  She still wants me to sit with her when she goes to the bathroom.  Am I expecting too much from her at her age to want her to at least try doing all these things on her own, and ask me for help if needed?  With another baby coming soon, I'd really like Natalie to take on doing some of these items herself since she can but I don't want to push her into growing up too fast. 
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Re: 3.5/4 yr old abilities

  • Jocelyn can do all those things as well, and prefers to do them herself, but that may just be because she is stubborn. I do help her get dressed in the morning and at night put her PJ's on, but she can do it. She'll wake up and take off her pj's and pull up, put it in the trash, etc.  I don't go in the bathroom with her either, as everyone at the play date saw on Monday she goes right in and climbs on the big toilet herself and goes, I don't get do anything regarding potty issues unless she has to poop (that is a whole other story). I do know that when Jocelyn wants attention she cries that she "needs help" doing things she can normally do herself, and that is more of an issue when I am tending to Cameron. It sounds like Natalie is probably seeking attention from you by asking for your help, even though she can do it herself. Usually I just tell Jocelyn she is a big girl and can do it. I would not be doing everything for her, that is not going to be good when the baby comes. You are not expecting too much at her age.
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  • I don't think you are expecting too much either.  Ben is only 2.5 and does most of those things himself on a regular basis.  Don't get me wrong, I do a LOT for him still because it helps things move more quickly, although seeing this post makes me realize I should probably go ahead and start allowing him to do more since he is willing.  He will also ask for privacy in the bathroom sometimes and I just ask him to let me know when he is done so that I can make sure he is clean although he likes to take care of all that himself as well and would happily do so and put his pants back on if I let him.
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  • imageAngelPack:
    I don't think you are expecting too much either.  Ben is only 2.5 and does most of those things himself on a regular basis.  Don't get me wrong, I do a LOT for him still because it helps things move more quickly, although seeing this post makes me realize I should probably go ahead and start allowing him to do more since he is willing.  He will also ask for privacy in the bathroom sometimes and I just ask him to let me know when he is done so that I can make sure he is clean although he likes to take care of all that himself as well and would happily do so and put his pants back on if I let him.

     

    Jocelyn asks for privacy too. This reminded me of when Ben was at my house and they both went in to the hall bathroom together. Jocelyn sat on the small potty and Ben on the big one and they shut the door in my face and both said they need privacy!! Ha ha!!

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  • Nate does all of those things too, but sometimes I do them (at least getting him dressed/undressed, depending on our moods).

    I think I'd just take some different approaches with her and see what works. Maybe try asking her to put on 1 article of clothes herself each day. I use the "I bet you can't do that" method of getting Nate to do things and it often works really well. I'll say "I bet you can't get yourself undressed, can you?" and then he'll try to undress himself. We do that a lot - "You don't know how to put a shirt on by yourself!" and he'll race to prove me wrong. That's his personality though. We also try races sometimes (who can get dressed faster, Nate or mommy).

    If I get him to dress/undress himself, it can be a good learning time, because I can help him learn how to unbutton a shirt, snap his pants, get his shoes on the right feet, etc.

    I think you may also be able to use Claire and the new baby as motivation for Natalie too. Tell her she needs to show Claire how to go potty like a big girl (without mom), how big girls put clothes on, etc. And if Claire isn't motivating enough, you can use the new baby... Also, you can try encouraging Claire to try to do some of those things herself, even though she likely needs help with most of them, just to see if it pushes Natalie to do it on her own since she's the big sister. As an older sister, I know that I always wanted to do everything before my sister. :P

  • imageECUGirl2004:

    Nate does all of those things too, but sometimes I do them (at least getting him dressed/undressed, depending on our moods).

    I think I'd just take some different approaches with her and see what works. Maybe try asking her to put on 1 article of clothes herself each day. I use the "I bet you can't do that" method of getting Nate to do things and it often works really well. I'll say "I bet you can't get yourself undressed, can you?" and then he'll try to undress himself. We do that a lot - "You don't know how to put a shirt on by yourself!" and he'll race to prove me wrong. That's his personality though. We also try races sometimes (who can get dressed faster, Nate or mommy).

    If I get him to dress/undress himself, it can be a good learning time, because I can help him learn how to unbutton a shirt, snap his pants, get his shoes on the right feet, etc.

    I think you may also be able to use Claire and the new baby as motivation for Natalie too. Tell her she needs to show Claire how to go potty like a big girl (without mom), how big girls put clothes on, etc. And if Claire isn't motivating enough, you can use the new baby... Also, you can try encouraging Claire to try to do some of those things herself, even though she likely needs help with most of them, just to see if it pushes Natalie to do it on her own since she's the big sister. As an older sister, I know that I always wanted to do everything before my sister. :P

    Thanks.  Definitely think my approach needs to change so it's less frustrating for both of us.  It's funny how different my girls can be too.  Claire insists on trying to do things herself (put on jacket, clothes, etc.) even though she does still need help but Natalie would rather me do it.  Maybe I'll try getting her to do one of these things first then move onto the next so she doesn't think I'm abandoning helping her when I help Claire.

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  • imagedbertagni:

    imageAngelPack:
    I don't think you are expecting too much either.  Ben is only 2.5 and does most of those things himself on a regular basis.  Don't get me wrong, I do a LOT for him still because it helps things move more quickly, although seeing this post makes me realize I should probably go ahead and start allowing him to do more since he is willing.  He will also ask for privacy in the bathroom sometimes and I just ask him to let me know when he is done so that I can make sure he is clean although he likes to take care of all that himself as well and would happily do so and put his pants back on if I let him.

     

    Jocelyn asks for privacy too. This reminded me of when Ben was at my house and they both went in to the hall bathroom together. Jocelyn sat on the small potty and Ben on the big one and they shut the door in my face and both said they need privacy!! Ha ha!!

    Ok, that is too funny.  They were asking for privacy in your bedroom too that one day and I got the door shut in my face too lol 

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  • Liam still asks me to come to the potty with him, help him get dressed, too. I guess I should be working on that with him :) He also still won't use the big toilet, only the little potty! Oy.
    Rachel & Bill 9-10-05, Liam Andrew born 5-30-08 (formerly lakebride05)
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  • imagecrescentmoon99:
    Liam still asks me to come to the potty with him, help him get dressed, too. I guess I should be working on that with him :) He also still won't use the big toilet, only the little potty! Oy.

    maybe it's a May 30th thing! :)

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  • Eli CAN do all those things, but he usually doesn't want to.  I keep asking when the independent phase is going to kick in b/c he never wants to do anything for himself and it drives me crazy.  We've tried different tricks and sometimes they work, but usually only short term.  And we've tried to just be hard core about it and that totally backfires.  So I guess it's just his personality and eventually he'll decide he's a big boy.  It does suck though, especially with a new baby.  Some days are better than others. 
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  • imagemrsmikey:
    Eli CAN do all those things, but he usually doesn't want to.  I keep asking when the independent phase is going to kick in b/c he never wants to do anything for himself and it drives me crazy.  We've tried different tricks and sometimes they work, but usually only short term.  And we've tried to just be hard core about it and that totally backfires.  So I guess it's just his personality and eventually he'll decide he's a big boy.  It does suck though, especially with a new baby.  Some days are better than others. 

     

    Nora is this too... she can do most of the stuff, but ALWAYS wants me with her.  It's so frustrating, especially when I'm running late and she will wait for me to watch her pee... The only things she throws her Ms. Independent card on are things I WANT to help her with, of course!

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  • Holly can do all that stuff, and is expected to (and does do it) at school independently. At home, I often times still help her with the bathroom (getting her on the toilet, etc, wiping after a poop, etc). I think that's my doing though, not hers. :-) She will ask for help on stuff that I know she doesn't need help on sometimes though--like taking off her shirt.


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