One more round of IVF or move on to adoption?

arbutusbride

DH and I have been through 1.5 IVF (first IVF did not get to ET due to lack of quality embryos so we did another cycle to get more) and so we are at a crossroads.  He wants to do another IVF cycle since we have one frozen embryo but I am leaning towards moving on to adoption.  I have had 3 CPs over the last two years and not sure I could emotionally handle another one.  

I would love to be pregnant but I have a strong feeling that it just won't happen. DH is optimistic but I am not feeling as confident.I know the adoption process is a journey with highs and lows but I want to at least get started with the process.

 How did you decide to move away from IF treatments and on to adoption?  Was it a financial decision or did you just decide that you had enough with IF treatments?  Did anybody pursue both IF treatments and adoption?

 

Dr.Loretta

I had 3 m/c's, all early, and 2 without medical intervention. I started thinking that, no matter what sort of IF treatment we had, there was no guarantee I would stay pregnant. And I had already taken a break because the thought of seeing my RE was giving me anxiety attacks. DH was very supportive and said it was up to me since I was the one undergoing all the poking and prodding. That said, it still took hiim another 6 months to become comfortable with all aspects of adoption.

It was somewhat of a financial decision. IF treatment would have been covered 90% by DH's insurance, but we wanted to be sure we had the $ for the match fee required by the agency we chose. To do that, we had to sell a rental property.

Our agency required that you stop IF treatments before starting with them. Their philosophy was that they wanted people to focus on one process or the other. That said, this is not a universal thing with agencies, and agencies aren't the only way to adopt. There are people on here who have pursued both avenues at the same time. Hopefully they'll chime in.

Welcome and post often.

Ambie0611

Hi and Welcome!

Our decision to start the adoption process, finally, was a financial and emotional choice for us - the cost for our type of IVF would have been about 14k with no gaurantee and if it didn't work, we would have had to pay another 14k to do another one - we have to use donor sperm and I am MTHFR, so I have a higher chance of MC. The 14K with no gaurantee was way too much money and our insurance doesn't cover ANY treatments or medications. And personally, I did not feel comfortable with using donor sperm and was so scared of MC.

Our agency does allow you to go through IF treatmeants at the same time that you are applying to adopt, but we aren't doing that.  Also, the cost with our agency is 18K when it is all said and done. I know that is the same price as two IVF cycles since we are paying for the adoption out of pocket (of course), but adoption for us and our situation just makes so much more sense.

Good Luck to you and your DH in whatever you decide. Just listen to your heart and you will know which choice is right for you.

 

silliestbunny

I've not been in your position so take this for what it's worth... but what about a break?  I understand how tired you must be.... I also understand DH's hope that the frozen embryo  might "be the one".  Maybe if you stepped back for a few months you could either get on board w/one more try or he could be ready to move on.

You are in a tough position... I feel for you.

WillisReincarnated

We decided to postpone fertility treatments and move on to adoption because I was tired of putting my body through it.  I couldn't handle it anymore; I just wanted to be a mom.  

We cycled again after my son was born.  Twice actually.  No luck.  Then the opportunity came up for our daughter, and we knew it was meant to be.  So we proceeded with adoption number 2.

I still have a frostie.  We will use it at some point.  

For me, pursuing adoption wasn't closing down the option of experiencing pregnancy.  But in all likelihood, I won't experience it.  And I'm ok with it.  Mainly because I have a super awesome family now .

I just thought I'd throw my perspective out there, since it tends to be different. 

arbutusbride

We are moving to a new state in the next few weeks so we will not be doing any treatments for a while until we are settled.  I plan to meet with new doctors but am also looking into adoption agencies in the area.  I want to have as much information as possible before making a decision.