Childacre freak out

naflmj

Sorry if this is long, just wondering if any of you who have a toddler + multiples have been in a similar situation.

DS has been in daycare since 10 weeks, we changed daycares around 9 months because we weren't happy with the care. He LOVES his daycare and his friends and asks about them on the weekends too. She initially thought her part time assistant would eb able to go full time so we could send him and the twins when the time came but the woman decided she doesn't want a full time position. I've thought of changing daycares but after the nightmare with his first provider, that isn't an option and a center is more than we can really afford at this point. That leaves up with a nanny. I am more than happy to get a nanny, it would make life so much easier, and will end up being a bit less expensive (score) but I can't help but feel I am ruining DS's life. He is going to go from having 2 other toddlers to play with all day to basically being consumed by his infant brothers. We can't send him to daycare and afford a nanny and the preschool doesn't accept kids until 2.9 and he won't be quite old enough in the fall (only time the ones I like do enrollment).

Have any of you changed your toddlers child care arrangements when the babies came along and how'd it go? Please tell me I am freaking out for no reason, or be honest and give some suggestions to help with this for him. I know all 2nd time moms go through some guilt but I really am so sad for him.

orange682

We looked at switching DD to another center, because it was much cheaper to send all 3 to another school, but ultimately we refused to take DD out of her preschool.  We knew she would have to make a ton of changes because of the boys and we didn't want her to resent them.  Keep in mind DD was 3.5 when the boys were born, so she's a little bit older. 

Have you considered getting the nanny and maybe sending your son to some program a few times a week just to get interactin with other toddlers? 

naflmj

orange682:

We looked at switching DD to another center, because it was much cheaper to send all 3 to another school, but ultimately we refused to take DD out of her preschool.  We knew she would have to make a ton of changes because of the boys and we didn't want her to resent them.  Keep in mind DD was 3.5 when the boys were born, so she's a little bit older. 

Have you considered getting the nanny and maybe sending your son to some program a few times a week just to get interactin with other toddlers? 

I so wish I could afford to send him to his daycare but it's not an option. I am looking to see if there is an option closer to home that he may be able to go a few days a week and then transition to preschool. He will start preschool the following year so I don't want too many transitions.

missfire

When the twins were born, I was planning to take DS out and stay home with them all. He has some best friends at his center and I felt so bad to take him out. I know how you feel. It ended up not working out for us and all three of them are now in the center part time. But one of DS's friends is now home with his mom and new sister, and we still get together for playdates. It is working out really well for them. 

I think part-time would be my ideal situation for DS. But either way, you won't be ruining his life! The last year went so fast for us! If DS is home with a nanny for a year before some kind of preschool starts, he will adjust fine. Do what you can to spend some alone time with him still, and get him out to socialize with other kids, but don't be too hard on yourself about the compromises. It has been amazing to see my DS become a big brother - he loves his siblings!