- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Attachment Parenting
30 y/o with PCOS
HSG normal, SA essentially normal (slightly low morph but good # and motility)
50 mg Clomid...zip; 100 mg Clomid...nada; 150 mg Clomid...zilch
1/10 Injectable cycle with Gonal-F, Ovidrel, and TI.....Beta 2/22...BFN
2/10 Injectable cycle with Gonal-F and Follistim (long story), Ovidrel..BFN
4/10 Injectable cycle (see above). BFP but early m/c 5w5d.
5/10 Break cycle due to BFC (Big Fat Cyst)...darn it all
6/10 Injectable cycle +IUI...BFN
7/10 Injectable cycle + IUI.....BFP!!!
desperate for some help
Hi. I'm mainly a lurker here, especially since I had my baby, but I'd love some advice.
My baby is 8 months and 3 weeks old. He's a fabulous baby who is very happy when awake. Around 2 months old he started sleeping 5-6 hours at night, nursing, and then sleeping for another 3-4 hours. At 3 months I went back to work and it was like having a newborn again...up every 1-2 hours. I thought it was due to the major changes in our routine but it never improved!
He started out in an Arms Reach co-sleeper but my husband snored VERY loudly and was sleeping in another room on an air mattress...and eventually the baby and I started to bedshare. He finally got a CPAP machine and tried to come back to bed, but baby and I were so used to co-sleeping that it didn't go well.
We have a queen bed but my husband is a HEAVY sleeper and a larger man so we don't have enough room to safely bedshare with the three of us in the bed.
Baby and I are great when we bedshare...he wakes up every 1-3 hours to nurse and goes right back to sleep and I can function at work the next day. But, my husband and I need to be back in the same room...I'm starting to feel like we're housemates rather than a married couple. Also, if he were in the same room it might be possible for him to try to soothe Baby to sleep so that he's not ALWAYS needing to nurse to get back to sleep.
I breastfeed, cloth diaper, make my own baby food, babywear, and I'm trying to be as AP as possible. I just don't know what to do. We've considered putting his crib mattress on the floor in our room so I can nurse him back to sleep but leave him in his own space. Buying a king mattress could be an option but the queen is new and we don't really have the room. He hates sleeping in a Pack n play or his crib at night (naps are a toss-up). We could leave it as is but then my husband and I are back to being housemates.
I just don't know what to do, and I feel like trying different things so often isn't helping the situation at all, and I'm at that point where people are telling me I'm crazy and I've done this to myself by "letting" him sleep with me.
30 y/o with PCOS
HSG normal, SA essentially normal (slightly low morph but good # and motility)
50 mg Clomid...zip; 100 mg Clomid...nada; 150 mg Clomid...zilch
1/10 Injectable cycle with Gonal-F, Ovidrel, and TI.....Beta 2/22...BFN
2/10 Injectable cycle with Gonal-F and Follistim (long story), Ovidrel..BFN
4/10 Injectable cycle (see above). BFP but early m/c 5w5d.
5/10 Break cycle due to BFC (Big Fat Cyst)...darn it all
6/10 Injectable cycle +IUI...BFN
7/10 Injectable cycle + IUI.....BFP!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: desperate for some help
It sounds like he has reversed cycled - meaning he is getting his nutrition from eating at night instead of during the day. My LO did this when I went back to work, and I only went back part time!
Kellymom.com has some good info on reverse cycling. I never did anything to change it - and DH and I have just suffered through not sleeping together. He wakes up all the time and can't fall back asleep, so he sleeps on the futon.
Can you sidecar the crib? We did that, and there is *plenty* of room in bed for us, but DH is such a light sleeper it still doesn't work for him.
I did think about reverse cycling but a good bit of his nursing at night seems to be non-nutritive, and he eats/drinks plenty during the day. I'm okay with the night waking when we bed share. It's the nights where I feel bad for my husband and try to transition him to a PNP or crib when I'm miserable. He wakes and wants to reach for Mommy and nurse a bit...and then he's right back to sleep. If he doesn't get that, though...he starts to wail (and he's not a crier otherwise). When we bedshare I get to see him laugh in his sleep and wake up clapping and smiling. I think I feel a bit guilty because I really do love bedsharing, but I feel like I should be more proactive about getting us our bed back and teaching him how to sleep (although my gut says it's working for him right now and he'll figure it out one day).
I should mention that he has had several things that I think have made it even harder for him to sleep...bad eczema (we're finally going to see an allergist to at least rule out food allergies), a few colds (yay daycare), and teething.
I don't have a lot of advice for you because we didn't BS full time, but I want to encourage you by saying you DID NOT do this to yourself :-) All babies are different and all have different sleep habits, and if you were BSing to get some sleep and it worked, then you probably did the right thing. I can understand though how you are ready to have your DH back in bed with you. I also want to remind you that being an attached parent isn't about doing a laundry list of things, but rather a mindset of how you choose to raise your child. I agree with PP that sidecarring the crib, or putting his crib mattress on the floor might be a nice idea to try. We did a floor bed from 8-11 months or so, and it was great for getting him back to sleep at night, or even to take a nap during the day. The ONLY reason we went back to the crib was because he was crawling off the bed in his sleep and waking up disoriented and unable to go back to napping. Would your DS sleep in his crib the first part of the night so you can have at least some time with your DH? As you get closer to a year, you could start to reduce night feedings some (if you are comfortable doing so), so he isn't waking as often. Definitely check Kellymom for some advice!
Good luck, and I hope you can find a solution you are all happy with!
Thanks. I know in my heart I've done the right things for us, but sometimes I second guess myself. My husband isn't even giving me a hard time although I know he'd love to get off the air mattress! But, I think he's starting to wonder if we've destined Baby for a lifetime of difficulty sleeping. Baby won't sleep more than 45 minutes to 1 hour in his crib or PNP.
Maybe we'll try the side car or floor bed idea. I know he's only a baby for so long. I honestly treasure our time together, esp. since I work during the day.
As you mentioned, you've done what's right for you and I think that's important.
My DS was the same way, but fortunately my DH had no problem bed sharing. We also tried and tried all sorts of different things and it was only until around 16 months that we started seeing the sleep improve and only 2-3 wake-ups a night. We're still at 1-3 wake ups a night, though now usually we get solid sleep from 8pm to 2am (sometimes 5am). It'll come when your LO is ready! Hang in there and you can plan other thinsg with your DH... hang out and cuddle on the couch, go to a movies and make out like high schoolers, etc...