What schedules do you work?

mindingpandq

How many of you are full-time workers and how many - you or your partners - SAHMs/Ds? Wondering how the full-time workers coped with leaving LOs at home and going back to work when the other caregiver was not the primary caregiver.

2moms2twins

we work from home so we have a diff situation.  we love it but at time are not very good employees but our boss is awesome and if one of us tends to the girls the other  takes out work load.

That being said i had to leave to do a phlebotomy rotation  and I worked 12 hrs shifts Fri Sat and Sunday and it KILLED me to leave and I felt horrible and  was worried the girls would forget me - I cried the first 3 days ...

We went to a wedding a few months back and I met a couple that each has a child and they said they thought it was interesting because they said if one child got hurt or was needy he was needy for his BIO mom .. I worry about this and should probably do a survey with people ...  ( oh i guess that does not really pertain to the question you ask sorry TANGENT )

-J

fitzhughh

I work full time night shift 7p-7:30a and SO works full time days 5:30a-@4:30p. We have not decided how we will work things out yet. The good thing is I get the 8 weeks maternity leave, but she does not get anything except for 2 weeks PTO she will save. I am hoping to switch to day shift when I return to work from maternity leave. Though, we have until Aug to figure all of this out...

ctbride08

DW works 32ish hours a week (about 7:30-2pm) and I work FT (about 45-50hrs on a non-travel week)

2brides

Both L and I have always worked FT. She went back to work when the boys were 2 weeks and I went back at 4m. I work 8am-4:30. I have to leave home with the kids at 7am in order to drop them off and get to work and then pick them up around 5:15 and get home around 6. 

L works 7-4ish. She leaves the house around 6 and when she picks up the kids, she gets them around 4:30 - getting home around 5:15. She also has the ability to work from home on occasion.

Our kids stayed home with a nanny from 4m-3y (same woman.) The kids ADORED her (and she them.) And there were times that they preferred her to either of us (wanted her to hold them/feed them/whatever.) At first it was a bit rough, but I was just thankful that the kids were spending time with someone they clearly loved. And in the end, they knew who there moms were. Nannys/day care providers come and go, but parents are forever. I never really fretted or worried or felt guilty about going back to work. I think I make a much better parent by not being a SAHM. My ideal now would be to work 8-3 and be there to get them when school gets out so we'd be home by 4:30 and have a less rushed evening. Se la vie.

 Re: J's concerns. As I have posted on here before L is definitely the preferred parent in our house. At dinner everyone wants to sit next to her. When we are lying in bed everyone wants to lay on her. Carter tends to come to me for comfort, but Gray has ALWAYS gone to L for comfort. I don't think it is who is around more (since I spend more time with the kids on any given week due to L going into work early and her weekend dissertation writing) or biologically related - but who the child identifies with.

Two*True

We both work full time (40+ hours a week).  I always wanted to be a SAHM and if we ever had the ability for me to do so I might.  However the day I went back to work was actually relaxing for me.  Now granted, DD was at daycare just down the hall (my work has onsite daycare) but it was sooooo nice to type with two hands, talk on the phone without a kid on my boob, and generally just be in non-mommy mode for a bit. 

DD is no longer at the onsite daycare and I find myself missing her more.  I wish we had more time together but this is just how life has to be right now and I'm not going to get depressed over 'what-ifs'

TryingToGrow

I could never be a stay at home mom, I would go crazy. We both work full time. She works at a clinic from 8-5 I work in a nursing home from noon to eight pm  when we have a baby I will want to switch to day shift 5 am to 1ish pm so I can spend evenings with my family when I go and finish dental hygienist school though and work regularly as one J wants to stay at home but that's 5-6 years off

cookiemonster03

We both work standard hours, FT (me 7:30-4, DW 8ish-5ish). I'm gone 6:45-5, she's gone 7:30-5:30 or 6. They are with their grandmas right now, but will go to FT Daycare at a center next week 7:30-5.

I miss them sometimes, and I know DW had a hard time when she went back at 4 mo, but working definitely makes us better parents. Kids are exhausting. And repetitive.

nevr2amazin

We both work FT. I think C would make a better SAHM than I would, only b/c she has more patience than I do. I would love to stay home, but really if I had the chance the clean, cook, and keep up with the laundry. It is kind of hard when I am refereeing squabbles, keeping Little Man from scaling anything he can, and resisting the urge to sit down in my chair when they tell me, "Mama sit down!"

lnelson20

We both work full time as attorneys so the hours vary depending on whether or not we are in trial--but as a minimum we tend to work 9-5. I think to different degrees we would both love to stay home--but we are good at what we do and our kids are in a daycare that we really love!

Kershnic

We haven't done this yet, but like lnelson we both would love to stay home...and probably neither of us will.  We both work M-F 9ish to 5ish.  Currently we both work longer hours, but should be able to cut back to real 9-5 (or maybe stagger her 9-5, me 10-6 or so.)

mindingpandq

2moms2twins:

we work from home so we have a diff situation.  we love it but at time are not very good employees but our boss is awesome and if one of us tends to the girls the other  takes out work load.

That being said i had to leave to do a phlebotomy rotation  and I worked 12 hrs shifts Fri Sat and Sunday and it KILLED me to leave and I felt horrible and  was worried the girls would forget me - I cried the first 3 days ...

We went to a wedding a few months back and I met a couple that each has a child and they said they thought it was interesting because they said if one child got hurt or was needy he was needy for his BIO mom .. I worry about this and should probably do a survey with people ...  ( oh i guess that does not really pertain to the question you ask sorry TANGENT )

-J

 

Post this! I am the non-bio mom and took care of LO from birth so you would assume I would be her primary attachment. DW had horrible post partum and went back to work early and wasn't really too involved in the caretaking until close to a year. LO generally prefers her, especially if upset or sick. I really feel like it is biological/nature... she has something I don't. I think I asked a similar question before and many people felt they each shared equaly in the relationship...

TaylorandMel

We are both registered nurses, and we currently both work evenings.  However when the babies arrive, one of us is going to have to change shifts-and/or-positions, as we are hoping to avoid paying for child care for two newborns, and we want to be the primary care givers of our babies. In addition to this, we are hoping that we can both work a .7 or .8, so that we can be home more (work 3-4 days/week).

My mom and sisters have agreed to watch them when our schedules overlap a little (but they all work too).  I hope this all works out, as T keeps ensuring me that we do not have to be looking for childcare right now.

 

Jazibel

I loved reading the posts - we're currently struggling with figuring out what to do...  Right now we both work FT, me 7:30 - 5:30 (9/10's w/ every other Friday off) and a 50 minute commute and DW kind of makes her own schedule but 8 - 5ish.  Not sure if I will be a SAHM for a while (working on starting my own business), or keep my job and go the daycare/nanny route. We're also thinking about buying a house in the next year(ish), so I'll definitely keep my job until then.