Update on Adopting a Seriously Ill Child

nykimac

Hi! I posted awhile back but I just wanted to say hello and say a little bit about our situation. 

My husband and I have one biological 10 month old baby girl named Zoe. We had planned on adopting an older child and then changed our mind and decided that we would have another bio baby and then once they got older we would adopt a sibling group. Right after we decided this we found out about a baby in a local hospital that no one will adopt. He had a really serious heart defect that means he could die at any second or he could live for quite awhile. They didn't start doing the current treatment until the 80's so some people with this are in their late 20's and they are not sure what the long term prognosis for someone with this disease would be. After hearing about this baby my husband and I both felt like we should pursue this baby and just see where it lead us.

 We ended up talking to the county we're in and they told us that we would have to finish the licensing process (we had started it a couple months ago). The lady on the phone did tell us that if we were somehow in contact with the birth mom and could find out the baby's name we could possibly do a kinship adoption and they might be able to speed up the process. Our friend is a nurse and she is the one who told us about the situation. After getting off the phone with the county we talked to our friend who told us that she had already given the birth mom our information and the birth mom told her that she wanted us to know what agency she was going through. We called today and left a message with the agency and we're hoping they will get back to us tomorrow. 

 Finding him seemed so hopeless at first with all of the hoops we would have to jump through with confidentiality but it seems so close now (to being connected, not necessarily adopting him). 

This is still definitely in the beginning stages and I keep telling myself not to get too attached to the idea. It's just hard to know that he's in the hospital, healthy enough to go home but 4 failed adoptions later he's still there.

 Well that turned into a long introduction. Thanks for reading!  

Jenn is Silly

Thanks for keeping us posted.  I'm praying for this little guy, and for your family!

CaptainSerious

I think it's awesome you are trying to learn more about the situation to determine if you should go forward with this, so thanks for updating.  I hope you saw my response to your previous post, because I didn't see it until late, but I added some thoughts based on my own experience (my son had cardiac surgery within weeks of coming home).

715inNC

Thanks for keeping us updated, I had been curious about how things were going!

 

Good Luck to you guys as you move through the process 

Cristine

I'm so glad you gave us an updated. I hope you have many more in the future Good Luck!

MummyGruetzie

I saw your last post several days after you made it and paged you on here the other day. Our journey with DD started with finding out a tiny bit of info and having to know that she was okay. Ultimately, going through the local social services (which did not have custody) was the most efficient route. They allowed us to do training and a home-study through them and then transferred it all to the other county who had custody. I'm pretty sure that's not standard, but there were some pretty extreme circumstances involved and it might be worth a shot. From inquiry to coming home, it took took less than 3 months for everything (including background checks). It was a combination of everybody working very hard to make the scheduling work, us dotting every i we possibly could, and a miracle in the works. If we had continued to pursue an agency adoption, the time frame to bring DD home would have been so much longer and pretty much everyone agrees that DD wouldn't have survived the wait. That time and her coming home is such a whirlwind when I look back on it. Feel free to PM if you ever need need someone to "talk" to. 

Katybug_h

Thanks for updating. If you don't mind me asking, what type of heart condition does he have? I was born in the early 80s with a congenital heart condition, and had my first surgery at 12 days old.  At the time, the surgical procedure was very new, and i was given a 5% chance of surviving the surgery.

I'm in my late 20s now, and have had about 12 heart surgeries (including two valve replacements). I live a pretty normal life, and at times forget that I even have a condition.  I applaud you and your hubby for taking the chance with this little baby. He will truly be blessed to have you as parents!

Keep us posted!