Do you take things personally?

JenJar

DH and I talked about this over the weekend.  I never felt like I took things personally until we moved here, and it's causing me to feel more insecure.  I always made friends easily, loved the group of girls I met when we moved to NY, etc.  But I still feel like 'the new girl' here, even after 18 months.  I met a great group of girls that I connect with, but I still don't feel like the feeling is mutual with many of them.  When we get together, it still feels like I'm a newbie.  I don't know why I let it bother me so much, but it does.  For example, there are like 8 of us that are in a FB group to arrange playdates, etc. Well, one had a baby a couple weeks ago, and they arranged, via this group, meals for her for two weeks.  Only one of them brought me a meal.  I think I'm just really missing the close friendships I had in Ohio and NY.  There is one friend I've met here that I absolutely connect with, feel so comfortable around, and I feel like the feeling is mutual.  But, she works full-time, so I don't see her often, and they're already talking about moving back to their home state.  It just makes me sad.  I guess I just needed to vent, and thank you girls for listening.  I really appreciate this board. 

Telyco

Oh for sure...I had a great social life in college and after. But almost every single one if my friends moved away - for work or more school or just back closer to where they grew up. Then I met DH and I was working and we really liked to do things together in the weekend so i didn't push to meet new friends. Then I had a kid and then another so I just didn't join mommy and me stuff or whatever. Now we live in a new area and hopefully I can start taking Leah to more local activities. I have one friend up here (the wife of my DHs good friend) but its the type of thing where we wouldn't really be friends if our DHs weren't, kwim? I seem to attract high maintenance friends that need to get together a LOT and need to talk on the phone daily, etc...and I just don't have the time for that!

(I just tried the paragraph thing - did it work?) If you are longing for more, maybe try to go beyond the group and find some new things to take R to while G is in school..

TinyPinkBug

Yeah, I tend to pretend I don't notice things though, but I do.  I've never been one to have a lot of friends or super close friends, but I have always had a couple of good friends.  They have all moved away and most don't have or want kids, so we all lead very different lives now.  Right now, I have serious concentration issues.  It is like I simply lack the ability to remember what I am talking about once words start coming out, it is really bad and I am aware of it but have no idea what I could do to even begin changing it.  So I seem even stranger in person than online now.  Add in my kids' behavior, people don't like to be around me.  DH doesn't really have any friends either, that is more his choice.  While we are fairly content with things this way, I do get lonely and wish I could carry out a normal, adult conversation from time to time.  Which is actually why I really want to go back to work, I am very good at 10-15 minute conversations with strangers, or at least I used to be.

Irisheyes1247

I'm sorry Jen, that sounds tough and if I were in your shoes, I would have a hard time not comparing what was done for me vs what was done for the other girls. It is just so much harder to make friends when you are older. Although we have lived in Rochester for a while, neither DH nor I are from here originally and while we are still close with friends from home, it makes it hard not having a lot of people around us.

I try not to take things too personally, and generally act like I let things roll off my back, but that is not always how I feel.