What to do for a friend...Need Advice

jj_sbride

Hi Ladies,
First of all, I am so very sorry for your own losses.
You are all so very brave.

I've come to ask a question.
I just found out tonight that a very close family friend of ours lost their 5th baby while in labor.
I am just absolutely heartbroken for them.

Was there any gift, momento, donation to a cause, anything that you truly appreciated receiving in your time of grieving?
Also if you have other living children, was there something they received that was appreciated/thoughtful?
Something that the children can do to have an outlet, like planting a tree?

We will be bringing over food as needed and my husband who is a pastor may be helping with the service.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you ladies....

pottermommy

The link at the top of the page has alot of suggestions to things that were done or have been done for each of us.  The biggest thing I can say is just be there to listen or to not listen if she wants to be alone,

Balnkets with the baby's name, jewelry with the birthdate, a star named after lo, planting a tree or a perineal garden with the kids.....

Don't shy away from using babies name I think is a big thing.  Most women feel better by acnowledging their child not ignoring them so when talking abou the baby use LO's name.

I am sorry for the loss and feel free to direct her here if she ever needs support or just somewhere to vent. 

lrichmond86

I agree with PP... Don't be afraid to use the baby's name.  I know when people say baby Gary's name I feel better than when they say "the baby".  That being said, after our loss, I got really sick of getting flower deliveries.  I know they were well intended, but it was just like one reminder after another of the funeral (I hate the smell of lillies for this reason).  My favorite thing that we received was a gift card to a garden center to buy a tree to plant for baby Gary.  For some reason, it made me feel good to know a part of him would always be growing with our family (it sounds cheesy, I know).  I'm so sorry for your friend's loss and I hope that she finds healing over time.

MyOrdinaryLife

My mom bought me a beautiful locket that was inscribed with his birthday and the phrase, "He planted trees under which he did not intend to sit."  Meaning his existence made memories he knew he would not be around to see.  I am not religious, but that quote has deep meaning for me.

jj_sbride

Thank you ladies for the help.
I really appreciate it.