Horrid week -- Venting ladies sorry :(

Julie581

I can't believe what a frustrating and horrible week this has been. My putting up with crap level has been seriously tested in the last few days. First my mom dropped by on Monday. No biggie since I knew she was coming. What I didn't know was that she was bringing friends I've never met with her. We were busy all last week and weekend, so the house was kinda a mess. I was still in my pj's when they showed up. So I got to stand there and play nice with strangers in my night clothes, while mom decided it was the perfect time to ask me how the baby making was going. She knows that I've only told her and another close friend (who I know will keep her mouth shut) about what's going. I wanted to slap her! I just said I have my next appt. next week and tried to change the conversation. Her friends decided to put in there 2 cents (which is still overpriced), including one asking me if we were "doing it correctly". I didn't know there was a wrong, but apparently there is. John realized that I was getting pissed and made up an appt that we had to get to so they would leave. When I called her later that night to tell her how much that upset she said "oh, I didn't realize that just cause you weren't telling people I couldn't. I've been asking everyone for advice for you." I told her not to mention it or ask me about it again. I'll let her know if I ever pregnant, but otherwise it's absolutely none of her business and hung up. 

Tuesday we were at the dentists for John's appointment. He was having a tooth pulled so it took a while. There was a woman in the waiting room with her teenage daughter. The girl was being a typical teen, nothing bad, I kinda liked her. Her mother however.... well, after a while she looks at me and asked if I had kids, I said no and went back to my magazine. She decided to continue telling me that I shouldn't rush to have children, and enjoy all the free time I have since I don't have spend it chasing after kids, blah, blah, blah. Finally I looked at her and said I have infertility and am seeking treatment so that I can have kids. Nothing would make me happier. Then she asks me if that's a side effect from an abortion. I think I have a small bruise from where my jaw hit. She said that it was a known fact that people who have abortions always have a hard time getting pregnant again and that if hadn't one in the first I'd be able to get pregnant whenever I wanted. I've never had an abortion!! I had to leave the office before something bad happened. John found me in the car crying when he came out about 20 mins later.

Then yesterday I was venting a bit about on my FB page only get to told that I needed to adopt, then God would decide I had enough love in my heart to have a child. Even though the woman telling me this never adopted and has 3 kids of her own. I guess she must be a perfect little child of God since she didn't have to prove her worth. Another was kind enough to tell me that I needed to have a D&C done. Apparently since it helped her sister that's the only treatment available today that will help. Then yet another came along to tell that the docs told her she'd never have one and now she has 3 so not to listen them at all. I just need to give it time. Apparently being married for 15 years without ever using BC isn't long enough.

So now I know that I can't talk to my mom about this cause she can't keep her trap shut, and I can't do any type of venting about this on FB or else I'll get told a bunch of BS. There isn't a single woman that I know personally that has had to deal with this. I figured out months ago I couldn't talk to MIL cause she gives me "are you sure something's wrong, or is it just that it hasn't happened for you yet?" However, when my SIL was having her midlife crisis and had to have another baby so she could stay young forever it was just tragic that it took her 8 months to get pregnant with her third kid. 

Now the only one left that I can talk to him my husband. I don't think I could get more alone if I moved to Siberia. Usually I have a pretty thick skin and I can ignore this crap, but this time it's just too much. I don't know if I've finally reached my breaking point or if the clomid is still effecting me, but I'm just about ready to crack. Since I did O last week there's a slight possibility that I may be pregnant so I can't even get drunk!! Is it the weekend yet? 

Sorry for the mini-novel post everyone.  Hope you're week was better than mine! *hugs*

 

 

 

 

 

XV11Star

OMG!!  Julie, you poor thing!    

I can completely relate, I've had a $hitty week as well, with a lot of those 'really???  this too?" situations.  It must mean we are due for something fabulous?   Ok in all reality I have all but given up on that notion too...would love to be proved wrong so you go right ahead and do that ok??  ;-) 

My heart goes out to you.  Praying that you ARE pregnant this cycle to make it all worth it.  Big hug. 

brooklynesque

I'm sorry.  I'm always amazed at how thoughtless people can be.  Good luck with your Clomid cycle!

Julie581

Thank girls I really appreciate it. If I'm not pregnant this month, then the doc wants me to try two more cycles before checking to see if my tubes are blocked. My tests didn't show me having PCOS, but she thinks I have a mild case of it. I did my ovulation predictor thingies so I know that I did ovulate this time so at least that's progress   

Honestly, I think my hubby deserves an award for being so calm and sweet with me this week. He keeps looking at me like I'm a bomb about ready to go off, but still hugs when I cry. He's the best pain in the ass a girl could hope for lol I have a feeling I'll be buying him that new riding lawn mower he wants next summer! hehe

happywifemomofone

Wow....that is quite a week.  I'm glad that you've found this board. We've all had our difficult weeks, months and even years.  Hoping that this is your lucky cycle.  iF sucks and it's very random and unfair.  (((hugs)))

Mrs.McIrish

I am so sorry all those people were so awful to you! I cannot believe the dentist woman asking about abortions. Who does that? Ugh.

Clomid can totally make you crazy so your emotions are definitely running higher than normal.  I did want to ask if you were seeing an OB or RE?  I'm concerned that she gave you clomid and wants to do 2 more rounds BEFORE an HSG.  The tubal issue should be resolved first as you are wasting your time if your tubes are blocked.  I'm guessing it is an OB that suggested this to you??? Please do the HSG now. Also, why does she think you have PCOS?  You can get a definitive answer through bloodwork and an ultrasound. I'd hate for you to be getting crappy care so that is why I am asking all this.

Hugs.

KGS2003

(((Huge Hugs))) I hope the upcoming week is a much better one for you. 

MelleTX

Mrs.McIrish:

I am so sorry all those people were so awful to you! I cannot believe the dentist woman asking about abortions. Who does that? Ugh.

Clomid can totally make you crazy so your emotions are definitely running higher than normal.  I did want to ask if you were seeing an OB or RE?  I'm concerned that she gave you clomid and wants to do 2 more rounds BEFORE an HSG.  The tubal issue should be resolved first as you are wasting your time if your tubes are blocked.  I'm guessing it is an OB that suggested this to you??? Please do the HSG now. Also, why does she think you have PCOS?  You can get a definitive answer through bloodwork and an ultrasound. I'd hate for you to be getting crappy care so that is why I am asking all this.

Hugs.

THIS. All of this. If you have been just seeing an OB, please go see an RE and have the HSG done first.

I am so sorry you have had a crap week. I cannot believe how ignorant some people are about infertility and how insensitive. A side-effect of an abortion??? Really???? How does that explain some women that have multiple abortions???

You need cupcakes. And wine. And a hug.

Here... (((HUGS))) 

kat1221

Holy Crap!  So sorry, that's rough!

Some people are just ridiculous.

Hope you have a better weekend and hang in there!

irishgirl0525

OH I am so sorry to read all of this. No one should have to deal with any of this.  Every single person you mentioned (except for your husband) is completely ridiculous. 

I agree with the ladies urging you to go to an RE asap and get that HSG done sooner than later.

Big Hugs to you. (((Hugs)))

Amyaggie97

That is bad.  I hope you have a much better week next week.  (((Hugs)))

mtlaurel

Holy sh!t, I would have smacked that woman in the dentist's office!

I'm so sorry that you've had such a rough week. Know that you can vent away  here and you will not be subject to such inane responses.

Hang in there.

MAtoNC

How much can one woman take? I am so sorry about this week!

chitwngal2010

wow people are a$$holes! hopefully you get pregnant this cycle tell them all to suck it!

Llamamama

Wow.  First of all, how incredibly rude of your mom to bring her friends to your house unannounced!  As a person who is a mortified when my house is out of order and guests arrive I feel your pain!  And for your mom to just start talking about such a personal and private subject as if it was the weather? 

The abortion lady needs a mental evaluation.  I can't imagine anyone saying that to a person--much less a total stranger!  Not only is it no one's business but to hear that someone is infertile and then try to blame THEM for something that  could have caused it is unthinkable! 

And finally the "Just give it time" and "God's plan" stuff needs to be stopped.  I know people think they are saying something reassuring but it really is not helpful.  

 Big hugs to you.  Good luck!  

 

winidpu

So sorry about your crappy week. I do hope it gets better and the Clomid does the trick for you this month. Hang in there.

Julie581

Right now I'm just seeing an OB. The insurance we have sucks!! It's won't cover anything relating to infertility at all. So right now I'm doing what I can this way so that I don't have to spend a bunch of money on other stuff. She thinks that it might be PCOS because I do have a few of the symptoms, but the blood work all came back normal. She said that I have to remember that just because it looks normal, doesn't mean that this isn't the problem. Normal doesn't exist. Story of my life right there lol 

Thanks again everyone! I'm so glad I've got all you to vent to about this stuff. Otherwise I'd go out of mind!! I mean I know I'm slightly crazy, but haven't gone off the deep end yet  

 

Bubs711

Wow.  Just wow.  I can't believe how rude some people are.  I am so sorry you had to be on the receiving end of that rudeness.  {{{HUGS}}}

Julie581

Thanks again everyone! You're the best!  *hugs* Got my appt. Thursday so here's hoping for good news!!