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C-sections
c/s rant
I can't hold this in any more.
I am no less of a woman because I had a c section.
I am no less of a mother because I had a c section.
I do not need to push a child out of my vagina to prove my womanhood.
I am so tired of getting the side eye every time I talk about my birthing experience and the fact that I am choosing to have a repeat c section. It's my choice, no one else's. I am doing what is safest for me and my child. Who are you to judge me?
I know the "ideal" image of the birthing experience is to labor naturally and have this glowing moment at the end where the dr hands you your baby. That doesn't happen for everyone. Honestly, I think it rarely happens. Labor and delivery are messy and unexpected things come up. In this day and age society is pushing on us that natural labor and birth are the only way to go. While I would have liked to not be cut open, that wasn't in the cards for me. I don't need anyone to make me feel bad about that. I made a baby and that's pretty amazing regardless of how the baby left my body.
Sorry for the rant. I just get so frustrated sometimes. Being pregnant, labor and delivery aren't easy things to go through. I don't know why people need to make the whole experience more difficult by making us feel guilty or bad about the choices that we made, or that may have been made for us. I think we are trying to raise our children the best we can with what we have.
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Re: c/s rant
omg this is soo what I'm going through right now! I have my first c/s scheduled already and even if I go into labor before then, I'm going to still have a c/s due to complications. Our parents keep saying things about it and my mom especially keeps insinuating that I really don't need a c/s. Just like she would tell me before when we weren't sure about needing the c/s that I should go natural like she did. (I had already made it clear that I was definitely going to take advantage of the pain meds).
End of story- I'm not going to get some extra prize for going through labor the "natural" way. I'm still going to hold my son in my arms when it's all said and done, no matter if the hole he comes out of was there when I was born or made by my doctor.
Amen sista! Whoever doesn't like it can suck it.
and like a PP said, if anyone has a problem with it, they can suck it!
" In this day and age society is pushing on us that natural labor and birth are the only way to go."
As someone who is choosing a VBAC, I wholeheartedly disagree with this. I've actually had people tell me they are scared for me, afraid that something will go wrong if I attempt a natural birth, even though my previous c-section was purely due to baby's malpositioning. I don't mean this as a flame at all- I think that, for whatever reason, way too many people feel they have the right to comment on other people's reproductive choices. It seems that all women get it, no matter what choices they make. The natural birth board is full of women complaining that they feel they are pushed into c-section unnecessarily because it is assumed that is the safer choice.
I understand your rant, though. I fully believe that women should be in charge of their birth, whether they choose c-section or natural birth or something in between. I absolutely agree with your last paragraph, even though I'm on the opposite side of the fence than you when it comes to getting flack about birthing decisions.
When my husband and I choose to have another child I will do a repeat c-section as well even though my husband doesn't like the idea but he knows it would be better. he just doesn't want me to have to be cut open again. I did go through induction & natural labor with my daughter, no pain meds for 15 hours which included 6 HOURS of pushing and 4 vacuum attempts to get my daughter out. She failed to descend due to being transverse breech (sideways). I know I could probably do it again but I don't want to. I do not want to labor again only to end up with a c-section because they end up breech again. I though the recovery wasn't bad at all and I think I would prefer the scheduled c-section so I never have to experience going to the hospital already in labor.
I hear ya.
I don't care, and didn't care, c/s, vaginal birth, meds, no meds, whatever. I just wanted a healthy baby and a healthy me. And when I needed a c/s for about 10 different reasons, I didn't care. Still don't.
What drives menuts it people look at you like you must be from Mars or just plain out of touch with some part of the universe if the actual act of giving birth is just a very minor part of your life.
I agree with you completely! When I told my mom I was having a c/s, she actually had the audacity to tell me not to tell other people cause it was embarrassing! Um, WHAT!? I obviously ignored this "helpful tip".
And OP- if I have more kids, you'd better believe I will have a RCS.
Even friends of mine IRL always tell me how bad I must have felt. How about I am just glad I had a healthy baby? Ugh, thanks for posting this, this has always really angered me as well.
Honestly, it is such a personal choice, and I begrudge no woman her choice or her feelings. I needed a c-section for several complications, but I am not going to lie and say I wasn't hoping for one from the get go. And man, people do NOT like to hear that.
I couldn't have said it better myself! Some people are just ignorant and the best thing to do is to ignore them. Good luck with your c-section and know you are not alone!
Agree with you 100% OP!! I chose a RCS with my second - my birth experience with my first was terrible & full of complications and it ended in a c-section. I could have chosen a VBAC -one doctor advised I try that then a second one in the practice recommended against it. I got my hands on the delivery records from the first one and when I read how they had to basically unstick him from the birth canal to deliver I decided on RCS. Lucky for me DH & my parents were quite relieved that I made that choice.
I've never heard of a child being hurt developmentally because of the method they were delivered.
I agree with this (as someone who did have a VBAC). The issue is people thinking they have a say in other people's birth choices. I had so many people tell me that I was risking my baby's life and that VBAC was dangerous. For some reason (to me), people seemed to think c/s is this "safe" option and VBAC is a death sentence. In reality, both are equally safe with dangers attached. Each woman has to make her own decision as to which risks she is willing to take. I researched both and was more comfortable with the VBAC statistics and risks than I was was with c/s. I have my right to that just like another woman might want to take the c/s risks over VBAC. Personal choice, that is really what the issue is. I just stopped talking to people about it until after the baby came. Once she was here safely, everyone thought a VBAC was a great idea. Go figure. I think it is interesting that people are giving you a hard time for a c/s choice. Must be damned if you do, damned if you don't.
But I'd be happy to smack anyone who tries to tell you that c/s is some kind of easy way out or anything else. There is no "easy" way to bring a child into the world. You do what is right for you.
Amen sister!
I also have a hard time with my "friends" saying - "I'm going to go natural. Having a c/s is the absolute worst thing in the world." Listen it wasn't a cake walk. I tried for 48 hours. I tried. My kidneys and child had a different idea of what the "worst thing in the world" was and my OB agreed. After 48 hours of pitocin/cytotec labor, my c/s was really a GREAT birth experience for me.
So please don't ask me "Are you having another c/s?" in the same tone you would ask about me committing a crime. And please don't follow that up with "Why? Do you really need to?". Yes, I have a medical reason but even if I didn't-- you would have NO room to judge.
I get what you are saying..but only to a point.
Should a woman be made to feel badly about having a c/s for a TRUE medical reason (baby would not fit, fetal distress, breech, mom has a medical issue such as PIH)? Of course not. However, women that choose c/s because their MD tells them "baby is big" or some other scare tactic get the side eye from me. I think everyone needs to educate themselves when pregnant. Not just blindly trust one MD.
Personally, I DO feel less of a woman for having a c/s, but I fully realize that I have some issues surrounding my son's birth still. I do think that how ever your baby exited your body is special and important. You are still a mother.
I do find it upsetting that some women are told by physicans that they will not allow them to attempt a VBAC. The liability in our country is insane. I am in Germany and even as they wheeled me into the OR (c/s was because my son got tachycardic and I got a fever) they said I could attempt a VBAC if I had another child.
So, bottom line..good for you, but not all of us can feel that way.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
I think it sucks that anyone would make anyone else feel bad for any kind of birth they choose. It's not really their business. Around here c/s are so common you're the odd man out if you don't have one; a lunatic if you have a natural birth. I'm sorry other people are bothering you about it. My only beef with others' c/s is that they are so common the rest of us have to practically fight to not have one.
i'm with ya! my Dr's already told me i'd have to have a repeat C/S for the next baby so i'm mentally prepared for it! not only that but i'm built like a boy with no hips!
who cares...i just don't pay attention to those who judge...because chances are they just don't talk about things they'd be afraid to be judged about!