WWYD in my situation? (Re: Visitation)

CBKMRB

So STBEXH recently took a plea deal on his attack on me a year ago.  He was in jail since February 2011 without an option for bail and is now in State Prison.  He is up for parole in August of 2015. 

So now I'm working on the divorce part.  Right now, in the draft agreement, I am offering phone and letter communication (right now I have a restraining order that covers DD and I so he has had no contact with her for almost a year now).  When he is released, right now the draft visitation agreement says that he would have court supervised visitation for 6 months and then supervised visitation after that (I forget the amount and duration).  Do you think this is appropriate?  Just curious what others think.

cautionwillburneyes

My XH went to prison for similar reasons.  He was in for 2 years and is on parole out of state at the moment.  In my divorce papers it states that I have full physical, and legal custody of the two boys.  He is allowed to write letters to them, but may not mention me at all.  There is a restraining order for another year and a half (5 total) and so no phone or physical contact is allowed.  Only written letters that can be sent to my attorney's office.  My attorney is my Aunt though so you could always use a PO box instead.  You might want to reconsider phone calls from him fro prison as those I think can be expensive and you'd end up footing the bill.  Not sure how that works, but I would totally be opposed to that.

At the moment there isn't anything written in my agreement for after the restraining order.  I think we will probably have to hash it out in court, but I would definitely ask for supervised visitation, as well as completion of parenting classes, and anger management classes prior to any visitation occuring.  

warriormomerin

Do you fear for her safety? If so, then I wouldn't offer any kind of visitation without making him fight tooth and nail for it. Is he receiving any kind of psychological treatment while he's in prison?

My Ex is in a state prison that is specifically meant to treat sex offenders. If I had chosen to allow him to have contact with my children, I would have been allowed to have direct communication and periodic reports from his prison psychiatrist. Is this an option for you?

Unknown

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CBKMRB

In this state he has to take a Parenting Class before visitation, I already did mine to get the divorce.  Per his sentence he has to take Anger Management classes and will have a psychological evaluation and counseling, not sure if I can have access to this information or not.  As part of his probation he has to have random drug and alcohol testing. 

I'm not sure how the phone calls would work.  From what I have read our prisons have a debit program for phone calls, so he could make them on his dime not mine.  

My head is just spinning with this whole situation.  No, I don't think he would intentionally hurt Keira but I never in a million years would have thought he would do what he did to me either.  It might be irrational, but my biggest fear is he would do something to her to hurt me.  He snapped the night he attacked me, totally snapped.  

warriormomerin

The Parenting Class is required in my county also. The fact that ex-H hasn't completed it is the only thing that is preventing him from petitioning to revoke the PO and requesting phone visitation with DS.

The judge basically told me that because he's their father, he'll always have the right to at least petition for some type of visitation. It'll be up to the judge at that time to make that decision. I'm trying not to stress out about this until ex-H is up for shock probation (parole) in 2014.

If I were you, I would fight for no visitation at all or do my best to make sure he only ever has supervised visitation. I'd imagine it would be hard for him to hurt her if his visits are supervised, no?

CPA04

I agree with the pp, but also wanted to add that phone calls from jail/prison are hella expensive.  Avoid those at all costs.

CBKMRB

Ok, thanks for all of the input. 

I'm meeting with my divorce lawyer on Friday.