Just yesterday, it sounded like a good idea! UGH!

Jodi&Joe

So after weighing everything out, it looks like Joe would have to take an extra $800/mo out of the business to make up for my lost wages (reducing to 30 hrs).

In addition, we would need to find care for Cam from 11-2:30 everyday.  I'm sure we could make it work but it would take some shuffling between Joe, Joe's mom and Joe's dad.  Not ideal, for sure.

And then....summertime.  We would have to figure out where to put the kids all day during the summer.  If we kept them in their after school program, they would just go there like they did last summer.  However we can't afford to pay $250/week to there AND pay me the extra $800/mo (for my lost wages). 

So now we are thinking we should wait until September to do this, if at all.  That gets us through the summer and then both kids are in school full time so I will get them both after school.

I don't know if they are even going to approve the reduced hours NOW -- and if they do, I'm not sure I should do it.  If I don't do it NOW though, I'm not sure it will even be an option in September.  This is one of those things that is likely a one shot deal.  And that concerns me.

Some of my initial concerns from yesterday are Joe's concerns as well.  Basically, is the cut in pay/vacation time worth me getting home earlier.  Will it REALLY benefit Joey?  Will doing his homework 3 hours earlier in the day (and not going to the after school program) even help him at this point?  It's a big crapshoot, basically.

I do really want to make the change.  But for selfish reasons, I think.  I mean, 8-2 are pretty much dream hours for a mom, right?!  Who WOULDN'T want to do that!  Well, that and I feel like we could actually get them involved in some extra curriculars since I will be home to do the transporting. 

I don't know what to do!!  ARGH!

Jodi&Joe

I should have added that the $800/mo coming out of the business is ALREADY coming out of the business (it's goes to pay the after school program so as far as that's concerned, it's pretty much a wash).  We would be (overall) bringing home $130 less a month if I were to cut my hours than what we are currently bringing home, all expenses considered.

pookie2005

If you were using that $800 anyway, and it'll be a wash...$130 total loss of income doesn't seem AS bad. I don't know your situation so I can't speak for you but I might do it. Spending more time with your kids can never be a bad option unless it will put you in the poor house.

grja

IMO $130/month is next to nothing for 'dream' hours and not having to stick your kids in afterschool care.

I mean...thats like one less take out/eat out meal a week. I'd be willing to give that up in a heartbeat.

justEK

Is it a big deal to change the hours to 8-4? That's still plenty of time to help Joey with homework and afterschool activities.

Or, keep your hours and hire a tutor for Joey? 

Jodi&Joe

It would be 8-4:30 at that point.  (since that's full time)  Or 7:30-4.  And either MIGHT be an option (I would have to discuss with boss).  But that doesn't really serve much of a difference.  Joe picks them up at 5 most nights (sometimes 5:30).  So it would give us an extra hour.  Wouldn't allow for extra curriculars.  Wouldn't be eliminating the after school program.  Basically, it would be business as usual - I'd just be getting home anywhere from 60-90 minutes earlier.  Which, don't get me wrong, that would be SWEET!  But not sure I would have any justification (for the boss) for that kind of switch.

After school care is one flat rate.  Whether they are there for one hour -- or four hours.  It's still the same cost.  So we either need to eliminate it completely - or stay status quo.

If I did get a tutor, how would that work?  That's the thing we can't really figure out.  I mean, the tutor can't go to the after school program.  I don't think anyway.  They pretty much utilize all rooms there (as far as I know) and there are a bunch of other kids running around.  Hardly a quiet, focused environment needed to work.  See, with me being home, if we did decide to go the tutor route, they could just come to my house (or I could transport Joey to theirs). 

While we could afford the $130/mo cut, no one wants to take home LESS money each month.  We certainly aren't rolling in the dough (I make peanuts, honestly).  I don't know.  I know I'm all over the map - sorry!  LOL

Joe keeps saying "I wish I made enough money for you to just stay home!"  Well, this would be a good compromise to that, no?!  Yet he seems to be wanting all or nothing (hhmmmm, are we alike or what?!).  Ultimately, it's up to me.  But I have the feeling he's thinking it's just not a good idea. 

 

JenniC1135

Tutoring will run you well over $130 a month.  I make $65 / hour for kids Joey's age.  I'd change the hours and figure out that tiny bit of money later. 

Jodi&Joe

My main concern is summer time.  If I switch now, we can't afford to put them in daycare for the summer.  We just can't swing $800/mo out of the business to US and then another $800-1000/mo for childcare while I work from 8-2.  I don't know if I can come up with a good solution to that?!?!

 

jlw2505

For $130 less a month - I would give up eating out or some other things to be home more with my kids and work those hours.

cbidt*sgirl

Jodi&Joe:

My main concern is summer time.  If I switch now, we can't afford to put them in daycare for the summer.  We just can't swing $800/mo out of the business to US and then another $800-1000/mo for childcare while I work from 8-2.  I don't know if I can come up with a good solution to that?!?!

 

to me it seems like taking the reduced hours would make a significant difference in your home life. IF you think you can really focus on Joey and help him with his schoolwork it sounds great. Didn't the kids spend a lot of time with joe's mom last summer? Could grandparents help out in the summer?

Jodi&Joe

I think Joe's mom would definitely help out.  But I'm not sure I am ready (or if she is even willing) to do that on an every day basis - - all day, every day -- from 8:30-2.   That's a long day with two kids, for anyone.  And she is still recovering from her partial lung removal so even asking her to do that -- eh, I don't know.  Of course, it's 6 months away and she could be totally willing.  We'd have to have that conversation. I know she would LOVE LOVE LOVE (like I can't stress that enough) to 1. get them enrolled in the beach club during the summer and 2. have them do some sort of extra curricular so I think if we agreed to both of those things, she would do whatever she had to to help us make that happen.  But again, not sure *I'm* willing to put that on her.

My mom used to watch the kids for us once a week as well however she is now working full time (well, part time currently but it's daily) so she's out as well.

With Joe really hesitating about me doing these hours, I think he isn't going to be very flexible/willing to try to make the summer thing happen.  So we'll see.  We, obviously, have to talk it out some more.

katie277s

Have you considered hiring a high school or college student to come sit with the kids in the summer?  It would be far less expensive than a daycare, and would allow you to continue to work at a minimal cost.  We had a high schooler come watch L this past summer and paid her $200/week to be here from 7:30-3:00.  Summer break is only 8 weeks, right?  Maybe start saving some cash right now that you would be using for the afterschool care and you'll have it stocked away this summer and it won't feel like you're spending more than you can afford.  

Jodi&Joe

LOL - $200/wk is about what we pay their after school program.  I think during the summer, that goes up to like $300/wk but hiring a high schooler or what not would save us about $400/mo (if that).  I mean, $400 is a good chunk of change, don't get me wrong.  But they are familiar with the program and I would just feel more comfortable having them there. 

Great idea though on starting to save now!!  I don't know why I didn't think of that! 

The other thing I just thought of is that we are going on a cruise for a week in July.  So that eliminates one week of childcare.    Leaves 7 weeks.  Seems silly NOT to do it for just 7 short weeks - however if that is going to kill us financially for that 2 months, it's not worth it.  I guess.

My mind will reel until I get this figured out.  And I won't have a decision from my boss's boss until next week so I have that much time to stew over this, at the very least!  LOL

Littlejen22

I quit my job to stay home with the kids, the money loss was really hard but I would not trade the time with them for anything even though financially it is hard.  If you could make ends meet with the $130 less, I would do that in a heartbeat...that is "only" $53 a week and most people could find a way to cut that out.  I would just look at your budget.  To me it is not a guarantee that Joey will do better but it could not possible do the kids harm to be with you more.

katie277s

Jodi&Joe:

LOL - $200/wk is about what we pay their after school program.  I think during the summer, that goes up to like $300/wk but hiring a high schooler or what not would save us about $400/mo (if that).  I mean, $400 is a good chunk of change, don't get me wrong.  But they are familiar with the program and I would just feel more comfortable having them there. 

Great idea though on starting to save now!!  I don't know why I didn't think of that! 

The other thing I just thought of is that we are going on a cruise for a week in July.  So that eliminates one week of childcare.    Leaves 7 weeks.  Seems silly NOT to do it for just 7 short weeks - however if that is going to kill us financially for that 2 months, it's not worth it.  I guess.

My mind will reel until I get this figured out.  And I won't have a decision from my boss's boss until next week so I have that much time to stew over this, at the very least!  LOL

I suppose your COL is much higher than mine!  My after school program costs about $55/week!   

Ned&Nora

Make it happen.  Start figuring out your summer situation now and saving now if you can.  It's 7 weeks.  Having you home every day after school will be awesome for your kids and your family life in general.  I was so happy for you when I ready your post yesterday.

Honestly, I know you are nervous, but don't start second guessing yourself just yet.  Joe may be worried about the finances (which is smart to do), but try to sit down together and figure out a plan.  This could be really good for your family and you owe it to everyone to see if it can work.

GL!

jettagurl

I'm kinda glad I was pretty much forced into the SAHM-thing...it was a total no-brainer, and we didn't stew over it.  

That said, for summer, maybe your MIL would do 2x/week, and you can get a high-schooler for the other three days....then pay them like $30/day (90/week).  It would be a total cake job for teen - they'd be don't by 2:30 to go to the pool or hang with friends, or work another job.  Put back that $30 a week now and you'll basically have that $$ set aside before summer gets here.

I think you can totally make it work.  Another thing to factor in is lunches out..if you're not taking a lunch, you won't be spending $$ then.  

GL.   

I think you'll love the extra time with the kids, and you can get to the heart of Joey's struggles.  If it's not any better/just not working, then you can probably always go back to FT, right?