separation issues

kastle

sprout is going through a *very* clingy phase.  when daddy's home, sprout refuses to be separated from him.  when daddy's not around, he's asking where he is (at least, I'm assuming he's asking where he is.  sprout just says "papa?" and tries to open the door or look out the window for him).

when daddy's not around, he's less clingy on me but he still doesn't want me out of his sight.  which makes daycare drop off difficult.  he likes daycare; when i pick him up he's laughing & running around & having a great time.

will this just pass on it's own or is there something we can do to reassure him?

QueSrah

Separation anxiety comes in waves, and I think 18 mos. is a bad one.  As far as I know, you just have to wait it out.

vtkgirl77

QueSrah:

Separation anxiety comes in waves, and I think 18 mos. is a bad one.  As far as I know, you just have to wait it out.

I agree with this. DD#1 had it for a few weeks and it had me so worried that she didn't like daycare, that she wasn't being treated right, etc. I just tried to make drop-offs quick (no long drawn out goodbyes) and then it eventually passed. Now she's excited to go to DC again.

Hang in there though. It isn't easy. 

Hey Jellisy

When DD went through this, I called DCP a few times to make sure DD was OK, and she always told me that DD stopped crying within a few minutes of my departure and started playing nicely.  I think the show is sometimes for your benefit at drop off.  I agree with VTKendra, don't draw out drop off.  Do it quick and be sure to say good bye. 

 

kastle

I'll try to be quicker.  The bottom lip starts quivering as I'm taking him out of the car seat (he ain't no fool...he knows what's about to happen!) and he tries to be brave & hold it together (muffled whimpering. so pathetic!) & then...he just starts bawling.

breaks my heart!  even though I know he'll be fine.

Resolution: Make drop offs quicker.

WinesNotWhines

That sounds normal to me. M has been extra clingy lately, too, but more toward me than DH. When he asks for your DH, do you try to tell him "Papa is at work, but he'll be home soon." I'd also consider showing him some photos of DH and see if that makes him feel better. M likes looking at photos of us.

DH does daycare drop-offs, and when M is having a particularly difficult morning, they give him a couple of crackers and he usually calms down a little. I know we probably shouldn't bribe with food, but it works.

kastle

WinesNotWhines:

That sounds normal to me. M has been extra clingy lately, too, but more toward me than DH. When he asks for your DH, do you try to tell him "Papa is at work, but he'll be home soon." I'd also consider showing him some photos of DH and see if that makes him feel better. M likes looking at photos of us.

DH does daycare drop-offs, and when M is having a particularly difficult morning, they give him a couple of crackers and he usually calms down a little. I know we probably shouldn't bribe with food, but it works.

I do tell him papa is at work & will come home later when it's dark.  will try photos.

this morning DCP asked if he wanted a banana (favorite food EVER) and he said in the saddest most pathetic little voice "no! mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"  She had toys ready for him & everything, but no go.

 

WinesNotWhines

kastle:

this morning DCP asked if he wanted a banana (favorite food EVER) and he said in the saddest most pathetic little voice "no! mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"  She had toys ready for him & everything, but no go.

 

Aww that's sad.   If it helps, I'm sure he's fine within 5 minutes after you leave. You can always call DCP when you get home to be sure, but I think it's the transition that's difficult, and once he gets settled, he's fine.

I also have another thought: I know some people think it's best to make drop-offs as quick as possible, but sometimes our drop-offs go more smoothly if we hang out for a few minutes before leaving, get M engaged in playing with something, etc. It depends on the day and his mood.

Sofka

it's very normal; try to enjoy it because, before you know it, he'll be saying "go away, mama"