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Parenting
I've been thinkin', and I'm scared. (Venting, sort of long, didn't know where else to post)
I had literally just started going to college when I found out I was pregnant in the summer. I managed to stick it out through the first trimester's exhaustion and terrible morning sickness. Had a couple weeks off, back for fall. Took winter semester off as a maternity leave type thing. I am due in March. Spring semester starts up in April and I am planning on going back for Spring if my recovery goes smoothly. The only thing is, that gives me 4 weeks to recover and get my crap together before going back. I am so scared that is not enough time, and I would really like to go back But I'm afraid it will all be too stressful and I will go insane. Realizing that I am going to have to balance having a newborn (FTM), having a happy marriage, staying on the Dean's list, and eventually taking up an internship/new job as a pharmaceutical technician, keeping the house clean, sleeping ENOUGH...- I AM TERRIFIED. Thinking about the future inevitably turns into a panic attack. I don't know how I am going to manage. . . When I talk to DH about it, he assures me everything will be okay. He says we will see how everything turns out. But I don't think he fully understands the extent of my worry. I have to stay on the Dean's list or I will be shattered. I have to be the best mom I can be, the best wife I can be, and I have to be good to myself as well. -Deep breath- I can not wait, because I have so much on my plate. I need to finish school ASAP which means I need to return ASAP. I'm getting my associates, so I still have a year and a half until I'm done.
I just read on yahoo some mother's experiences going back to college. They are asking if three months is too soon. I'm planning on one month off! I'm freaking out. Please, any advice?
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Re: I've been thinkin', and I'm scared. (Venting, sort of long, didn't know where else to post)
Since starting classes in late June, I've taken off 2 days. One- in the first trimester because I was literally falling asleep in front of the computer, so I went home. Another one in second trimester because I was having a horrible day, and it wasn't even really my fault that I wasn't able to go to school that day.
You will be fine. Not going to school is not an option. Or at least it shouldn't be. Many women return to work at 6 weeks PP and do just fine. They manage. They have to. So think of school as your job. At the most, I would allow yourself one semester delay in going back. But that's it.
FWIW, I went back at 11 weeks (with Joey) and 9 weeks (with Cam) and I was fine both times. I was actually scheduled to go back at 11 weeks with Cam and chose to go back two weeks earlier. Granted 11 and 9 weeks is longer than 4 weeks. But I'm guessing (I could be wrong) you aren't doing 40 hours/wk in school?
At 1 month pp, I was dealing with a baby that wanted to bf every 2 hours around the clock. It was super exhausting. By the time I would get done feeding him, get him situated, I would have like an hour to sleep before being up again.
No way in hell, could I have managed to get homework done, etc.
ETA: Are your classes online? What if you have a c/s? I wasn't cleared to drive until 6 pp due to pain meds.
4 weeks is not a lot of time.
I did it. I maintained a 4.0 in the process and took full loads. I got pg with DD1 in March while doing a full coarseload. I took 1 class in Maymester- 3 weeks long, and 1 class over the summer semester. I again took a full load in the fall even though I was due mid-November. I gave birth via c-section on November 20- the Sunday before Thanksgiving, and was back at school the next week- on the 28th. I did take a class off here and there, and I was able to a few family members who could watch DD for the last 3 weeks of fall semester. My professors were understanding and a couple even offered to extend my deadline into January or February, but I was able to finish everything before the deadlines in December. I already had daycare lined up for January, so I went ahead with my full schedule for spring semester.
I won't lie- it was really tough sometimes, but I have always been really dedicated to my school work and getting good grades. It was tough going back a week later while still recovering from a c-section. That part was probably a little crazy and over the top, especially considering my parking space was at least half a mile walk from my classes. It was also tough because I was nursing DD, so I had to pump before and sometimes after classes to keep things in check.
I think if you have a good support system, you can make it happen. Good luck!
First, (((hugs))). You have to cut yourself a little slack in terms of your own expectations. You will not be the best student, mother or wife you can possibly be every single day. You just won't. Just do your best. That's all you can do.
I was never a student after having kids, but I was always on the dean's list and actually found that the semester when my life was the most hectic was the semester I got my best grades. It's funny what a little extra pressure can do.
If you have to go back so soon, you'll figure out a way to make it work. Are you sure you can't give yourself a little more time, though? It would certainly be easier if you could wait.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
Dang, a week after c-section. -shudders-
I decided if I need to I will wait it out for spring, and get back in during summer semesters. I really appreciate the support from you girls, and I enjoy the motivation I'm getting as well to get the job done. Keep posting! It's assuring..