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January 2012 Moms
julesjarvais65
member
Things that scare me....
julesjarvais65
member
With my EDD only 3 days a way, its finally starting to hit me that my life is about to change tremendously.... Ya, a little late in the game lol. I was thinking about it last night and there are SOOO many things that freak me out. Feel free to reassure me about anything lol
I'm scared that:
-I'm never going to sleep decent again in my life
-I'm not gonna be able to breastfeed
-I'm not gonna ever feel sexy again (mainly thanks to stretch marks), and that my husband won't find me sexy again, even though he says he does even now
-I'm gonna have an extremely difficult time adjusting to being a mother
-I'm not gonna like CDing as much as I hope to
-My husband and I are going to start to have marriage problems
-I'm not gonna be a good mom in general
-My dog is going to hate the new baby, instead of loving her like she does us
And the list goes on.... But this are the main things I can think of right now
Feel free to list your own, reassure me on anything, tell me I'm ridiculous for any of them, etc.
Thanks for letting me get it out to someone else that might understand
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Re: Things that scare me....
I'm worried about breast feeding too. It is really the only thing I have zero experience with.
I am not excited about stretch marks and my after baby body especially because my husband has lost almost 100 in the last six months. He is looking so amazing an I am going to be a blob:(
Ok, here's my take on these worries, since I have all of them too! This is what I've been telling myself to reassure myself...I hope it helps you too
Keep in mind that I'm a FTM, so I don't have any actual real life experience to back this all up...these are just my own thoughts!
-I'm never going to sleep decent again in my life -- Yes, sleep will be challenging for a few weeks, but all babies eventually get on a schedule! I've not heard of one parent EVER who consistently gets a terrible night's sleep. Many of my friends and family with babies sleep 6-8 hours per night, except when the baby is sick or teething or something.
-I'm not gonna be able to breastfeed - This is a worry of mine too, but I try to remember that breastfeeding is what our bodies were meant to do. And if we can't breastfeed, there are great options out there for us, whether that be pumping and bottle feeding or formula feeding. Your baby will NOT starve.-I'm not gonna ever feel sexy again (mainly thanks to stretch marks), and that my husband won't find me sexy again, even though he says he does even now - I think this is another one of those "it will take some time" situations. I think we need to cut ourselves a break for a few weeks, get into the mothering groove, and then focus on ourselves again. Once you get the ok from the doctor to start working out, take that little baby on walks/runs and do nice things for yourself, like get your hair done or your nails done or put on some makeup and clothes that make you feel good! Stretch marks will fade, and remember also that it took 10 months to get to where we are now...so give yourself that much time to get back to the "old you".-I'm gonna have an extremely difficult time adjusting to being a mother - Another huge worry of mine...and honestly, I think some days WILL be extremely difficult. But just like adjusting to a new job or new house or new marriage, along with the bad days come some GREAT days. And once we get used to this huge life change, I think we'll wonder how we ever lived without these babies in our lives.-My husband and I are going to start to have marriage problems - I think that any baby strains a marriage--you're both tired, stressed, etc. However, I think the key is A. communication--telling your partner what you need and how to help rather than lashing out or belittling them, and B. giving yourself a break! Some days and nights will be REALLY hard, but remember to take time out for the two of you. I'm going to make sure to plan a date night with my husband at least once every few weeks so that we take time for ourselves and step away from the baby for a little while.-My dog is going to hate the new baby, instead of loving her like she does us - I have two "fur babies" at home too and worry about how they'll react to the new little one...I think the key is just to give them love and attention too--take them for walks, give them lots of belly rubs and treats, and then realize that just like you, they need some time to adjust to the new baby. If it makes you feel better, my parents' dog and I were BEST friends growing up--I think dogs and kids are a natural fit
Sorry this response was so long! "Talking through it" helped me too...I think the key thing is just to remember that it will take some time to get used to being a mom, just like it took time to get used to being X profession or a wife or any other new role. Good luck!
This a thousand times...you must be in my brain LOL.
DH swears he still finds me sexy but has been fairly hands off (in a sexy way anyhow) ever since he first felt a kick...suddenly he's afraid of sex...so its hard for me to not feel rejected now and to not worry that he'll have a hard time being sexual while I'm BFing etc. Plus, I don't feel sexy so that never helps.
I worry about having marriage problems as well...DH isn't exactly one to see the need for the level of cleaning that I prefer in our house which has been hard for me to keep up with in the last few weeks and will be harder when I am focusing on a newborn....I worry that my expectations for him stepping in will go unmet and I worry that we will disagree on little things about parenting that we haven't thought of yet.
Sleep- DH is a firefighter and I'm really nervous for those days when he's gone for 24 hour shifts and there's no one to split the shifts with with LO.
My novel worry is that I am scheduled to start an internship for my master's in may which is 20hrs/week on top of my FT job...I don't know how Im gonna have time for that, LO, DH and maybe still make it to the gym so I can take care of me too!
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I can tackle some of these!
You will sleep again. Honestly, the first week with our LO was hell. We were getting 2-3 hours a night. Day 7 passed, and we straightened out some feeding issues. Last night he slept from 1:30-6:30, was up for an hour feed, and then slept again from 7:30-10:30. You'll sleep.
The breastfeeding. I'm afraid I'm not a great help on that one. My milk hasn't come in enough. Hence the first 7 days of hell, where LO was so hungry. The doctor told us we had to give him formula to supplement. He had lost 14% of his birth weight. I wish I had researched formula; I had no clue what I was doing. We are supplementing now, he feeds from the breast first, then I feed him minimal pumped milk from the last session, and he gets a top up at the end. It was devastating, but we have a very happy boy on our hands now.
You'll feel sexy! My husband keeps commenting that he can't believe how small I am. Oddly enough, I have a sex drive too...not that I can think about my ladybits doing ANYTHING right now, but it feels good.
Marriage problems...we're doing really well over here. My husband is amazing. I'm terrified of him going back to work Tuesday. He's an incredible father already, and so supportive. He's kept visitors at bay, and been my voice when it's time to kick people out. I think we've held hands more in the past week and a half than the past year.
It'll be okay. Things might seem a little out of your control, but it'll be okay. You'll do fine!
Breastfeeding - Try to find a lactation consultant at the hospital, I had one come to room once or twice a day the whole time I was there and they were so helpful and then keep up on the Breastfeeding board here.
Adjusting to being a mother - I've never babysit or been around babies much so I was nervous too but you will learn as you go. Just trust your instincts!
I'm nervous about Cloth Diapering too but we're going with disposables until he's ten pounds.