June 2011 Moms

What kind of DH/SO do you have? CLICKY

I've been feeling especially appreciative of DH lately (he let Cammie "beat him up" for 15 min yesterday just b/c she was cracking up with it). Plus I love a clicky poll.

For all his selective hearing issues, he's overall a pretty awesome DH. He does all the kitchen cleaning, the floors, the laundry (including the cloth diapers), and runs all our errands on the weekend so I can get time with Cam. He feeds her, gets up with her, and loves to rock her to sleep. He always offers to put her in his carrier (yes, he has his own) when we are walking around, and has probably changed more diapers than I have (I will never tell him this- EVER).

Overall I have to give him one little step below the Father of the Year award- (he's supposed to pick her up at 4:30 from daycare- I think he's made it by 4:30 twice. ever.)

Now that 6 months have passed, how are you feeling about DH's skills?

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Re: What kind of DH/SO do you have? CLICKY

  • I would love to give him Father of the Year.... but it's the times that I ask him to watch K while I take care of something and I hear her fussing or crying and I peek  in to see what's up....and he's sitting there watching TV totally oblivious to the fit she's throwing in his lap that prevents me for nominating him for Father of the Year. Embarrassed
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  • my income does not really support us since I only work two short days a week. He does. He works his a$$ off to do it and works crazy long hours. He gets home at about 11 or later every night so he's rarely here. Some weeks he gets two days off, sometimes only one day (the day I work).

    He does all the yard stuff and takes out the trash (he also cleans up after himself)  but really on his days off aside from the yard stuff we try to use that time as quality family time. I did come home from work yesterday to him scrubbing the tile and vacuuming though but mostly I do all the house stuff. We share in caring for Finley on his days off and he cares for her when I go to work on Tuesdays but when he works it is 100% me because she is asleep by the time he gets home.

    He is pretty great but of course I do get a little bitter at times because it's mostly all me at home but I really do have to stop and think that he isnt just chilling at work either, he is busting his butt for our family and for me to be able to be home with F and to have all the stuff we have.

  • DH gets father of the year hands down. He is an amazing and super involved dad who gives me several breaks throughout the day. He takes care of the kids, feeds them, plays with them, changes diapers and cooks. He does so much I can't even list it all here. He's not perfect but neither am I! We pick up each others slack. I am very lucky!
  • I voted SS because he generally falls in between "Does what has to be done, no more" and "pretty good overall", though sometimes I seriously feel like it'd be easier to be a single parent!

    The main "problem" I have is that  no matter how many times I tell him,  he refuses to acknowledge everything I *we* have to do on a daily basis.  He's washed bottles once, ever, and that was because I had to work until 9:30 that night.  He always says he'll clean up after dinner since I cook dinner, but his idea of this is taking the dishes to the counter next to the sink.  Doesn't even rinse them off.  The only time he puts dishes IN the sink is pots and pans.  Sometimes soaks them.  

    I don't think he knows how much formula to use in a bottle- if I wasn't so anal about keeping the formula sorter full he wouldn't know what to do!  I guess I make that part too easy on him.

    The reason I sometimes think it'd be easier to be a single parent is because I pick up after myself and wouldn't have to "raise" my 29-year-old DH.  

    That being said - he is an AMAZING father.  He's great with Ty (even if he somehow always hands him off to me when he needs a diaper change!) and is an awesome provider for our family.  He's not too overbearing, but I swear that sometimes he's more careful and gentle with Ty than I am.  I'm sure I make things too easy on him and that's why he feels like he can get away with the crap he pulls around the house, but honestly, to me it's just easier than conflict.  

    Plus, I had a complete breakdown the day before NYE because Ty wouldn't go to sleep no matter what we did, and I was SOOOO over his growth spurt he was going through.  DH wasn't helping at all, but he was busy so I get it.  He finally finished what he was working on at midnight and completely took over.  I hadn't had a breakdown like that in MONTHS and it scared him I think.  Ever since he's been much better at recognizing when I'm at a breaking point and helping out with Ty more.

    (Wow, I kinda vented here a bit, didn't I?!  Oops!  At least it was cathartic!) 

  • DH is def a Father of the year. he could work a little on the husband of the year title (i do most of the house work b.c he will wait til the last minute on everything!) but he is a stellar father and J is a daddy's boy.
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  • imagebunnymama625:

    I've been feeling especially appreciative of DH lately (he let Cammie "beat him up" for 15 min yesterday just b/c she was cracking up with it). Plus I love a clicky poll.

    For all his selective hearing issues, he's overall a pretty awesome DH. He does all the kitchen cleaning, the floors, the laundry (including the cloth diapers), and runs all our errands on the weekend so I can get time with Cam. He feeds her, gets up with her, and loves to rock her to sleep. He always offers to put her in his carrier (yes, he has his own) when we are walking around, and has probably changed more diapers than I have (I will never tell him this- EVER).

    Overall I have to give him one little step below the Father of the Year award- (he's supposed to pick her up at 4:30 from daycare- I think he's made it by 4:30 twice. ever.)

    Now that 6 months have passed, how are you feeling about DH's skills?

     Can we do a husband swap for a week? Lol. I have to practically beg my DH to change diapers. Don't get me wrong. He works hard, but in the evenings he gets to relax  most of the time while I continue to take care of DD. 

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  • I'm jealous of those who think their hubs is father of the year.  My husband is coming around finally, but it took me having a complete mental breakdown the day before Christmas Eve for him to actually get where I was coming from.  I really felt up until then that I was a single parent with a roommate.  He has really made an effort though, so I chose that I have to beg for help.  Hopefully by the end of the year I can choose Dad of the year!
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  • imagecvanderh:

     Can we do a husband swap for a week? Lol. I have to practically beg my DH to change diapers. Don't get me wrong. He works hard, but in the evenings he gets to relax  most of the time while I continue to take care of DD. 

     

    hahaha-- he takes it as a male pride thing and makes a point to do it when anyone is around- b/c of course they always comment "he does diapers? what a great guy!" He's also endlessly convinced she's upset b/c she's wet.

    I could care less WHY he does them, but he definitely does a LOT :)

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  • imageTelly21182:


    The reason I sometimes think it'd be easier to be a single parent is because I pick up after myself and wouldn't have to "raise" my 29-year-old DH.  


     I feel you on this.  I seriously have nightmares that something happens to me and my husband is left with our daughter.  I don't know if she would survive in his care. Seriously. 
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  • imageTelly21182:


    The reason I sometimes think it'd be easier to be a single parent is because I pick up after myself and wouldn't have to "raise" my 29-year-old DH.  


     I feel you on this.  I seriously have nightmares that something happens to me and my husband is left with our daughter.  I don't know if she would survive in his care. Seriously. 
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  • The only reason I don't give him father of the year is that I feel like I'm by default in charge of everything baby related, and he does stuff if I ask him to, but sometimes I'd like him to just do stuff. But then I'd probably follow him around and make sure he did it "right", so I'm sure this works fine. He's by default in charge of pretty much everything else around the house so it equals out, too. I don't even think I know where we keep paper towels, they just appear on the roll every so often.

    Edit: you have reminded me, when we were on Christmas vacation, I had to change all diapers on the plane, and TWO of them were poopy, and most of the planes had no changing table. I resolved at the time that he would make it up to me by changing several of the next poopy diapers and I have not made him do it. This will happen.

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  • imageEMLYNNLERETTE:
    imageTelly21182:


    The reason I sometimes think it'd be easier to be a single parent is because I pick up after myself and wouldn't have to "raise" my 29-year-old DH.  


     I feel you on this.  I seriously have nightmares that something happens to me and my husband is left with our daughter.  I don't know if she would survive in his care. Seriously. 

    I have had this nightmare too! 

  • imageEMLYNNLERETTE:
    I'm jealous of those who think their hubs is father of the year.  My husband is coming around finally, but it took me having a complete mental breakdown the day before Christmas Eve for him to actually get where I was coming from.  I really felt up until then that I was a single parent with a roommate.  He has really made an effort though, so I chose that I have to beg for help.  Hopefully by the end of the year I can choose Dad of the year!

    It took a breakdown from me the day before NYE for DH to start coming around to just how much I had on my plate without his help. 

  • I voted 'Father of the Year'. He just took a new job and turned down twice what his raise would have been at his current job. Uck. That makes me sick to even think about. 

    He will wash diapers and dishes. He offers to spray out every poopy diaper when he's here. Actually he doesn't offer - he just does it (amazing).  He loves playing with Caleb and bathtime and rocking him to sleep. I may have to tell him what needs to be done, but he doesn't have any problem doing it.

    Now if I could just convince him that he doesn't need 75 t-shirts (he can only wear business casual to his job) so that I don't have to pack them..... 

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  • imageTelly21182:

    imageEMLYNNLERETTE:
    I'm jealous of those who think their hubs is father of the year.  My husband is coming around finally, but it took me having a complete mental breakdown the day before Christmas Eve for him to actually get where I was coming from.  I really felt up until then that I was a single parent with a roommate.  He has really made an effort though, so I chose that I have to beg for help.  Hopefully by the end of the year I can choose Dad of the year!

    It took a breakdown from me the day before NYE for DH to start coming around to just how much I had on my plate without his help. 

    Must require breakdowns to snap DHs back into line! Before Thanksgiving I had a breakdown about his Masters courses...  The way he had them set up he would wrap one up on Tuesday and the next day he started a new one... So he literally wasn't getting any breaks. He's a big time perfectionist, so he spent all his time working on homework, so I felt like I was doing everything on my own because all his time at home was spent studying. Drove me crazy. I finally had a breakdown and told him how I felt, now he takes breaks between his classes....at least he is with this next one... We'll see if he keeps it up.

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  • imageMommaA117:

    my income does not really support us since I only work two short days a week. He does. He works his a$$ off to do it and works crazy long hours. He gets home at about 11 or later every night so he's rarely here. Some weeks he gets two days off, sometimes only one day (the day I work).

    He does all the yard stuff and takes out the trash (he also cleans up after himself)  but really on his days off aside from the yard stuff we try to use that time as quality family time. I did come home from work yesterday to him scrubbing the tile and vacuuming though but mostly I do all the house stuff. We share in caring for Finley on his days off and he cares for her when I go to work on Tuesdays but when he works it is 100% me because she is asleep by the time he gets home.

    He is pretty great but of course I do get a little bitter at times because it's mostly all me at home but I really do have to stop and think that he isnt just chilling at work either, he is busting his butt for our family and for me to be able to be home with F and to have all the stuff we have.

    Exactly this even down to working 2 days a week and him home with her then. He works really hard so I can primarily SAH. I'd love more help around the house but it's a trade off.  

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  • imageTelly21182:
    imageEMLYNNLERETTE:
    imageTelly21182:


    The reason I sometimes think it'd be easier to be a single parent is because I pick up after myself and wouldn't have to "raise" my 29-year-old DH.  


     I feel you on this.  I seriously have nightmares that something happens to me and my husband is left with our daughter.  I don't know if she would survive in his care. Seriously. 

    I have had this nightmare too! 

    I think a lot of it is because they know we do it all. If we were really gone I think they would step it up.

  • I voted SS.  He's right on the verge of father of the year, but that's only when we see him which is not very often.  Like PP, he busts his ass for me to be able to stay home and for us to live the kind of life we live, but we seriously never see him.  He's usually gone from the house from 7:00 am - 9:00 pm or later.  Most days he doesn't even get to see our daughter when she's awake.  When he is home, he has to be attached to his BB all.the.freaking.time.  In the little bit of down time he has, however, he's fantastic and loves her to pieces.  I'm certainly doing the vast majority of the parenting and housework right now.

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  • Def Father of the Year but since DD was born, he's gone from Husband of the Year to pretty good overall. I guess I'm not the wife I was either. We both favor DD over each other and putting our relationship on the back burner definitely takes its toll!


     

      
  • DH is awesome with DS. He is so happy to see DS after work and pretty much takes over baby duties. On top of going to work, he occasionally cooks, cleans the bathroom (!!) and does all the household laundry. He is a little OCD about keeping a tidy house so he cleans up after himself and sometimes me too! 

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  • He does an awesome job, and I am very lucky to have him.
  • Definitely father of the year! He busts his butt working from home so that we don't have to put LO in daycare.
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  • Father of the Year.  He loves her so much.  As soon as he gets home, he grabs her and goes and plays, gives her a bath.  He does all the nighttime diaper changes.  He stays home on Fridays to take care of her while I work.  Right after I had her, I got the stomach flu and he figured out the moby and carted her around all day, just bringing her to me when she needed to nurse b/c I was so sick.
  • imageMommaA117:
    imageTelly21182:
    imageEMLYNNLERETTE:
    imageTelly21182:


    The reason I sometimes think it'd be easier to be a single parent is because I pick up after myself and wouldn't have to "raise" my 29-year-old DH.  


     I feel you on this.  I seriously have nightmares that something happens to me and my husband is left with our daughter.  I don't know if she would survive in his care. Seriously. 

    I have had this nightmare too! 

    I think a lot of it is because they know we do it all. If we were really gone I think they would step it up.

    I agree with this. I've had that thought too, but in the end I know that if I died DS would be taken care of. He might not make all his baby food homemade or keep the house as clean as I like it, but DS would be fed, warm and loved.  

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  • imagechuicafina:
    imageMommaA117:
    imageTelly21182:
    imageEMLYNNLERETTE:
    imageTelly21182:


    The reason I sometimes think it'd be easier to be a single parent is because I pick up after myself and wouldn't have to "raise" my 29-year-old DH.  


     I feel you on this.  I seriously have nightmares that something happens to me and my husband is left with our daughter.  I don't know if she would survive in his care. Seriously. 

    I have had this nightmare too! 

    I think a lot of it is because they know we do it all. If we were really gone I think they would step it up.

    I agree with this. I've had that thought too, but in the end I know that if I died DS would be taken care of. He might not make all his baby food homemade or keep the house as clean as I like it, but DS would be fed, warm and loved.  

    Yeah, I know he'd end up being ok, but the beginning would be a bit rough.  I'm rereading some of the other responses and it got me thinking... DH is AMAZING with Ty, but I still do most of the parenting.  He's only given one bath - and that was the first one when I insisted he help because I was terrified.  He's never fed him solids.  He did watch me through the camera the very first time, but other than that - nothing!  I know he'd figure it out, and while of course I hope it never comes to that, I just wish that he'd already know how to do this stuff if it ever came to that. 

  • But is making baby food and washing diapers required to be Father of the Year? Ne doesn't do these things because he doesn't have time. I don't work, so I doit. When I go back to teaching next year, I'm sure that I will still do most of it. And he will be traveling a ton more, to other continents, so it will really be on me. He still does a phenomenal job and is a top notch hubby and father.
  • MH works his butt off at work and when he comes home he has no problem helping out around the house and with DD. He's wonderful, and should get multiple awards. :)
  • My dad was a "father of the year" type, so the bar is set really high for DH. I think he is great, supportive of my EP/complaining about EP, takes over when I get overwhelmed putting LO to bed no problem, is great playing with LO, is great changing diapers and making bottles when we supplement. He really loves being a dad.

    That said, I wish he would take over baby duty sometimes without me having to ask him for help. I also wish he take it upon himself to pack a bag for LO when we go out...if I didn't do it myself every time it wouldn't happen. We'd have no diapers, no toys, no bottles, nothing! Why doesn't he think of the diaper bag?? lol I'm not great with remember all the little details so I really wish he was that kind of person or at least try to be sometimes!

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  • I would also almost give him father of the year.  He is great with her, feeds her, changes diapers, gets up during the night.  Lately though with her new whining phase, I am the one that is on the floor keeping her entertained all night while he sits and watches his stupid Pawn Stars, Ax Men, Swamp whatever, or Storage Wars.  I will give him props for not complaining more than a handful of times.
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  • Mine does the best he can, considering he is gone every other week.  He is notorious for sitting her in the jumperoo and leaving her, now that she has outgrown the swing, putting her down for a nap might get interesting
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  • Father of the year hands down. He is so on top of keeping bottles washed. He cooks most of our meals for us. He will change a diaper, no problem. is say we are about even on diaper changes, but he doesn't mind on bit. He even gets her dressed in the morning. I do the majority of the household cleaning, but he has no problem helping out when we are both home or doing some laundry.

    He went out of town for a couple of days this weekend. Before he leather cleaned up the house because he knows how much it stresses me when it gets messy. I had zero motivation to clean that day, and he didn't care one bit that I just hung out with A while he cleaned up.

    So I suppose he gets husband and father of the year. For the most part we are pretty equal partners and I love that we are like that.
  • Sometimes I feel like a single parent but not because he isn't willing to help.  Since he's the only income we have he works a ton to support us to the best of his ability so that I can stay home.  I think that's worth the trade off in getting help around the house and with the baby consistantly.  When he is home and not catching up on sleep he's great with her and he truly enjoys spending time with her! :-)
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