days when reality sets in (ASD related)

mjsweetgirl

We took DS to my nieces birthday party this evening. He was recently diagnosed with Autism, and we are started really understand how he operates and what events are becoming difficult for us to attend. DS was on sensory overload, there were too many people in  a small space and he wanted to jump in to "help" un wrap presents. And I think he sat down for a whole 2 minutes and was just into everything. It was a lot of work. Thank goodness it was my sisters house, and she has been so helpful and supportive with DS since we got his diagnosis.

When does this get easier? My heart feels so heavy at the end of every day and I just wonder what the future holds for DS. The day to day feels so overwhelming and with a baby due at the end of march, my head is starting to spin. 

Anlo

((HUGS))

DS was diagnosed about 10 months ago. I hate to say it but things aren't really easier per se. Even as we overcome certain issues, new ones arise to take their place. For example, DS has some sensory issues and seems to seek input to his head and face. He used to want to put everything in his mouth, past the age where this is typical of kids. He has outgrown that, but now likes to crawl around rubbing the side of his face on the floor.

The good news is we're beginning to feel more confident in the way we handle DS's needs. The more time we spend talking with therapists, teachers, and other parents the more we learn about how best to help him. It will always be a lot of work, but I think it's kind of like starting a new job and the more experience you get, the more confidence you build. It is overwhelming and exhausting but you CAN do this.

It's good to hear that your sister has been so supportive. I'm sure she will be a big help to you when your new baby arrives. Best wishes.

KelliO924

It's tough...especially with a new baby in the works.  A couple of months ago, I was in your exact situation.  Our son was diagnosed in June of last year, and I had my daughter on July 1st.  Many times in that early initial period of having two kids, I was sick with anxiety.  I worried about how I could give each child enough of myself, how I could do all of the therapies that were being recommended, how I would handle multiple moves and deployments, would Jake ever really be ok, etc, etc, etc.  Somehow, it fell into place.

 Like you, I worry about my son's future.  However, this past year has thrown us so many curveballs.  Orders to Texas (near my family) were yanked and a month later, we were being told we would have to go to VA where we knew no one due to a military program for special needs children (this actually turned out to be a good thing for us), my 36 year old sister had her life fall apart and is now back living with my parents, my dh's brother had a recurrence of cancer, Jake was diagnosed, Juliana was born, it's been a crazy ride.  2010 taught me a lot of things, but the main thing that it taught me is to enjoy the little victories and not worry SO much about the future.  We do the best we can for our son with fitting in all the therapies, and he has come a long way, but I have also come to realize that none of us have a future that is set in stone.  A NT child can be stricken with a life threatening illness, a car accident, mental illness, etc.  Life can change in an instant. 

I want life for my son to be happy and easy (as I'm sure we all do), and while I understand that he is and probably always will be different, he is the neatest, coolest, sweetest kid I know.  If I had any advice for you, prepare to be overwhelmed with the arrival of your newest little one and working with your son; let people help you when they offer to (BTW, my son took to my daughter really easily, and she actually tends to be more demanding than he is).  Don't feel like you have to get everything done and keep everyone happy.  Don't be afraid to take some time off of therapy while everyone adjusts.  Remember to do some things for yourself, you'll do a great job.