F/U to Schedule Question

mindingpandq

So many of you are working families. DW and I are as well... I will soon go back to work full-time and I am sad for our future children about it, but think that's probably irrational on some level. So, how do you feel your relationship with your children is impacted, if any???

 

Kershnic

I am obviously not a parent yet, so I can't really help you with your question....

However, I will say that I am quite stressed about this issue.  I always assumed my/our children would go to daycare... it seemed like the modern, progressive thing to do.   And then we got close to actually having children and I realized how scary that sounds.  I had a SAHM and DW's parents used creative work schedules to arrange for a parent to be home the vast majority of the time.  In planning for our two-working-parent household I definitely have a lot of feelings of sadness thinking of how different our children's childhoods will be.  

However, I see our nephews and the children of some close friends flourishing in daycare.  And they all are still so obviously bonded with their parents.  So I take strength from these examples... 

I'm sure others will weigh in on their actual experiences, but I wanted to add my commiserating thoughts of thinking of future children.... 

2brides

Like I posted in my previous post, the boys were home with our nanny for 3y - so needless to say, they had an extraordinary bond with her. In the beginning I had to work through my jealousy when the boys would go to her than us. But I learned that the boys could love all of us and they know who their moms are. We are the ones here at 3am when they have a bad dream. We are the ones here when the flu hits and they need to cuddle. We are the ones sitting in the audience of every recital, play, and sports event cheering them on. We are the ones making awesome memories with them on the weekend.

And in our experience biology doesn't mean anything. The kids love L with utter abandon (and she them.) They have no concept of genetics (and honestly, Grayson is MUCH more like her than like me.) So despite us working full time, the kids are certainly bonded to us and love us to pieces.

ctbride08

Our kids have been going to daycare from the start (we didnt even get a maternity leave and barely scraped together 8 weeks to stay home with our youngest until she coudl go to daycare).

and honestly, its been wonderful for all of us. We adore and fully trust the daycare they go to and the kids love their daycare providers. that makes all the difference (plus, my mom works at the daycare so they get the combo).

though i sometimes long to be home with them more (not necessarily sahm, more like PT sahm), this works well for all of us and the attachments/bonds are as strong as they could ever be.