Upset.. NBR... Long

julesjarvais65

This is kinda a vent, kinda not... Just kinda me getting out my feelings about some things. Sorry kinda rambled lol

My husband is in the Marines, and when we got married at the end of 2010, we did it at the courthouse and planned on having our big wedding on July 21 this year. We did it this way so we could get on base housing, for me to be covered under his benefits, and wanted to do it before he deployed. July 21 is my grandparents anniversary and I looked up to them and their relationship more than anything. My grandma died 3 weeks after their 50th anniversary a little over 5 years ago now. My grandma was probably my biggest female role model growing up, and I lived with them for a while when I was a kid. Everyone in my family will tell you I was my grandma's little girl lol.

Well now my grandpa has had cancer for a couple years, and has had no treatment. He made that decision because he watched his brother struggle with fighting cancer for 5 years and ended up dying from it. He has been ready to go since my grandma died, and just wanted to enjoy the end of his life. My grandpa is still going pretty good at this point, his cancer is very slow growing. My uncle (my dad's brother), was diagnosed with Stage 4 reno blastoma a couple years ago, which at that point was basically untreatable. Well, there was a trial thing that he did that thankfully got rid of it completely, but now it is back. Him and my grandpa are both slowly getting worse, which sucks.

With our tax returns this year, we both need new tires on our vehicles, we are taking a trip in March to go see both of our families, and we need to get our dog spayed. And with me not working for a couple months after LO is born, things aren't financially set for us to do our big wedding. My husband's cousin is also a Marine (basically like his big brother and best friend) and will be deployed during the time the wedding would've been this year, his older brother and wife and niece wouldn't be able to afford it in July, and neither would his parents. Who knows about my family either.

All I've wanted was to have my dad walk me down the aisle and have that dream wedding that every girl dreams about. I know we can probably do it in a few years, but everyone we know that's done this has said that and never ended up having their big wedding. I just feel like its never gonna happen, and I know that IF and when it does happen, my grandpa and my uncle won't be there. I'm just a little upset. Ugh, sometimes I hate how life gets in the way of things

fyrefairie

I'm sorry-I'd be upset too.  Is there something you can do that is nice and affordable and something between the courthouse and your dream wedding?  Parent's backyard or some such.  We have a "rose garden" at a local park and because its run by the city its like $50 to rent; my friends got married there and it was really pretty but clearly cost-friendly.  IDK, just tossing ideas around.

julesjarvais65

Well we live in NC, my parents live in WI, and his is NY. We had planned from the beginning to do it here so it wouldn't be unfair to one family or the other to have to travel and such and the other to not have to. If they lived close to each other, one of our parents backyards would probably be a great idea lol. But thats not much of an option...

fyrefairie

Sorry...maybe try a local board on the knot and see if anyone in your area knows of some nearly-free but lovely venues?  I know we have some where I am so its possible

Indiechixor

I can TOTALLY get you on this.

My husband wanted to go with me to Korea (Air Force) so we got married in the courthouse, and said at our 5-year anniversary we'll have a "real" wedding.

Well, this November will be our 5th and between kids, work and saving for the kids, I doubt we'll get our dream wedding we wanted.

Maybe at our 10-year? 

megaloo27

If you do a lot of DIY you can find some way to get your dream wedding. Ours was under $1000 and I had everything I wanted. We borrowed tables and chairs from a church, I made all the decorations, my dress was very simple but elegant. It is a lot easier in my opinion to have a cheap summer wedding because you can find parks and outside venues for really cheap or free. Look into national state parks. It is going to mean a lot more work, especially with a LO, but it is possible. I also did all of this long distance because we got married in the town I grew up in. I just wanted to encourage you that it can be done.