Lurker question re: toddler bedsharing

NDKate2010

Hi all -- I don't usually post, but I read the board a lot and have learned from a lot of you!  But now I have a question.

We have a 21 month old who starts the night in his crib and then usually comes into our bed around 12-1am for the rest of the night.  I am currently 31 weeks pregnant with baby #2, and I am starting to get more uncomfortable just physically having him in bed.  I'm also a bit nervous about whether he will be sleeping well in our bed once baby #2 comes, as he cuddles up with me (which I love!), but generally wakes if I have to get up early for work or something. 

My son has a great night-time routine of bath, sippy of milk, books and bed, although I often rock him to sleep, but he does also go to sleep having his back patted in his crib.  Honestly, we got into the bed sharing habit because I was just too tired from being pregnant (early on) to try to get him back to sleep in his crib.  Considering he goes to sleep in his crib for bedtime about 1/2 the time, do you guys think it would be worth it to try to get him to go back to sleep at his midnight wake-up that way, and not bring him into our bed?  Or is it not worth it to lose that much sleep when I know he'll sleep the rest of the night in our bed?

Any thoughts?  Sorry, this got long!  Thank you!

jshf

I'm not sure what the best solution for you is, but we decided that DH would sleep with DS1 and I would sleep with DS2.  It does suck that we don't get to sleep together, but DS1 still wakes up a couple of times at night and we're really not interested in waking up with him.  Plus DH likes bedsharing and isn't ready to give that up with DS1 yet.  We also figured DS2 would wake up a lot at first and there isn't really a point for us to both be up at night.  Thankfully DS2 is sleeping pretty well!  

If you really want to get DS1 to stay in his crib, you may just want to sleep in his room so that when he wakes up you can just try to shush him back to sleep without getting him out of bed.  He may be inclined to stay in his crib if he sees that you are there.  

Well, GL! 

GypsyEsq

I think it depends on why he's waking.  Assuming it's habit then you can break it, but it will take time and you'll lose sleep so I'm not sure you want to do it right now.  On the other hand, it will be harder to have the baby come home and then try and do it only because I'd think there'd be some jealousy issues.  DD was in a toddler bed at that point so she could get out and come to our room if she wanted, but she didn't always.  Now she's in a full size bed and goes to bed just fine on her own but because I'm up all night tossing, turning and trying to get comfy DH has started sleeping with her because it's more restful!  Hah!  Honestly in your position I'd be tempted to let it slide for a while, but if bed space is the issue I'd have DH move.  But I'm horrible like that and actually prefer to sleep with my non-snoring DD than with snoring DH - even though I love him to pieces.

jazzyag

jshf:

I'm not sure what the best solution for you is, but we decided that DH would sleep with DS1 and I would sleep with DS2.  It does suck that we don't get to sleep together, but DS1 still wakes up a couple of times at night and we're really not interested in waking up with him.  Plus DH likes bedsharing and isn't ready to give that up with DS1 yet.  We also figured DS2 would wake up a lot at first and there isn't really a point for us to both be up at night.  Thankfully DS2 is sleeping pretty well!  

Well, GL! 

This is close to what we do too.  DH starts in our bed and then moves into DD1's bed when she wakes up.  I stay in our bed with DD2.