Angry teens

June4bride2be

What is your thoughts on teen anger, suicide, cutting, etc? Did anyone ever do things to harm themselves (I am sorry if this is too personal)? I guess I just don't understand causing ones own pain.

When we were in the ER we were first roomed with a teen girl. She was laying down and smiled when I walked in with R, she had an enormous goose egg on her forehead. My first thought was car accident. She was alone and just laying there.

A nurse came in and drew the curtain, but I could obviously still hear. She made the girl undress/put gown on. She took everything she had, tried to take her hair tie too but the girl asked to keep it. She said she needed it to feel better and it was an obsession (it was in her hair). Then it clicked....she was there because she had hurt herself. The nurse spoke loud and firm to her.....this child broke my heart. The smile she gave when we came in made her seem so sweet and lost. It hurt to know she was alone (she asked if anyone was coming and was told that someone was on the way).

The doc came in and asked her if she hurt herself, if she was knocked unconscious, or if she wanted to hurt herself right now. She said yes.

They moved her to another room after that. Our doc came in and said "Sorry about that, you don't need an angry teen as a roommate".  I just replied that it was heart breaking to see.

What do you think causes this? Parents fault? Chemical imbalance issues? Is this something we as parents can prevent? It is scarey.....could this happen to our kids?????? This combined with the bully/suicide with the Spencerport teen has me a little freaked.

ArcticFox

I think it's a lot of different things.  Hurting yourself is a way of expressing yourself, when you don't have an outlet for pain and anger.  A lot of kids go through depression, it could be hormonal, could be from things like peer issues (bullying, being mean in general, not fitting in, that kind of thing).  In general, people who self mutilate one way or another, do not wish to kill themselves, it is just a means of releasing pain.

It could be related to parental stuff, but it could be tough for parents to find out about it too.  Sort of like an eating disorder - there are a lot of self control issues, channeling pain/anger - but not necessarily obvious to others.  

Ashnmike528

That's heartbreaking.  I don't have any personal experience with this, but from what I understand, the "only way" some people can release their inner pain is to inflict physical pain on themselves.

 A friend of mine committed suicide a couple years after HS graduation. I had just gone out with her a few weeks before and had NO idea she was that depressed. I knew she had substance abuse issues, which in hindsight probably stemmed from depression issues. I just remember being so sad yet so freakin mad at her for doing that to herself, and her loved ones. 

TinyPinkBug

It isn't anything new.  It just gets picked up more on the news more now then when we were kids.  I have very strong feels on this topic and do feel that while a lot of it is completely internal and irrelivent of the outside world and experiences, a lot of it also comes from parenting and experiences at a very young age.  It is just another one of those there is no one size fits all answers.  In adults, we just find other ways to express.  There are still adults that cut, pick and other self mutilating activities but also it turns into drug abuse, alcohol abuse, sexual addictions, over eating...

emiliemetcalf

I work with teens and see a lot of this and pp's are right that there are so many reasons for the angry teen behavior.  I read a fabulous book called Hurt by Chap Clark that discusses why teens today seem to have a harder time dealing with the pressures of life than teens 50 years ago.  It is religiously based, but not overly so, and I think definitely worth the read.  He talks about a lot of parenting issues and ways to parent better to help our kids mature in healthy ways.

Mitzzi23

I truly believe kids today deal with a lot more than kids many years ago.  Families are so different, they don't get the same support at home for various reasons, whether it is the parents not caring or the parents out working several jobs just to make ends meet.  Kids don't always know how to reach out for help in a productive manner.  My BFF growing up was a cutter, and a lot of it was because it was how she expressed her pent up anger.  It's sad.