Dividing attention between both children

090106

When I am with the boys by myself, I find it hard to divide my attention evenly between them both to keep interacting with both of them. They are complete opposites and don't usually ever play with the same thing at the same time. I could be playing choo-choo's with one and the other will come over and be jealous and stop all over the track or throw the trains and then the one playing has a meltdown and the other is having a tantrum because I'm scolding him.

How do you divide your time and/or deal with the jealous tantrums/meltdowns?

 

UsedToBeGoldie

you just do the best you can. I've got 3 to deal with and they do so many different things... so when one is doing something he's really into and doesn't need help- i'll do something with the other 2, etc...

it gets easier as they get older and can play more on their own and together.

ziene77

Gosh I wish I had some good advice I hav my 3+ months olds & I am already running into this issue.  I think on my part I feel guily as I cannot give each baby the attention that I know they need & would get if they were a singleton we try our best & when my DH is home it's sooooo much better.

jenkm

Try not to feel guilty.  Your kids are too little to understand calculating equal mommy time between them.  This is in your head, not theirs - they get the attention they need b/c they ask for it when they need it.  And any jealousy or anger they exhibit to the other needs to be corrected just like you're doing.  It's all good.

Try to engage them both in activities together to start encouraging play as a group.  I find crayons/drawing works, though it took a while for them to get it.  I sit them both in my lap and read to them.  We sing, do dumb dances, etc.  Bring them outside and chase each other around.  The more you engage them both, the less either will get jealous/bored and act out.

It is NOT easy!  But it does get easier.  GL!

erinruns

I feel like in the end, it all evens out.  Both of my girls have gone through phases where they are more in need of my attention.  A few months later, roles will reverse.  Now that they're older, I know their personalities better.  Delaney is very social and she loves to help me in the kitchen, so that's our time together.  Caden is more of an introvert and appreciates having that time to herself, but she's a snuggler so we cuddle up after dinner and hang out.  

My neighbor across the street has twin fraternal boys and we talk about this situation frequently.  I do think since my kids are girls and identical, their relationship and our relationship is different.  There is more yin and yang, so they rarely both want my attention at the same time.  And if they do, they are happy to share me. 

090106

Thank you for all your advice. I know I shouldn't feel guilty but as a mom, it's hard. I will try some of your suggestions and keep up with it and see how it goes.