Need advice.

mrs.dovey

Were any of you SAHMs before the separation? My H and I are having a lot of problems. I have no interest in staying other than for my kids. My problem is my closest family is two hours away, I have no job (have a BA, but couldn't find anything in this rat hole of a town), and have a 2y/o and one on the way. What are the first steps to take? H's family is insane, do they HAVE to have visitation? Will H have the capability of keeping DS? He has full custody of his 11 y/o, but only because she gave him up, but H says he will get DS since I do not have a job. I plan on contacting a lawyer Monday morning, but wanted to hear your thoughts and experiences.

sweetie0228

Only the father will have visitation who he chooses to share that time with is his business.  In most states there is no such thing as "grandparents rights"  the only time I've heard it actually successfully fought for was when the bio-parent is dead or incarcerated.

SAHM get residential/primary custody all the time and most of the time it's factored into the CS/Spousal support since it was part of your marriage contract that you stayed at home to raise the children.

Get your own lawyer and don't listen to any "legal threats" from anyone who doesn't have a law degree or your best interests at heart ...and then only take those opinions with a grain of salt. 

covertxxamour

First step is to contact a lawyer for any legal advice.

I believe it may be different in every state, but here in PA, you can go file for child support as the first move. Then they will set a court date to establish paternity (unless he won't argue that). Then they will set a court date for the child support itself. Here in PA, child support is completely separate from custody/visitation. So technically, you don't have to file anything for custody/visitation, unless you want to. If you don't, let him pursue it. 

As for him getting custody because you don't have a job.. I'd have to say that's BS. I'm not a lawyer by any means, but there's no way. That's what assistance and child support are for. Many mothers cannot afford to put their child in daycare in order to get a job. Most mothers would be working just to pay for daycare.

Good luck!

turtle1120

Custody will not be given to your STBXH because you don't have a job.  That's not how it works.  Don't listen to him.  Go see a lawyer and start figuring out what you're going to do.

mrs.dovey

Thanks ladies! I contacted a lawyer and have an appt to see him tomorrow.