Looking for information in South Carolina

eelankes

Hello-

My partner and I are planning to start trying in the next year. We have been reading the books but it still seems a bit challenging. We have chosen a known donor but he happens to live in another state. My partner is going to get pregnant first and we would like to use the same donor when I get pregnant. The challenge has been trying to plan when to fly him in to get pregnant, if we should freeze some to avoid having him coming back if it doesn't take the first time, and also so that we have a "reserve" for when I get pregnant. We also have not been able to find a sperm bank in SC/NC. Any advise or resources are greatly appreciated. 

 E

 

leapgirl8

I would say "a bit challenging" is an understatement, but it happens, and that's the important thing to remember. I will let others who have used known donors speak to your other questions, but there are no sperm banks in North or South Carolina as far as I know. There is a Xytex branch in Atlanta - that may be the closest. Xytex does have Directed Donor services available, if that's what you're looking for in a sperm bank.

https://www.xytextissues.com/additional-services/directed-donors.cfm 

ball.and.chain

eelankes:

The challenge has been trying to plan when to fly him in to get pregnant, if we should freeze some to avoid having him coming back if it doesn't take the first time, and also so that we have a "reserve" for when I get pregnant.

Not to be a downer, but I would definitely plan on it not working the first time -- it could, but odds are that it won't.  So yes, if you have the resources to freeze some, definitely do it.  If it does work the first time, you can just save it for when it's your turn.

I don't have any SC/NC advice, but general advice is: read the books, check out the FAQ at the top of board, and stick around if you like -- people here have been very helpful.  I also recommend charting if your partner isn't already -- it's not a bad idea to start a few months before you TTC.

Good luck!

eelankes

Thank you! I will have to check that out! It is nice to have a place to ask these questions

betsykerry1

My partner and I used an unknown donor. I think we both had a couple known donor possibilities, but the legalities of it were too overwhelming for us (providing for the two of us to have sole custodial rights was extremely important). Not insurmountable, but the unknown donor route was much easier! We used a smaller bank in Massachusetts -- New England Cryogenics. They were super friendly and helpful. When we called to order our IUI sperm, the woman who took our order was so funny -- she couldn't stop talking about how cool, smart, nice and good looking the donor was. My IUI was done at my OBs office and I got lucky and got pregnant the first time around. How? I think I attribute it to the fact that I can set a clock to my periods -- 29 days every month. I also spent a few months charting with an ovulation predictor (just a dipstick in urine) to be sure I knew when I had the best chance of getting pregnant. If we had this to do all over again, we wouldn't change a thing! The IUI was painless and quick and my pregnancy has been easy so far. Good Luck!

lynseys06

My partner and I are from North Carolina, and we are using Xytex as our sperm bank. If the option for freezing is available to you, I would take it. Always be prepared, since the average IUI can take up to 3 or more tries to see that BFP!

 

Good Luck

eelankes

Great thanks! We are still looking at our options. Can you tell me how does the legality work when you use a sperm bank? Does one partner have to adopt? We have a meeting with a lawyer next week but any insight is appreciated!

ball.and.chain

eelankes:

Great thanks! We are still looking at our options. Can you tell me how does the legality work when you use a sperm bank? Does one partner have to adopt? We have a meeting with a lawyer next week but any insight is appreciated!

This depends on your state laws.  The donor has no legal rights.  In states that have gay marriage, my understanding is that the non-carrying partner will be on the birth certificate but most people still recommend doing a second-parent adoption (since marriage is not always recognized out of state).  In states that don't have gay marriage but do have second-parent adoption, the partner would need to do a second-parent adoption to be a legal parent to the child.  However, many states do not allow second-parent adoption.  It seems unclear what SC law says, but your lawyer will know.