Almost 2u2 but older DS isn't STTN..PLEASE HELP! (long)

lbarrera86

Hi all,

I rarely post on TB but I really need help. I am due with DS3 in late Feb. DS1 is 9 y/o and DS2 is 17 mos old. Anyway, DH and I have been somewhat cosleeping with DS2 and still to this day, he cannot go to sleep on his own and still wakes up in the middle of the night. I've tried CIObefore and it worked but then he started teething, got sick, and so I never really tried to let him CIO again cuz it was emotionally hard for me letting him CIO.

Here is our routine:

dinner, bath, lotion, change to PJs, brush his teeth, turn off hallway lights, say goodnight to his lovey, read a book, and go to sleep (on our bed)

Once he goes to sleep, I am able to carry him and put him in his crib. He will only stay asleep for 1-4 hours (varies) though and the only way he will go back to sleep is if he goes back to our bed and plays with my hair. I am not able to put him back to his crib even after he falls asleep again (i don't know why). He just had surgery two days ago and I will probably not start to do any kind of training until he is 100% better or sometimes in early Feb. He is a light sleeper and is not the type to fall asleep while drowsy.

ANyone have any suggestions?? I am fine with our sleep routine right now. I know it's my fault that he sleeps the way he sleeps right now. I am just worried that this will continue when DS3 is here ( which i'm hoping it won't, but might). Any thoughts, input, or successful/unsuccessful stories out there will help and be very appreciated! Thanks in advanced!

kagl08

I would suggest the Baby Whisperer method. It's a non-CIO method that promotes security for LO. The book is called "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" and it's amazing! We did this with my DD and it worked wonders but until recently I was stuck in her room until she fell asleep. I started CIO on Monday with her (also 17 months old) because she was "ready." CIO never worked for us in past. I would suggest doing the Baby Whisperer then CIO. Getting my DD to go to sleep on her own is absolutely wonderful and I wish I had done it sooner!

Also, your DS may be waking at night because he's looking for you. My DD was doing this and it's one of the reasons we sleep trained. Once she fell asleep on her own she didn't wake looking for me. I think getting him to sleep on his own in his crib would fix a lot of the problems.

yourmomwreckedmybike

ditto to the  prrevious post. that book is amazing. i love it.

 

we coslept until a few weeks ago. crib/toddler bed in  our room. dc is 20 months. dc sleeps so much better in his own bed in his own room. we do a similiar  routine, but end in his bed. i have  tried puttting dc to sleep in our bed when i was too exhausted, but he takess 4x longer settle down than if i just put him in  his bed..

CC.to.be

I don't have any advice just wanted to say you are not alone. I have the EXACT same issue as you.Its totally my fault as well. I am def getting the book pp mentioned. Here's hoping it works for us!

lbarrera86

kagl08:

I would suggest the Baby Whisperer method. It's a non-CIO method that promotes security for LO. The book is called "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" and it's amazing! We did this with my DD and it worked wonders but until recently I was stuck in her room until she fell asleep. I started CIO on Monday with her (also 17 months old) because she was "ready." CIO never worked for us in past. I would suggest doing the Baby Whisperer then CIO. Getting my DD to go to sleep on her own is absolutely wonderful and I wish I had done it sooner!

Also, your DS may be waking at night because he's looking for you. My DD was doing this and it's one of the reasons we sleep trained. Once she fell asleep on her own she didn't wake looking for me. I think getting him to sleep on his own in his crib would fix a lot of the problems.

Thanks for the recommendation! I am probably going to look on amazon right after this and buy it. Has your DD sttn since then?

lbarrera86

yourmomwreckedmybike:

ditto to the  prrevious post. that book is amazing. i love it.

 

we coslept until a few weeks ago. crib/toddler bed in  our room. dc is 20 months. dc sleeps so much better in his own bed in his own room. we do a similiar  routine, but end in his bed. i have  tried puttting dc to sleep in our bed when i was too exhausted, but he takess 4x longer settle down than if i just put him in  his bed..

i'm glad it has worked for you! I am going to buy the book. I have a question about transitioning your dc to his room. What age was he when u did it and did you lay a mattress on the floor? I was thinking of just having a mattress on the floor because he WHAILS when he's in his crib.

lbarrera86

CC.to.be:

I don't have any advice just wanted to say you are not alone. I have the EXACT same issue as you.Its totally my fault as well. I am def getting the book pp mentioned. Here's hoping it works for us!

GL to the both of us! Let me know if the book helps you

allie_smalls07

You mentioned that you are hoping this doesn't continue when #3 gets here, but that it might...I have to tell you, please don't wait too long to do something about it.  It is most likely not an issue that will resolve itself without intervention (I'm not suggesting any specific method, I would CIO, but you said you're not comfortable with it), my only advice though about not waiting too long is because mama you are going to need every bit of rest when that newborn arrives!  It's enough of a struggle taking care of one newborn, but when you have another child who requires this much attention to get to sleep and/or stay asleep it's bound to get old, and fast.  Don't do that to yourself

Wish you all the best and I hope the book that was suggested helps!

lbarrera86

allie_smalls07:

You mentioned that you are hoping this doesn't continue when #3 gets here, but that it might...I have to tell you, please don't wait too long to do something about it.  It is most likely not an issue that will resolve itself without intervention (I'm not suggesting any specific method, I would CIO, but you said you're not comfortable with it), my only advice though about not waiting too long is because mama you are going to need every bit of rest when that newborn arrives!  It's enough of a struggle taking care of one newborn, but when you have another child who requires this much attention to get to sleep and/or stay asleep it's bound to get old, and fast.  Don't do that to yourself

Wish you all the best and I hope the book that was suggested helps!

I know, you're right. I just have been prolonging to train him because I knew he was gonna need extra attention after his surgery. I can tell he's still in a little pain at times so I want him to be full ready for the sleep training. How have your kids been sleeping? 

lbarrera86

allie_smalls07:

You mentioned that you are hoping this doesn't continue when #3 gets here, but that it might...I have to tell you, please don't wait too long to do something about it.  It is most likely not an issue that will resolve itself without intervention (I'm not suggesting any specific method, I would CIO, but you said you're not comfortable with it), my only advice though about not waiting too long is because mama you are going to need every bit of rest when that newborn arrives!  It's enough of a struggle taking care of one newborn, but when you have another child who requires this much attention to get to sleep and/or stay asleep it's bound to get old, and fast.  Don't do that to yourself

Wish you all the best and I hope the book that was suggested helps!

I know, you're right. I just have been prolonging to train him because I knew he was gonna need extra attention after his surgery. I can tell he's still in a little pain at times so I want him to be full ready for the sleep training. How have your kids been sleeping? 

kagl08

memyselfn3boys:

kagl08:

I would suggest the Baby Whisperer method. It's a non-CIO method that promotes security for LO. The book is called "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" and it's amazing! We did this with my DD and it worked wonders but until recently I was stuck in her room until she fell asleep. I started CIO on Monday with her (also 17 months old) because she was "ready." CIO never worked for us in past. I would suggest doing the Baby Whisperer then CIO. Getting my DD to go to sleep on her own is absolutely wonderful and I wish I had done it sooner!

Also, your DS may be waking at night because he's looking for you. My DD was doing this and it's one of the reasons we sleep trained. Once she fell asleep on her own she didn't wake looking for me. I think getting him to sleep on his own in his crib would fix a lot of the problems.

Thanks for the recommendation! I am probably going to look on amazon right after this and buy it. Has your DD sttn since then?

Yes. Grace has STTN since we sleep trained her at 13 months. Before that she was up A LOT! Now since we did CIO with her last week and she puts herself to sleep, she even puts herself back to sleep if she wakes at night! I know she was ready for CIO last week, but before that neither of us were ready for CIO. That's why we did the Baby Whisperer. It was amazing and the difference was apparent the very 1st night! Good luck! I know how hard it it's to have an awful sleeper for a toddler. Now she sleep amazing (and is predictable which she never was before) and we are all much more rested.

allie_smalls07

memyselfn3boys:

allie_smalls07:

You mentioned that you are hoping this doesn't continue when #3 gets here, but that it might...I have to tell you, please don't wait too long to do something about it.  It is most likely not an issue that will resolve itself without intervention (I'm not suggesting any specific method, I would CIO, but you said you're not comfortable with it), my only advice though about not waiting too long is because mama you are going to need every bit of rest when that newborn arrives!  It's enough of a struggle taking care of one newborn, but when you have another child who requires this much attention to get to sleep and/or stay asleep it's bound to get old, and fast.  Don't do that to yourself

Wish you all the best and I hope the book that was suggested helps!

I know, you're right. I just have been prolonging to train him because I knew he was gonna need extra attention after his surgery. I can tell he's still in a little pain at times so I want him to be full ready for the sleep training. How have your kids been sleeping? 

I should have mentioned one of the reasons I feel your pain on this is because my 1st was a crappy sleeper (still rock him down for his nap @ 2 1/2!!).  My 2nd is a dream sleeper, love her for it.  I think she really had no choice but to become that way though because, sadly, a lot of the time I just had to put her down and let her figure it out cause there was a toddler climbing the walls   My 1st sleeps pretty well now, and yes, of course you should wait until your son is all better before you proceed.  (Hope you didn't think I meant not to do that)  Hopefully it will leave you enough time to deal with the sleep issue before #3 arrives.  Good luck!

celiabwatson

I have no advice because we were in the same situation and failed to do anything about it. Now I have a 5 week old and major sleep issues in my house. Today my son did not nap because he doesn't know how to fall asleep alone and my daughter kept needing something (nursing, diaper, burping, etc) right when he was getting close to sleep. Then he crashed at 5:30 and woke at 11 and now we're all awake for who knows how long...

Granted part of the ridiculousness recently is a 4 hour jet lag issue that hasn't quite resolved...