wanting 2 under 2 - need encouragement

BrendaLou1969

Ok, My daughter is 8 months.  I'm ready to get pregnant with #2 (we have embryos waiting for us at the fertility clinic - I hate the thought that they are just sitting there, they deserve a chance at life too. Anyway, everyone on my husbands side thinks we are just STUPID.  My mom says I need to pray about it and I'll come up with the right solution and my dad tells me not to have another because he is too old to babysit two kids.  Thanks for the loving support family. 

My aunt had 7 kids in 8 years and they all turned out ok, actually better than ok.  They all have great jobs nice families etc.  My other aunt had 5 kids in 8 years and the other one had 8 kids in 10 years.  WHAT is the big deal?  I was raised with this.  There was always someone close in age to play with it was great. 

Please give me words of encouragment.

DustiRoseNY

Don't let others sway what you want!  I have 2u2 and love it.  It has its hard moments, but overall I look forward to everyday.  I feel a need a break so we won't have 3u3.  It is your decision.  Everyone said we were crazy too.  It didn't deter us and I don't regret it at all.  

 Good luck!   

kagl08

I have 2u2 and I love it! It's hard, but so worth it! Don't let other people's opinions sway your decision. It's YOUR family, so it's YOUR decision. We heard lots of "your crazy!" comments and now we get the "your busy" comments, but I don't care. 2u2 is awesome and we are happy with our family dynamic!

12bailey18

I wouldn't ask anyone their opinion. It has nothing to do with them. It's all up to you and your DH and what you want. We didn't tell anyone our plan and one day we just said Surprise! BFP! If we had told them what we wanted to do we would have gotten everyone's opinion, good or bad. 

howleyshell

Well... if your screen name is your year of birth I can share my similar experiences.

I too struggled with IF.  In a perfect world I would have had my FIRST child over 2 years earlier than I did but sometimes life doesn't work out the way we plan, huh?

When IF stepped in our original "plans" (ha!) of spacing them farther apart went out the window.

With my age and diagnosis my RE told me to wean fast and race back and even then it was unlikely we'd ever conceive again much less have a live birth out of it.

We did wean early and got lucky with an unmedicated conception.

Is it how I would have planned it?  Nope.  Has it been HARD sometimes?  Sure.

Would I have it any other way?  Helllll no!!

What the nay-sayers in your life don't understand is that with your age and IF situation the decision making process isn't fully yours.   Having dealt with treatments and IF I'm sure you're well aware that there are no promises that your first FET will take so that could prolong your time line as well, right?

 

You CAN do this.  

One of my favorite quotes from someone on these boards that I so wish I could credit but can't remember:  "You will NEVER regret a child you have but you may well regret one you don't."

If you were 35 you could wait.  

In your shoes I wouldn't wait.

 

I can also share with you as an older mom that having 2 close in age is WAY easier on you down the line physically.  My friends with only children are the ones who HAVE to be running, playing, skiing, sledding, playing soccer in the back yard, etc with their kids because there's no one else around to do it with them on a regular basis.

I choose to do those things with my kids but honestly they don't "need" me to because they can go do those things with their brother quite happily.

It's harder in the first few years but I really do think having 2 close in age is MUCH easier than having only 1 when they're older. 

 

WhitePicketFence

I got pregnant with #2 when DD1 was 9 months old. While DH's parents were thrilled (they raised 6 kids themselves), my parents were less than supportive from the beginning. They eventually came around after they had time to let the pregnancy sink in.

If you feel that you are ready for another and having 2u2 is what's best for your family, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

sweetpea2003

Assuming you don't depend on FIL to babysit, the only people who matter in this decision are you and your DH.

Everyone is going to have an opinion.  Fortunately, you don't need a permission slip from your family to go do an FET cycle and try to have another baby.

My kids are 16 months apart and it has been fine!  Challenging sometimes, wonderful sometimes, and hilarious sometimes.  We are making it work.  DO what makes you happy and is right for your family!

sparklenshine_89

My parents and in-laws were telling me to not have another baby while I was pregnant with my second (they didn't even know I was already pregnant)... now that I have my 2u2 everyone is completely happy and realized that I'm capable of making my own decisions.