Not married but with Baby's Daddy

HayAmanda1122

Ever since DD was born, we havnt been on the best terms. hes working, im not. i feel like he doesnt do enough on his days off to help me with the baby. he says its his "day off" and uses that as an excuse to help out. it like, well whens my "day off?" never! and im not complaining about that because thats what you get with an infant. 24/7 of parenting. you dont get a schedule. i just wish he would realize that. 

 

but now its been getting a little better but he annoys the hell out of me. i feel like hes immature now for some reason. before DD came, we were so good, he was nice and was serious with me. now its all like a joke or something. he taes everything wayy too lightly and what i want is a more serious relationship between the 3 of us.

 

anyway, we will be living in fl and boston 6 months at a time. my family is in FL, his is in Boston. he has a family contracting business up north that he will work during the spring/summer and will work the fall/winter season in FL at a golf course so he can take advantage of the highest income seasons. my question is, when we go to BOS, if we get worse, can I legally leave and come back home for a few months to cool off and get my head on straight? DD has both our last names just in case something happened.

 

dufferoo

If you weren't married, and never legally established paternity (he never signed the birth certificate willingly or took a DNA test to prove he's the father), you have custody for now, and can legally leave.

 If, however, he is on the birth certificate or has proved he's the father with a test, then he does have some rights to the child and he can fight you in court if you just pick up and leave. My advice to you would be to have an official breakup and get some kind of written custody/visitation plan set before you just decide to take off, because you will look more responsible to courts that way. They don't like when moms try to deny dads access to their children.

 Besides the legal issues of leaving, it sounds like dad isn't too interested in raising the child so he might be okay with you leaving as long as you are upfront about it and let him have some visitation.

dufferoo

(Oh, and I think you meant you wanted to leave with the baby to cool off and get your head straight, but if you meant you wanted to leave the baby with him and take off by yourself, then no, I wouldn't do that. Once you're a mother, you don't get that freedom anymore!)

HayAmanda1122

jociejones:

(Oh, and I think you meant you wanted to leave with the baby to cool off and get your head straight, but if you meant you wanted to leave the baby with him and take off by yourself, then no, I wouldn't do that. Once you're a mother, you don't get that freedom anymore!)

 

lol, yes, that is what i meant. i would not have left her with him. she would be coming with me if i ever left. thanks:]